iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

I would never eat a woman out because that'd be cannibalism and cannibalism is wrong

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 29/03/2026

John Henry is the original speedrunner

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

Many hands make light work That is, unless you're talking about this barrel of severed hands I need to move in which case, many hands makes more work

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

Egging someone's house but with balut eggs so they know it's personal

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

I'm just saying that if you have a public dog wedding for your dog, you are required to also have a public dog funeral

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

Trying to get these coward scientists to answer why people's breath fogs up in the cold but their farts don't

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

The ever present threat of bad sex hangs over our heads much like the cock of Damocles

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

the devil on my shoulder telling me to go ahead and respond to that stupid person

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Waiting for the inevitable guy who says he can't wear condoms because he's afraid of microplastics

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 29/12/2025

Okay, so, I'm just saying it because it needs to be said But technically, the photos from Epstein's island are public domain

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

All these people are putting "sapiosexual" on their profiles yet no one has tried having sex with my brain yet. Interesting

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

I love that we say people are being extra by "beating a dead horse" as though beating a live horse is a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to do

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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 24/10/2025

No. ~me, being concise

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 23/10/2025

My Friend: *talking about a horrible life experience they just went through and are still dealing with* Me: *waiting for them to stop talking so I can bring up this cool new pen I got*

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

fuck punctuation this isnt a class

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Dread Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

why does ancient cave art get so much attention it’s so basic

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

Flash mobs but two million people go completely limp wherever

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence

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ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

How hard do I have to shake the little glowing doom rectangle before dopamine comes out?

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

Stop your incessant silence.

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No Trick or Treat Pony @hiddenpinky.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

I'd rather see The Vulva Monologues than The Vagina Monologues. The latter is too deep.

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

In case y'all missed it, here is the unedited photo of the Texas National Guard being deployed into Chicago

Famous recent photo of the Texas National Guard being deployed into Chicago, Illinois photoshopped to include famous McDonald's mascot Grimace

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 02/10/2025

I caught myself earlier with a fork dangerously close to my eye. Later, I found my eyeliner in the silverware drawer.

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yoyo @deadgirlyoyo.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

and suddenly, it's cry o'clock

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

Hopping onto the bandwagon since I've already got a few of these

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

My Chess Instructor *taking my rook*: You see, the trick is predicting all of your opponents moves in advance Me *silently gripping the mallet hidden behind my back*: Oh, is that so?

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teq @quilling.dev · 08/10/2025

I would die without coffee or maybe I would be okay

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

whenever in doubt, always hip thrust

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

If I die fighting in a flame war, do I get to go to Valhalla or do I have to die in one of those normal war things?

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

My Spouse: Now, make love to me like you used to Me: Poorly? My Spouse: Me: Poorly it is

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

A romantic thriller where two people meet and fall in love through passive-aggressive post-it notes

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

RIP to Genghis Khan. You would've loved the fleshlight

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

a spaghetti guitar you can play one chord once, make it count

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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

Calling my phone company to complain that my predictive text needs to wash its mouth out with soap

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

Speaking of behalf my fellow perverts here. Y'all really need to stop telling us to come to your "sex parties" when you really mean "gender reveal parties" It's highly disappointing

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

Detective: We've been run ragged trying to find the Dad Joke Killer but we've had no luck Me: I guess you could say you've hit a dead end, ehhh? Detective: *narrows eyes* Me: Ah shit

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Chief Georgia O' Keef @jumanjimachine.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

If you're thinking about arguing with strangers online, remember the words of my second grade playground fight prevention assembly: STOP! COOL OFF! THINK ABOUT IT! *Sick yo-yo tricks*

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

Strictly using my telepathy to beat you at charades

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 05/10/2025

So I'm not a big history buff but I can tell you exactly which founding fathers were bottoms

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 03/10/2025

Sorry for all the delays in my posts; I have to get each one approved by congress

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 30/09/2025

In all honesty, I've still been coming to terms that assless chaps are types of pants and not just gluteus-impaired men

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

ME: a guy at work broke his jaw and has to eat all his meals through a straw WIFE: wow that sucks ME: i know what a straw does linda

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Spork Lobotomy @spork-lobotomy.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

Me: I'm trying to cover up a murder My Spouse: First, you've gotta clean the crime scene and really put some elbow grease in. I like using bleach but I've heard vinegar also helps. You've also gotta get rid of the body. Make it hard to find Me: Awesome, thx Me: Wait

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