iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sock Holliday @sockholliday.bsky.social · 24/10/2025

You better start taking notes immediately before some documentarian shows up asking about your sister/brother/mother/coworker/teacher/boss/ex-lover/barber/mechanic/guyyouknewinhighschool20yearsago

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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 15/06/2025

My roommate saw me put more cheese onto a frozen pizza & it was like I unlocked something in him. I saw the wheels turning as he realized we don't have to settle for the default amount of cheese the pizza overlords offer us. What goes onto the frozen pizza is in our control. We have the power.

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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 25/01/2025

"Things might be tough but it's great for artists! They'll create more!" You might not believe me but going through a lifetime's worth of stress Every Single Week for years and years- is actually not the optimal set of circumstances that inspires artists to create

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 18/08/2025

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had it right

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 18/08/2025

*during sex* But did you ever say that stuff to anybody else before?

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

“I’VE BEEN KICKED OUT OF CLASSIER BARS THAN THIS,” I scream at my house

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 16/08/2025

It’s about time you stopped being a bystander and became a passerby.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

Never put off till tomorrow who you can put off today.

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

I hate when I order too large a portion of ribs that it tips my car over and my modern stone age family has to get back home on foot.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

Nothing brings my family together quite like a weak WiFi signal.

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Sock Holliday @sockholliday.bsky.social · 06/05/2025

Omg you guys my 25-year-old daughter just gave me her preliminary Christmas list and she is asking for 107 dolls what do I do?

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

heard my wife telling her friends that fire season comes earlier every year which is messed up cause her nickname for me is fire season

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

A pronoun referring to a specific thing previously mentioned, known, or understood. That.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

I wouldn't know where to start if someone presented me with a bag of dicks.

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

Witch from Hansel and Gretel: Hey guys, welcome to my cooking channel, be sure to smash that subscribe button *children’s voices at the door* ok! let’s get started

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Burt Jarvis @iamburtjarvis.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

Goodbye, Elmo. You…”red”…communist piece of sh*t!

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

sorry i yelled crouching tiger hidden dragon when you fell down the stairs

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

"How was your weekend?" Emotionally unstable. Yours?

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

"GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE" I yell as I bludgeon you to death with a baby

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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Oh, you go to the gym daily? That's nice. Sometimes I tell myself that stirring risotto makes for good arm muscles.

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Lisa @mslisam.bsky.social · 18/02/2025

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

Does this later-life crisis make me look younger?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

“Excuse me, waiter?” “Yes sir, is there a problem?” “I asked for my pasta al dente.” “Was it prepared incorrectly?” “I’m afraid it’s a little Chewie.”

Pasta arranged to form an image of Chewbacca.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 05/08/2023

I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” every time I leave my house.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

If you're mocking somebody without naming them and it's not me please add "Not you Jim." to your post. Thank you.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

“Find someone who…” Me: No.

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

a free range chicken is easy to spot cos of it's backpack & rugged little hiking boots

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

ME: wanna crack open a cold one MEDICAL EXAMINER: absolutely not

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

"I felt very productive today." "What did you do?" "Do?"

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 22/03/2025

[segways into mordor] hahahaaaa nobody expected this

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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

That awkward moment when the librarian realizes you checked out a book five years ago and still haven't returned it or paid the fine

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

[vulture after eating my corpse] wooo pretty drunk rn

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bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

me: *gesturing at the kids* we should probably have a talk about protection wife: they’re far too young to be talking birth control already me: I was thinking more along the lines of an exorcism

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

[2026] TODDLER: *lights cigarette* man these factory shifts are exhausting

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

2020: Keep your chin up. 2025: *chins

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

some people should come with a skip intro button

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

[shaking magic 8 ball] will i ever find my maracas?

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

when did putting on my underwear standing up become the closest I get to cheating death on a daily basis

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

Don't come crying to me when you're crying.

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bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

Mine is a very healthy diet incorporating as it does all the primary food groups including carbohydrates*, dairy**, protein***, fruit****, grains*****, and vegetables******. *fries **cheese ***bacon ****wine *****beer ******second helpings of fries

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

Trust no one, and keep your potatoes dry.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

Just saw a couple kissing passionately in public so I did the decent thing and pushed them through a shop window.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

There’s no imminent danger of Earth being swallowed by a supermassive black hole and that’s a shame.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

I came into this world screaming and I still haven't stopped.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

I can't believe you forgot me on your birthday.

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bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

How long after a tonsillectomy is it safe to give a blowjob? ~ asking for my wife (tonsils removed, August 2013)

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

Wife: [driving] can you grab my phone and check something for me Me: sure what's your passcode Wife: our anniversary Me: Wife: ANNIVERSARY Me: [sweating profusely]

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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 12/08/2023

"no rapping tonight" why? "you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing" ok [after one beer] uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy

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Mazzy @msnis.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

May St. Patrick bless us and help us drive our snakes into the sea (in their Cybertrucks) Amen

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