Reposted by trueparallelsleon @leyawn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026the year is 2065. across a barren wasteland, a gang of marauders are riding war buggies. hooting and hollering, they chase down the last remaining people on earth who have not heard “choosin’ texas” by ella langley 546134
Reposted by trueparallelsBill @stillbill.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Sad and pathetic how many Democrats are breaking on a civil rights issue. You'll drown us all trying to accommodate this shit. We all deserve better, and I mean this million times more for our trans siblings 041
Reposted by trueparallelsdudebrabroman.bsky.social @dudebrabroman.bsky.social · 12/08/2026A nation full of men just realized they’re not that much uglier than AOC’s ex 131
Reposted by trueparallelsdudebrabroman.bsky.social @dudebrabroman.bsky.social · 02/07/2026If refs aren’t cops why they got body cams 042
Reposted by trueparallelsJohn Muller @johnspacemuller.com · 15/06/2026Feels like marketing departments have a pretty wild idea of how much Americans care about David Beckham in 2026 91648
Reposted by trueparallelsBen Wright @benwright.bsky.social · 31/05/2026We gotta get better technology. 1734042
Reposted by trueparallelsThe Malcontents™ @malcontent.fun · 29/04/2026The Malcontents™ and the Pac-12 are both rising from the dead... to mixed results stickyglove.substack.com/p/smokin-on-...stickyglove.substack.comSmokin' on that 12 PacTranslating the rebrand into Normal Words 043
Reposted by trueparallelsTiotal Football @tiotalfootball.bsky.social · 02/03/2026You know the feeling when you go from watching MLS to Champions League and you can see it immediately in the speed and touch? That’s what it’s like for Atlanta United fans to watch other MLS games, and has been for 5 years. 0262
Reposted by trueparallelsLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 29/09/2025It does not matter who the Super Bowl act turned out to be they were always going to have to make it a whole thing because these people cannot take one single pitch. Hacking at one hop garbage in the dirt every day of their lives. 1449534
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 26/12/2025@surber.bsky.social Donovan McNabb DESTROYED us in the Gator Bowl 120
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 30/11/2025Let's draw a distinction between unsavory types looking out for their money and the Brian Kelly/DJ Durkin wing of killing people. 010
Reposted by trueparallelsBUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 13/10/2025When I’m asked to do more than two things a day 636423
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 09/10/2025This post is personally attacking me 👴 Also, I feel like knowing what TV Land is might out you as an Old Millennial as well. 000
Reposted by trueparallelsMatt Negrin still host of Hardball on MSNBC @mattnegrin.bsky.social · 26/09/2025Who called it inbox zero and not the mail loneliness crisis 322636
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 15/09/2025Kinda annoyed with the Fullcast After Dark doing the most Fullcast thing possible and not actually having its hosts on the show. Secondary annoyance for platforming Jane Coaston. 010
Reposted by trueparallelsadam @heyimadam.bsky.social · 07/09/2025If you say bad shit about Michigan you’re saying bad shit about working class people, black people, same sex couples with kids, and college football caring people, and none of my people can find the end zone. 194
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 06/09/2025Honestly, this best part of this to me is that it's being held up by a bottle of Old Forester and a Turtlebox 040
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 01/09/2025Fuck Luis Suarez forever. Just the absolute worst. 010
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/08/2025I sincerely hope there is a special circle in hell for anyone involved with the creation of a Microsoft account. 000
Reposted by trueparallelsCameron Lauder @unarmedoracle.bsky.social · 09/08/2025'I used ai to reveal what is on the other side of the tunnel the roadrunner painted on the wall' 321424
Reposted by trueparallelswarrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 23/07/2025Nice try but this post doesn’t apply to my specific situation. You should have posted something else 023915
Reposted by trueparallelswarrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 15/07/2025Oh grow up. There’s more to politics than your survival. For instance, my comfort 293649578
Reposted by trueparallelsone dozen bats at a keyboard @panasonicdx4500.bsky.social · 27/04/2025What an incredible day for the guy from your freshman floor in college who carried around a copy of Infinite Jest everywhere he went the entire first semester. 4162
Reposted by trueparallelsAmanda Mull @amandamull.bsky.social · 25/04/2025This is the type of thing that poorly run private companies are doing on a smaller scale constantly and a great example of why “we gotta run government like a business” is a grade-A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy thinks 5942391263
Reposted by trueparallelsRobby Kalland @rkalland.bsky.social · 09/04/2025NEW #PUNTCAST: The Oops All Guests! Masters Preview with @tomfornelli.bsky.social and @chippatterson.bsky.social on on the hostless Puntcast. We pick winners, talk tree removal and wind patterns, and come up with a three-balls method guaranteed* to make you money open.spotify.com/episode/6f0b...open.spotify.comThe Puntcast: Oops All Guests! Masters PreviewThe Puntcast · Episode 353
