Sign in

trueparallels

@trueparallels.bsky.social
154 followers 320 following 115 posts

slightest inconvenience and I'm walking straight into the ocean

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by trueparallels
leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the year is 2065. across a barren wasteland, a gang of marauders are riding war buggies. hooting and hollering, they chase down the last remaining people on earth who have not heard “choosin’ texas” by ella langley
546134
Reposted by trueparallels
Bill @stillbill.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Sad and pathetic how many Democrats are breaking on a civil rights issue. You'll drown us all trying to accommodate this shit. We all deserve better, and I mean this million times more for our trans siblings
041
Reposted by trueparallels
dudebrabroman.bsky.social @dudebrabroman.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
A nation full of men just realized they’re not that much uglier than AOC’s ex
131
Reposted by trueparallels
dudebrabroman.bsky.social @dudebrabroman.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
If refs aren’t cops why they got body cams
042
Reposted by trueparallels
John Muller @johnspacemuller.com · 15/06/2026
Feels like marketing departments have a pretty wild idea of how much Americans care about David Beckham in 2026
91648
Reposted by trueparallels
Ben Wright @benwright.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
We gotta get better technology.
1734042
Reposted by trueparallels
The Malcontents™ @malcontent.fun · 29/04/2026
The Malcontents™ and the Pac-12 are both rising from the dead... to mixed results stickyglove.substack.com/p/smokin-on-...
stickyglove.substack.com
Smokin' on that 12 Pac
Translating the rebrand into Normal Words
043
Reposted by trueparallels
Tiotal Football @tiotalfootball.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
You know the feeling when you go from watching MLS to Champions League and you can see it immediately in the speed and touch? That’s what it’s like for Atlanta United fans to watch other MLS games, and has been for 5 years.
0262
Reposted by trueparallels
Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
It does not matter who the Super Bowl act turned out to be they were always going to have to make it a whole thing because these people cannot take one single pitch. Hacking at one hop garbage in the dirt every day of their lives.
1449534
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
@surber.bsky.social Donovan McNabb DESTROYED us in the Gator Bowl
120
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Let's draw a distinction between unsavory types looking out for their money and the Brian Kelly/DJ Durkin wing of killing people.
010
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
😱😱😱
020
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
082
Reposted by trueparallels
BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
When I’m asked to do more than two things a day
Charlie screaming
636423
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
This post is personally attacking me 👴 Also, I feel like knowing what TV Land is might out you as an Old Millennial as well.
000
Reposted by trueparallels
Matt Negrin still host of Hardball on MSNBC @mattnegrin.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Who called it inbox zero and not the mail loneliness crisis
322636
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Kinda annoyed with the Fullcast After Dark doing the most Fullcast thing possible and not actually having its hosts on the show. Secondary annoyance for platforming Jane Coaston.
010
Reposted by trueparallels
adam @heyimadam.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
If you say bad shit about Michigan you’re saying bad shit about working class people, black people, same sex couples with kids, and college football caring people, and none of my people can find the end zone.
194
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 06/09/2025
Honestly, this best part of this to me is that it's being held up by a bottle of Old Forester and a Turtlebox
040
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
Fuck Luis Suarez forever. Just the absolute worst.
010
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
Yet another reason this guy belongs in jail
020
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/08/2025
I sincerely hope there is a special circle in hell for anyone involved with the creation of a Microsoft account.
000
Reposted by trueparallels
Cameron Lauder @unarmedoracle.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
'I used ai to reveal what is on the other side of the tunnel the roadrunner painted on the wall'
321424
Reposted by trueparallels
warrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Nice try but this post doesn’t apply to my specific situation. You should have posted something else
023915
Reposted by trueparallels
warrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
Oh grow up. There’s more to politics than your survival. For instance, my comfort
293649578
Reposted by trueparallels
one dozen bats at a keyboard @panasonicdx4500.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
What an incredible day for the guy from your freshman floor in college who carried around a copy of Infinite Jest everywhere he went the entire first semester.
4162
Reposted by trueparallels
Amanda Mull @amandamull.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
This is the type of thing that poorly run private companies are doing on a smaller scale constantly and a great example of why “we gotta run government like a business” is a grade-A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy thinks
5942391263
Reposted by trueparallels
Robby Kalland @rkalland.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
NEW #PUNTCAST: The Oops All Guests! Masters Preview with @tomfornelli.bsky.social and @chippatterson.bsky.social on on the hostless Puntcast. We pick winners, talk tree removal and wind patterns, and come up with a three-balls method guaranteed* to make you money open.spotify.com/episode/6f0b...
open.spotify.com
The Puntcast: Oops All Guests! Masters Preview
The Puntcast · Episode
353
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
My hot take is that people complaining about the time change are dorks
000
Reposted by trueparallels
Mr Targeted Harassment @jarjarfan69.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
"Let me, a middle-aged man onto your campus to argue with college kids, or I will tell the president you were mean to me," is genuinely one of the most bitch-made things I've ever heard in my life.
1137067
Reposted by trueparallels
cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
i'll call Chuck Schumer a dipshit whenever i want and you can't stop me
36114173
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 06/03/2025
@pocketcasts.com Any idea why my Up Next queue would have just got blown away now by a bunch of old stuff? I only use one device for it.
200
Reposted by trueparallels
Backheeled @backheeled.com · 24/02/2025
𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠: MLS Winners and Losers ⬆️⬇️ Every week, @joeclowery.bsky.social dives into the standout performances and trends from around MLS. From San Diego FC to the Chicago Fire, here's who's climbing (and who's crashing) after opening weekend ⤵️ www.backheeled.com/mls-winners-...
backheeled.com
MLS Winners and Losers: San Diego FC's debut, Atlanta United’s new attack, Gregg Berhalter & more
The new kids on the block played their first game, transfers paid dividends, buidling out of the back went wrong, and more.
0217
Reposted by trueparallels
MLS Analytics @mlsstat.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Atlanta United FC: 3 (1.44 xG) vs CF Montréal: 2 (2.4 xG) #ATLvMTL | #ATLUTD | #CFMTL | #MLS | 🤖⚽
181
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
media.tenor.com
a man wearing a shirt that says american family insurance on it
ALT: a man wearing a shirt that says american family insurance on it
000
Reposted by trueparallels
American Soccer Analysis @americansocceranalysis.com · 20/02/2025
The patreon discord has had more messages in the last 10 minutes in reaction to a GAM Futures market than the entirety of the MLS Cup Final
0262
Reposted by trueparallels
Jeremy Stanley @jeremydstanley.com · 20/02/2025
#SKCvMIA
Tweet:

