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shamblebot

@shamblebot.bsky.social
207 followers 192 following 1.1K posts

Perpetual idealist, hopeless snob

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Linda Holmes @lindaholmes.bsky.social · 7h
This is the thing I keep saying about the four D.C.s. 1. Cynical: the shorthand for dirty politics, see also “Beltway” 2. Hopeful/Poignant: Sorkin’s D.C., sometimes Capra’s 3. Postcard: The source of much of the nation’s iconography (memorials, White House, Mall) 4. City where people live/work
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 7h
People forget that J6 was successful. Everyone who participated was let out of jail and the guy who perpetrated it is President again. There were no consequences. They have plenty of incentive to do a much bigger and worse version.
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Country Universe @countryuniverse.net · 04/10/2026
Each time Dakota Johnson hosts SNL, there is one sketch that is a perfect use of her exact skills. Last time, it was the Please Don't Destroy roast ("Nepo Truce"). Last night, it was this.
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 8h
just found out I didn't get my dream job despite a verbal offer so if you need me I'm going to be at the bottom of a well
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 15h
Aries: Your enemies are buying a product today, Aries. Buy a product before it's too late Taurus: Pull up a comfy blanket, Taurus, it's time to purchase a product Gemini: Girl, get ready for a new product to enter your life Cancer: Take time today to ask your loved ones if they need a new product
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster
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Yoz Grahame @yoz.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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David Gerard @davidgerard.circumstances.run.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
henstomper

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore
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Sameer Ashar @sameer-ashar.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
This is my nephew, please forward to your networks, esp any University of Maryland students.
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It's easier to think that people are cutting off their family because of social contagion or viral therapy trends than it is to accept that families are very often places of pain and domination where escape is the only alternative to lifelong misery or death.
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Kendra, spooky version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I need a tattoo or a haircut or a lobotomy or a million dollars. Whichever gets to me first
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ceej @ceej.online · 04/10/2026
“how do we win back trump voters in 2026” we don’t. we create an environment where admitting to voting for trump is so socially embarrassing as to render them completely inert. you don’t “win back” trump voters. you demoralize them into staying home. you make it a dunce cap
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
so often the stupid personal essay de jure is a flagrant case of "that's an inside thought, mama. that's for your journal"
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Waschesalon Grammy Campaign Manager @reginageorgebush.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
A24 accidentally and unwillingly becoming one of the biggest entertainment conglomerates in America by being the only people who are aware that highbrow liberals spend more money than anyone else
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
@JFriedhoff

me at 13: wow i can't wait til we have immersive computers everywhere like star trek
me at 30: wow i can't wait until we destroy all computers like in dune
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Down Here For Your Soul @bombsfall.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It's OCD Awareness Month so if you have OCD remember to be aware of it at all times so you can finally solve it
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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
is the cure to male loneliness getting vaxxed?
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Pavel @spavel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Not to worry, I know a guy who will sell you some copper on the cheap
mastodon.social
Dan Gillmor (@dangillmor@mastodon.social)
A carpenter friend in California told me today that the price of copper has gone through the roof -- e.g. $100 for a short section of pipe. He said the data centers are hoovering up raw materials in s...
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Transphobes Can't Read @lordaslan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
gn
Repost this if trans people should have access to dark magic...
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I would die if being in a Real Movie made Tom Holland think "I need to get out of the MCU for real"
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Luke Ontario @coolhand.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Every time I see a serial killer tv show advertised I think of this
My dad used to work with Ted Bundy at the University of Utah and every Friday my dad would say, "See ya Monday-Bundy" and I can't imagine how much Ted actually thought about murdering him for
it.
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Bean Dad lost the MBMBAM theme song is my Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 02/10/2026
I Pushed My Luck, Reheated My Burrito An Extra 30 Seconds, and It Exploded All Over The Microwave. Here's Why That's A Lesson for Democrats
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Lætus @bajamothblast.vanadiel.network · 02/10/2024
now that it's october im legally allowed to post this
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 30/09/2026
If I had to pick a favorite kind of conflict? It’s gotta be internecine
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"2 college girls use vigilante justice to take down college rapists" would kill if it came out today, I'm happy for the actress who plays Mel on The Pitt but god what could have been
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
There's never been a better time to rewatch MTV's Sweet/Vicious, which was tragically cancelled after one season because it came out less than a year before the first MeToo story
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Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I wouldn't mind a second and longer and more thorough MeToo tbqh
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Thomas Ha @thomasha.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i should clarify, when i write people doing bad things, it's because i am bad. they are me. more importantly, when you read about those bad things, they also become you. that's how story works. in fact, you are going to think about murder before this skeet ends. how's that feel, sicko.
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ali alkhatib @ali-alkhatib.com · 30/09/2026
shutting down frat houses won't end rape culture, but it will disorganize a lot of rapists, and i think that's probably worth doing if only to destabilize what is apparently an ecology of organizations that functionally exist to rape women per the whole "purpose of a system is what it does" insight.
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jam @socialistboat.dad · 29/09/2026
😒 "Looping you in for visibility" 😏 "Sir, you're gonna want to see this"
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Mrs. Detective PikaBOO, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 29/09/2026
This is like a fucking SNL skit where studios keep making hockey shows instead of gay shows
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🌈Dr. Frizzle @swilua.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We can learn from our queer elders 🫶🏻
bisubites 4h
when my masc lesbian aunt died, women just kept coming, screaming, crying, and saying they were her wives. Eventually we just had to start telling them to join the others. They were all devastated to learn about each other. Except for one who came in, kissed her dead mouth and showed us all that they had matching tattoos. She actually won all the mourning wives over and they all agreed she was the wife. It was so weird.Did not expect more than a few people to see this but yes it really happened, yes it was insane

