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Royston

@voodooroy.bsky.social
440 followers 241 following 7.5K posts

It’s not where you’re from; it’s not where you’ve been; it’s not what you’ve seen *it’s where you’re between.* ⚒️People’s Republic of Essex ⚒️

PostsRepliesMedia
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FLAVOR FLAV ⏰ @flavorflav.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Newest Super Group,,, FLAVOR DAVES,!! #DaveMatthews #DaveGrohl #FooFighters
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Toby Earle 🇺🇦 @tobyontv.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
*rubs temples* why am i reading about MPs scrutinising Eurovision track record instead of them taking action against far-right and fascist groups that are harrassing the RNLI, the public, & shutting down infrastructure www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
UK's 'dismal' Eurovision song choices to be examined by MPs
It comes after the UK's entry Look Mum No Computer came last in May's final, scoring just one point.
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Darren Nicholls @mwrdarren.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Gotta love Mike Batt! 🤣👍
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Ned Hartley @nedhartley.com · 17h
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Talking Pictures TV @talkingpicturestv.bsky.social · 16h
Our brew and biscuits matinee is Carol Reed's noir masterpiece! THE THIRD MAN (1949) 3:20pm #JosephCotten #OrsonWelles #AlindaValli classic film noir thriller #TPTVsubtitles
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Pissedoffpundit @pissedoffpundant.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
No shit🤔💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
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Xela Hart @xelahart.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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Mark Freedman @markfreed.bsky.social · 20h
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David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 20h
JUST LEARNED THAT ARTHUR IN THE CARS THAT ATE PARIS IS NAPOLEON IN BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE. Terry Camilleri!
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 18h
The joke’s on us if he gets the agility and volume containment powers of a super jug
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Luke Turner @luketurner.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Slaven Bilić, livid at being sacked from the Bad Seeds, watches the tour bus disappear down the motorway
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Stevie Chick @steviechick.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This Only Fools reboot’s a bit dark
James Acaster and Amol Rajan in coffins
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I LOVED Valley of the Dinosaurs so, so much. The dinghy! The whirlpool! All of it.
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Joel @itsjoels.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
This is a lovely record and you know it.
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
…Or, y’know, not at all.
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fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm half-British and half-Thai. A random right-winger verbally racially abused me in the street for no reason at all. That same man was in my A&E ward a couple of days later due to a cardiac arrest. I was the doctor who saved him. There's a moral in that story somewhere.
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ballpoint pen, watercolor, colored pencil, a little crayon, and charcoal pencil. 

Our guy pulls up deep in the forest on his 2-speed bike. He’s flanked by tall dark trees and his path is blocked by a massive spider. He lets the Big Fella know it’s on. “Big Fella,” he says. “I fixed my 2-speed. You still wanna race.” Reader, you know Big Fella wants in on that action. Next slide.Against a starry night sky we see silhouettes of Big Fella and our man racing down a hill. It’s unclear in the drawing who will win but Big Fella is likely about to pull away.
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John Rain🥇 @johnrain.co.uk · 01/10/2026
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Theres Something About Mary Cameron Diaz
Alt: Theres Something About Mary, Cameron Diaz’s hair is sticking up.
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Harry Taylor @harrytaylor.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Coventry Market confirmed as getting £1.5m in funding gives a good excuse to share this Harry Hill clip about it. youtu.be/pMh-i31VZCE?...
youtu.be
Harry Hill's Alien Fun Capsule | Coventry Market | ITV
YouTube video by ITV
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
What do you fucking think?
Washington Post story:
This loaf of bread costs £45. Is it worth it?
Picture of some hipster fuck in a bandana making bread.
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WHAT A FUCKING RECORD @whatafuckingrecord.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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ORBITAL ORBITAL
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Glauber Gleidson Peres @glaubergperes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
@worldsofdrwho.bsky.social Dr Who' song theme by Sing Sound System on Facebook Link: www.facebook.com/share/r/14jS...
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Launch a beer called That Cunt James Watt Has Gone. Underline your commitment you cowards.
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Sir Basil @sirbasil.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Two Tear policing
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Fun fact: if you post a cropped picture of Trump’s neck, Bluesky’s AI thinks it’s a minge and asks if you’re sure you want to post it, and then, are you really sure? #DonaldHasANeckMinge
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Stwooooooooooart Laidler @stuartlaidler.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
It’s been suggested that they were dogging. I think we can all agree that this would be the funniest outcome.
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If they’re bailed, no one thinks they’re actual terrorists, right?
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Kimberley Johnson @kimberleyjohnson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
But I need to smile more.
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It's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
*blackadder theme* His head is bigger than a fence He breathes, and everything gets warmer His urge to trample represents A nation's nuclear war trauma Godzilla! Godzilla! The scourge of beast and man! Godzilla! Godzilla! He's flattening Japan!
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Miaganga @miaganga.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Late stage capitalism. Alien archeologists won’t believe this shit.
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Denmark is trolling Trump.
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Seth Masket @smotus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Interviewing the inventor of napalm about his hats
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Spooky Snigdha @snig.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Pannick on the streets of Manchester.
GUILTY

NOW CALL THE LAWYER

PANNICK STATIONS

City fear relegation and titles being wiped with fate in hands of hotshot KC

by KEITH WEBSTER and JAMIE GARDNER MANCHESTER CITY will use a £5,000-an-hour lawyer to try to avoid the harsh-est punishment in football history.