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/03/2025My hot take is that people complaining about the time change are dorks 000
Reposted by trueparallelsMr Targeted Harassment @jarjarfan69.bsky.social · 07/03/2025"Let me, a middle-aged man onto your campus to argue with college kids, or I will tell the president you were mean to me," is genuinely one of the most bitch-made things I've ever heard in my life. 1137067
Reposted by trueparallelscait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 08/03/2025i'll call Chuck Schumer a dipshit whenever i want and you can't stop me 36114173
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 06/03/2025@pocketcasts.com Any idea why my Up Next queue would have just got blown away now by a bunch of old stuff? I only use one device for it. 200
Reposted by trueparallelsBackheeled @backheeled.com · 24/02/2025𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠: MLS Winners and Losers ⬆️⬇️ Every week, @joeclowery.bsky.social dives into the standout performances and trends from around MLS. From San Diego FC to the Chicago Fire, here's who's climbing (and who's crashing) after opening weekend ⤵️ www.backheeled.com/mls-winners-...backheeled.comMLS Winners and Losers: San Diego FC's debut, Atlanta United’s new attack, Gregg Berhalter & moreThe new kids on the block played their first game, transfers paid dividends, buidling out of the back went wrong, and more. 0217
Reposted by trueparallelsMLS Analytics @mlsstat.bsky.social · 23/02/2025Atlanta United FC: 3 (1.44 xG) vs CF Montréal: 2 (2.4 xG) #ATLvMTL | #ATLUTD | #CFMTL | #MLS | 🤖⚽ 181
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 22/02/2025media.tenor.coma man wearing a shirt that says american family insurance on itALT: a man wearing a shirt that says american family insurance on it 000
Reposted by trueparallelsAmerican Soccer Analysis @americansocceranalysis.com · 20/02/2025The patreon discord has had more messages in the last 10 minutes in reaction to a GAM Futures market than the entirety of the MLS Cup Final 0262
Reposted by trueparallelsBUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Bond your target is the ex-wife of a billionaire who’s making him look bad by actually giving her money away to charity 671174
Reposted by trueparallelsJeremiah Oshan @jeremiah.sounderatheart.com · 17/02/2025The people who claim to be worried about protecting kids are weirdly aggressive about protecting sex criminals. 314338
Reposted by trueparallelsBrian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 15/02/2025Dramatically yanking the tarps off my guillotine collection 2884786
Reposted by trueparallelsPeter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 13/02/2025the idea that these tech guys are opposed to "government waste" is so completely fucking ridiculous. they feast on government waste. DOD budgets are a bloated mess. the pentagon has failed 7 straight audits. the big beneficiaries are tech companies providing defense services. 5762411166
Reposted by trueparallelsBill Connelly @espnbillc.bsky.social · 12/02/2025I took a pause from CFB roster updates to ask an age-old question: Is MLS good? The answer may surprise you! (Or maybe it won't, hell if I know.) www.espn.com/soccer/insid...espn.comHow good is MLS compared to Premier League, LigaMX, other top global leagues?As MLS prepares to kick off its 30th season, how good is the league compared to its peers? We attempt to answer this tricky question. 3203
Reposted by trueparallelsthe hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 11/02/2025Everything the government spends money on is wasteful except the stuff that enriches me personally 249752
Reposted by trueparallelsMatthew Doyle @mattdoyle.bsky.social · 11/02/2025ASA season previews are here! Another year of trying to create MLS sickos officially begins! 1563
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/02/2025@josephlamagna.bsky.social Behind on the newsletter, but thinking about the Spieth/sponsor exemption thing from Pebble. I don't think the exemptions will ever go away, but maybe there's a way to thread the needle with a sliding scale for pts. No pts below a certain finish for sig events? 🤷♂️ 110
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 30/01/2025STEPS INTO NFL TERRITORY* * for maybe two or three Sundays in total** ** with start times that are staggered from the 8:30 ET NFL kickoff anyway Could have used all that reporting time spent looking up NFL ratings to look at the MLS schedule. 011
Reposted by trueparallelsRyan Broderick @ryanhatesthis.bsky.social · 29/01/2025This is the difference between Trump 1 and Trump 2. First time around, all his cronies were named stuff like Joey Macaroni and wanted to commit tax fraud and go on Dancing With The Stars. This time, they have names like John Hitlerfuhrer and have spent the last 15 years blogging about phrenology. 3647831308
Reposted by trueparallelsBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 27/01/2025I've created a calculator that gives you the right answer 80% of the time and I believe it will change the world 278141711466
Reposted by trueparallelsThe “check engine” light on your dashboard @aklingus.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Here I am, a factory worker enjoying his lunch in the North End of Boston on January 15, 1919. I’ve survived the influenza pandemic, I’m feeling good about life, and I’ve never been more confident I will not be swallowed up by a flood of liquid sugarcane extract 805052716