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TurtleSquared

@turtlesquared.bsky.social
143 followers 269 following 191 posts

She/They. HRT: 01/04/25 A fork and spoon operator in sector 7G. Can be occasionally found in the backseat of a Tomcat. I like the planes but not necessarily what we do with 'em.

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worm @rfksbrainworm.bsky.social · 19h
Pete Hegseth with the "Federal Network" logo and "Would you like to know more?" from Starship Troopers
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Kumail Nanjiani @kumail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
AI will never be able to make art. Thanks.
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Juni! 🥰 @literallyjustadog.online · 01/10/2026
clocking in for another long day at the missing my girlfriend factory
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Kris Wilson @kriswilson.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 26/08/2026
[A green frog on a black background.]
"YOU WOULD REPOST A FROG"
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Simplify your life by hibernating from now until spring
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Worf Email @worfemail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
All crew, I do not know where the rumors came from of a gagh truck on every corner. I do not know any food vendors. Stop asking me. Worf
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mothra stewart @gorl.gay · 28/09/2026
the real housewives of USS enterprise (NCC-1701-D) im sorry
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JBdubs: Hell Edition @jaybdoubleyou.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Sasha Green @overly.gay · 28/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Futurama: Professor Farnsworth - To Shreds You Say
Alt: Futurama: Professor Farnsworth on the phone saying "To Shreds You Say"
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
the medical profession could discover entire new ligaments by putting me at corner for a series in an nfl game. line me up to guard jaylen waddle and i'd shred a forbidden ligament that connects your knee to one of your teeth
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"Stumpus Unwell" @philipmarks87.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I ain't got nooo Constipation Cuz I try and I try and I try and I buy I buy Pepto I buy Pepto No no no
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Olivia ExtraLongsocks Ი︵𐑼 🥜🐿️🧦 @extralongsocks.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Why not today!
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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
tech bro is short for technically broken
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
When you think of it, artificial intelligence is ableist and harmful bullshit which never should have been invented and any proper Marxist movement should seek to abolish it.
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
@alydixonisOK

doctor at my check up asked me if i had “any feelings of depression or anxiety” and i said “don’t we all” and she said “no” lol
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Kara Nelson @karaboo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It me I'm the girlfriend.
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Canadians are so nice 🥹
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Interesting exchange I woke up to:
From [redacted, red]

Hi [redacted, blue],

Thank you for your purchase with the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra! We noticed that your address is outside of Manitoba, so we want to make sure you intended to book tickets here in Winnipeg.

(The order summary is included in the email, to summarize, its 2 tickets for a show to see the WSO perform a bunch of star trk music for the 60th anniversary + Q will be there because of course he will be.)

Please reply to this email to confirm that this was your intended purchase and we will look forward to seeing you! If we don't hear back from you by Sep 29th, your purchase will be refunded.From [blue]

Hi [red]

Yes, I did in-fact mean to purchase these tickets in Winnipeg. I will be visiting my girlfriend, who lives there, around this time and figured this show would be pretty fun given we're both fans of Star Trek.

- [blue]From [red],

Hi [blue]

Thank you for confirming these with us. We hope you and your girlfriend enjoy the performance, and you enjoy your time in Winnipeg. 

Live long and prosper,
[Red]
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Coyote vs. LinkedIn @knabewolf.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
September, but I lost my 45 adapter
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Steeeve Duffy @stevenduffysstuffy.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
How I’ve Been Pronouncing It (Feat. Foghorn Leghorn, my… roommate?)
Comic. I’m at my desk, leaning over to the doorway, saying “Hey! Foghorn! Foghorn Leghorn! Get in here!”
Foghorn Leghorn is walking past the doorway, “Boy, I tell ya, I tell ya, not so loud, boy. What, I say, I say, what d’ya want?”
Next panel, I’m gesturing to my computer. “How do I find that really good manga you recommended? It’s an anime now? I keep getting Halloween costumes.” Foghorn leans over my chair, “well, boy, I say, I say, you ain’t typin the entire title.”
Last panel, I turn around- “you said ‘witch hat.’ Foghorn gets in my face- “open your ears, boy!! ‘Witch Hat Atelier, I tell ya! I tell ya ‘Atelier,’ I tell ya’”
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 21/09/2026
upgrade to premium for an ad-free experience, now with ads
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Minnesotan Kaiju @whisperingpines.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
I couldn't share this without context any other way enjoy
A photo of a bunch of cops next to that donut shop with a big donut on top of it in LA somewhere. 