Mike F
@mikefossey
Check this shit out motherfucker I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
0347
Reposted by trueparallels
BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Bond your target is the ex-wife of a billionaire who’s making him look bad by actually giving her money away to charity
671174
Reposted by trueparallels
Jeremiah Oshan @jeremiah.sounderatheart.com · 17/02/2025
The people who claim to be worried about protecting kids are weirdly aggressive about protecting sex criminals.
314338
Reposted by trueparallels
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 15/02/2025
Dramatically yanking the tarps off my guillotine collection
2884786
Reposted by trueparallels
Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
the idea that these tech guys are opposed to "government waste" is so completely fucking ridiculous. they feast on government waste. DOD budgets are a bloated mess. the pentagon has failed 7 straight audits. the big beneficiaries are tech companies providing defense services.
5762411166
Reposted by trueparallels
Bill Connelly @espnbillc.bsky.social · 12/02/2025
I took a pause from CFB roster updates to ask an age-old question: Is MLS good? The answer may surprise you! (Or maybe it won't, hell if I know.) www.espn.com/soccer/insid...
espn.com
How good is MLS compared to Premier League, LigaMX, other top global leagues?
As MLS prepares to kick off its 30th season, how good is the league compared to its peers? We attempt to answer this tricky question.
3203
Reposted by trueparallels
the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
Everything the government spends money on is wasteful except the stuff that enriches me personally
249752
Reposted by trueparallels
Matthew Doyle @mattdoyle.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
ASA season previews are here! Another year of trying to create MLS sickos officially begins!
1563
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
@josephlamagna.bsky.social Behind on the newsletter, but thinking about the Spieth/sponsor exemption thing from Pebble. I don't think the exemptions will ever go away, but maybe there's a way to thread the needle with a sliding scale for pts. No pts below a certain finish for sig events? 🤷‍♂️
110
trueparallels @trueparallels.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
STEPS INTO NFL TERRITORY* * for maybe two or three Sundays in total** ** with start times that are staggered from the 8:30 ET NFL kickoff anyway Could have used all that reporting time spent looking up NFL ratings to look at the MLS schedule.
011
Reposted by trueparallels
Ryan Broderick @ryanhatesthis.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
This is the difference between Trump 1 and Trump 2. First time around, all his cronies were named stuff like Joey Macaroni and wanted to commit tax fraud and go on Dancing With The Stars. This time, they have names like John Hitlerfuhrer and have spent the last 15 years blogging about phrenology.
3647831308
Reposted by trueparallels
Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
I've created a calculator that gives you the right answer 80% of the time and I believe it will change the world
278141711466
Reposted by trueparallels
The “check engine” light on your dashboard @aklingus.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
Here I am, a factory worker enjoying his lunch in the North End of Boston on January 15, 1919. I’ve survived the influenza pandemic, I’m feeling good about life, and I’ve never been more confident I will not be swallowed up by a flood of liquid sugarcane extract
805052716