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bisubites 3h Author
They also ALL read love letters at the podium. It was painful and awkward but the final gift my aunt gave the familyfrom my mom

23h
How many crying wives were at
Aunt Chrissy's funeral
23h
I need a final count
I think 5 maybe 7 why

oisubites 3h
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And a couple girlfriends she was a popular and very liked lol
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
awoke this morning with a Vision
that diagram showing  the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
in the words of my friend Grace, arguing about who does and doesn't get to use the word "lesbian" is for people who aren't having lesbian sex
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David Evans @dkevans2.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Chris Hansen (interrogation voice): “it’s 2:30 in the morning, what am I supposed to make of this?” The Grinch (eyes to floor): “I shwear I’m only here for the Chrishmas preshents” Chris Hansen (narration voice): “with the Whoville PD waiting outside, our green suspect has been caught red handed.”
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 28/09/2026
this is legitimately very funny
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bkmacd @bkmacd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
gosh that's so sad, I can't imagine having a creature in your house that depends on you that you don't like! that's exactly a case where you need to rehome that dog, it deserves WAY better
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Goldstein (still not a pseudonym) @goldstein.latinsky.app · 28/09/2026
People always think I'm being a troll or insane when I bring up children's rights but I know my only sin is being correct too early.
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A lot of people say they want a dog when what they want is a cat
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Iphigenia V @iphigenia.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
We gotta start gatekeeping again. Normies weren't supposed to find out about shit like "Angine de Poitrine" or "Western Massachusetts Queer Culture". There's too much information accessible to too many people and you all can't be trusted.
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
A man points to himself and says "I'm bisexual". A giant hand from outside the panel comes down on the man with an eraser as the man shrieks "NO! NO!" The cartoonist holding the eraser says "ain't I a stinker?" a la Bugs Bunny in Duck Amuck.
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Siobhán @shibbi.me · 27/09/2026
I just got done assigning genders to each of my body parts, and boy are my arms
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Sara Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
He imposed Shania Law
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Poop outbreak linked to licking toilet brand
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shamblebot @shamblebot.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Bringing an iced coffee with 2 straws to a job interview and suggesting we “Lady and Tramp it” to the interviewer
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Gangly Bitch @gangly-bitch.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 25/09/2026
"china is charging their cars in less time than it takes you to fill up your F-150" is the kind of banal jingoism i always assumed would get us finally kicking it up a notch on serious infrastructure buildout but we were a lot more directly addicted to gasoline in addition to racism than i thought
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whet moser @whetmoser.com · 25/09/2026
i want nathan fielder to do undecided voter focus groups
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