Lord Pannick KC (inset) will lead City's legal fight after reports they have been found guilty of 114 breaches of Premier League financial rules.

Pannick, whose fees are reported to be ESk an hour, has already proved his worth to City by helping overturn their two-year European ban in 2020,

But this promises to be a far bigger battle, with the club fac ing a fight that could drag on for years. Multiple reports claimDavid Pannick KC on the streets of London
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Its rider’s name was Death... @kittyonunicorn.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
There wasn’t even a fucking story.
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Andreas🌻🇨🇿🍉 @mdcccxcii.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
@actualnames.bsky.social en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jizz_Ho...
en.wikipedia.org
Jizz Hornkamp - Wikipedia
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
@iandunt.bsky.social @dorianlynskey.bsky.social Had never heard of this being a thing until this week, now I’m seeing it a second time. Of course it isn’t. Maths, cause & effect, and unintended consequences. It isn’t fucking psychohistory.
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
B&Q having quite the merchandising strategy: bird shit all over their lighting display. Really shows it off. It looks like it’s been there a while. You can poo it, when you B&Q it.
Some modern lighting options in Basildon B&Q, all covered in bird shit.
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Sara Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
He imposed Shania Law
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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
#TBT to this from 2012 in honour of Michael Gove starring as an invasion-battling leader in Sky's new show The Wargame. If you don't know what or who this comic is about... just count yourself lucky and scroll on, no worries.
[Opening scene is WESTMINSTER, LONDON. Over Downing Street a huge ALIEN SPACECRAFT hovers, silent, still, filling the whole sky a la Independence Day]. 

[Cut to INSIDE 10 DOWNING STREET. The (then) prime Minister DAVID CAMERON is looking out of his office window at the ship.]

VOICE FROM OFF-SCENE, BEHIND CAMERON:
Prime Minister…

CAMERON [addressing the person behind him, still keeping his eyes fixed ahead in dread at the spaceship]:
Yes?

[We see the speaker is MICHAEL GOVE, then Education Secretary]:

GOVE:
Let me do it.

CAMERON:
For God's sake, Michael, you're the Education Secretary! You've never flown a fighter plane in your life!

GOVE:
But I know I could do it, David. I could fly a fighter plane into the big space- ship...

...and shoot all the aliens.

CAMERON:
But you have no military training!

GOVE:
David

I haven't told you this, but...

I used to be a journalist. For The Times.

[Cameron reacts, turning to look at Gove with awe and respect, as if only now truly seeing him for the first time]. 

GOVE:
I wrote two articles about planes, David.

I've got strong opinions about aliens.

I know I can do this job.

[Cut to a title card panel]:

AND SO:

[Then cut again to Cameron on the roof of Number 10, watching a Michael Gove pilot a fighter jet up towards the spacecraft, and then completely miss it, careering towards Earth, as Cameron buries his face in his hands].

[Ends]
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Casmilus @casmilus.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
You may disdain this man's religious beliefs, but you can't deny that his call for the abolition of Sunday newspapers has been vindicated by History.
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Brendan Nyhan @brendannyhan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
One of humanity's greatest heroes
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ceej @ceej.online · 25/09/2026
Be serious. Bert and Ernie are not “in love.” Maybe they used to be, once
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David Cake will not be changing his name for Halloween 🎃 @davecakes.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Brian Clough leading out Leeds United at Wembley with the words “you can throw all your medals in the bin, because you won them by cheating
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
City have fucked around, found out and taken quite the smack down on charges upheld. Now, they must prepare for punishment:
static.klipy.com
Rhea Ripley Smackdown
Alt: Rhea Ripley in WWE has taken quite the Smackdown, and now, out of the ring she has picked herself up to the point where she is face down, arse in the air.
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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Have they docked Everton six points yet?
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Dave Rudden @daveruddenwrites.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My five year old has the soul of Orson Welles. We were outside school and he 'put a kiss in my pocket for later.' Extremely touched by this, I gave him two back. He dug out the second one, THEATRICALLY CRUSHED IT IN HIS FIST and said 'one is enough.'
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Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Happy birthday, Mark Hamill! 75 today.
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