Underneath it I say what grass political commentators like yourself don't seem to understand as much like a structure in red alert, the cops are able to drop power from the donut to boost their stats while in close proximity"
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Nathan Goldwag @goldwagnathan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Hasan Piker is an idiot and a provocateur with a pretty loose grasp of history, but I am finding the endless cycles of performative outrage at not unconditionally endorsing Eisenhower's foreign policy to be wearing thin.
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alex 🐀 @tinysnekcomics.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
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Worf Email @worfemail.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
All crew, Thank you for subscribing to the Enterprise Security newsletter. There have been no security breaches this week. Worf
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Nome @nome.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Flips exhausted, we have decided we are baby.
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
same
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Kara Nelson @karaboo.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Probably a bit of both with current me.
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feef @feefal.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Inspired by a recent interaction
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burn it all down @russbengtson.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
*suspicious lobster wife* where did you get that shrimp *still confused lobster* you're never gonna believe this
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gwen 🌶️👹 @gwenpepperoni.myatproto.social · 17/09/2026
his full name is Heletor Skeletor
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I keep seeing videos of a guy who catches crabs and lobsters, cracks all the barnacles off them, puts a shrimp in their claws and throws them back. can you imagine. abducted by aliens but they just give you a spa day and hand you two hot dogs and let you go
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Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Good writing in my view - while some commentary on here has framed Sheeran's justification as a demonstration of the hollowness of "neutrality", as a professional moral philosopher it is also what we in the business refer to as a "lie" and it may be helpful to refer to it as such
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 16/09/2026
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Nome @nome.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
AND IT'S CHEER UP ME LADS LET YOUR HEARTS NEVER FAIL
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Nome @nome.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I do not understand the folks furious at trans people for responding in anguish when the party that they've been told would protect them treats their existence as negotiable. I do not understand thinking trans folks have political power and responsibility where candidates have none.
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🌒💀 evelynn 💀🌘 @ladyartaud.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
this is my biggest pet peeve with the way the Internet has evolved. under no circumstances do I want to watch a video about your product, opinion, or recipe. I read like 3x faster than you can talk. video is such an inefficient form of learning & the switch to video primacy annoys me so much
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Scare-ah Colonthree @sarah.northsky.social · 14/09/2026
Whoa black Betty
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𝕸𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖞𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖑𝖑𝖑: 𝕾𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕲𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍 @mollyfied.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
explaining a color palette to trans women: imagine a 5 day bruise paired with warm faded rope ligatures and some bright bite mark accents
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Abra / Jessica Conwell, Carmella Creeper's Gender Doula🏳️‍⚧️ 🇲🇽🌼 @pairofclaws.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Whole genre of person out there making "I fumbled a baddie" their entire identity and feeling righteous about it.
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Send my love to Josephine, if you are willing and able, as I'm now suspicious that my last letters were intercepted by the enemy. Honourably, Phineas J. Thompson, 2nd Cav
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
"We just broke siege and escaped with our lives a fortnight ago. We've been on the run, and in hiding, ever since. Are our movements so utterly predictable that not only do you know where we are, but find it necessary to inform me of health status of these 'MILFs?' Do respond at once.
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
"I am unfamiliar with such a term as 'MILF.' And, even so, why are they above their ambient temperature. Do they have the vapors? Should I enclose money for a doctor? Do respond with the utmost urgency in this matter. Additionally, you speak of these MILFs as being 'in my area.' How can this be so?"
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Gonna start replying to those discord scams like I'm responding to a letter in the 1800's in a ken burns documentary: "Dearest _xanthym771_, I have just received your correspondence and it has me directly puzzled. I simply do not know what you mean by 'hot MILFS in my area.'"
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Matt Bors @mattbors.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
It was exactly ten years ago today, on my 33rd birthday, that I posted this comic online.
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TurtleSquared @turtlesquared.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Thats one heccin' chonker right there
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‎ @handle.invalid · 10/11/2024
Meeting new people is always hard when you have brain frog
A four-panel comic strip about social anxiety.

Panel 1: A person with brown hair and glasses asks another person, "So, tell me about yourself!" The second person, with long brown hair, smiles and says, "Sure! I uhh, um, well I..."

Panel 2: The first person is still smiling expectantly. The second person is blushing and sweating, thinking, "uhhhh."

Panel 3: The first person is now sweating and looking unsure, thinking, "I guess I uh..." with a question mark.

Panel 4: The second person is shown in profile. Their brain is visible, and there's a large frog sitting inside, looking panicked. The person says, "uhhhh."

@flotsamm is written below the second panel.
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Swedens Softest Kitty @chizita.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
You would repost a frog

a picture of a frog
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