Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 17/04/2026The Devil: hey man not sure what happened here but we're all out special places Me: listen pal I was given SEVERAL reservations over to course of my lifetime 051
Reposted by Sarcocrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 01/04/2026The worst part of this rainy weather is it gives the moon cloud cover while it hunts you. 18639
Reposted by Sarcoslop enjoyer @slop.guru · 05/04/2026drunk in the back of the carriage spilling mead everywhere 37014
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Pilot: hi sry due to gas prices this plane is crashing into a mountain 13516
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Revolutionary: hi sry due to gas prices this Molotov cocktail is now virgin 02714
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Vin Diesel: hi sry due to gas prices im only living 1/16 of a mile at a time 0215
Reposted by SarcoAstr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 07/01/2026Getting kids to do their homework is hard cause they’ll just be like “I know how magicians saw people in half” & then it’s like well shit—fuck subtraction—tell me everything you know 19934
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 05/01/2026Teach your child to swim, as someday they might be required to post through their tears. 214752
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 06/01/2026I just want everyone to know that you don't need drugs to vomit and scream at the same time. 713342
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 06/01/2026I don't know what it meant when I finally connected all the dots but it sure looked unlike I do visual story straightforwardly 06036
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 06/01/2026There should be an app that matches people who are down with people who want to kick them while they are 12410
Reposted by Sarcoj @dyke.bsky.social · 05/01/2026As far back as i can remember I always wanted to win a million dollars in a lawsuit. To me, winning a million dollars in a lawsuit was better than being President of the United States 06110
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 05/01/2026Optimistic enough to leave an aquarium outside for something to come over and live in, but super tasty optimistic enough for it to respect how I constantly monitor hope when I should induce vomiting 16639
Reposted by SarcoJulie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 05/01/2026The sweetest thing ever told to me was when a drunk said I'm a double vision. 06925
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 05/01/2026Opening old wounds to release some of this sewage water roiling through my veins. 18135
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 05/01/2026Salad is not for sad days. Melting the cheese that is already in your mouth with a kitchen torch is. 211441
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 06/01/2026Guy who only understands things in terms of Godzilla vs Mothra: okay but I need you to explain this to me like I'm Godzilla and you're Mothra 03411
Reposted by SarcoResident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 03/01/2026We've secretly replaced the Secretary of Defense with a drunken racist blogger. Let's see if anyone notices. 2133
Reposted by Sarco✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 04/01/2026it kinda feels like someone should do something 313921
Reposted by SarcoBKinDetroit @bkindetroit.bsky.social · 03/01/2026I have not set foot on the moon 292
Reposted by Sarcomore mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 03/01/2026wow amazing that america has already collected almost enough 9/11 Points to earn another 9/11 111757315
Reposted by Sarcotrick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 03/01/2026VPN stands for Very Paranoid Nerd you did not hear this from me 719245
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 02/01/2026After work I do not walk to my car, I slink in the parking garage and descend to its depths, never overground estimate me 29349
Reposted by SarcoAstr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 03/01/2026The only ppl getting raptured are the ones that left Britney Spears alone. 310734
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 03/01/2026You can try to suck it back in all you want, but the darkness leaking from your nostrils is now bigger than the whole of us. 411335
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Bombing other countries must feel like crack to an american president 12712
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 31/12/2025My nickname back in driving school was unofficial parking space because I'd get all huffy if someone else's car was in my thoughts even though they're public and undesignated 19851
Reposted by SarcoAstr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 31/12/2025& iiiiIIiiiiieeeeiiiIiii WILL ALWAYS LOoVE YOOOOOUUUUOUUU 🎶 15319
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 31/12/2025There is no next year, only Zuul. 728590
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Sitting here without my glasses on, micro-dosing the innocence before the fall. 111838
Reposted by SarcoEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 30/12/2025one mood away from getting a tattoo that says eyebrows on my forehead 16356117
Reposted by SarcoEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 30/12/2025If you wake me up and don't read my rights to me, I'm going to assume you don't have any either 522886
Reposted by SarcoRaquel Squelch @raquelsquelch.bsky.social · 30/12/2025I said manatee not matinee I see how they show up on time like long jokes when you're really ready to get it matinees don't so give me a manatee flexibility a floppy feel for words not a punctual punctuating perspective I peruse paradisiacal patterns beyond a frame while you call old films late 810648
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 30/12/2025Back in my tough love we had to fight the happy people into being happier by doing these suffering bits "I'm not suffering just because you are in fact I kinda like it" and then we'd be scarred strong for winter 26239
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Always keep a small piece of chalk in your pocket lest you run out of tums or fall down and die. 413254
Reposted by SarcoTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Learned all of the music and feelings you should have as a human being just from a television experience so now I know that I am a sad and complete kind of person, I'll take it because it's closing creditsable 07944
Reposted by SarcoEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 29/12/2025There are such serious divisive issues to be outraged by, but I think everyone needs to come together and fight the temperature changing 40 degrees in one day. We can all hate this equally, right? 21468110
Reposted by SarcoAstr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 29/12/2025The best thing about holdin on to broken shit is match makin new couples like broken lamp base this is your new baby pretty ceramic flower—she’s gonna cover your missing piece 03516
Reposted by SarcoAstr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 29/12/2025If you can’t call your doctor “Doc” then you needa get the fuck outta there. They’re gonna fuck your shit all up 26826
Reposted by Sarcochris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Blood is just the start of what I am capable of hemorrhaging. 323972
Sarco @sarco.bsky.social · 30/12/2025Hey so the best of us just called and they want you to know that it does not in fact happen to them 06618
Reposted by SarcoWendy @wendyb07.bsky.social · 28/12/2025fried onions on really anything, that is all 34716
Reposted by SarcoGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 28/12/2025Kids in the Hall had me "I'm crushing your head" at every person I saw as a kid 1015425
Reposted by SarcoJulie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 24/12/2025I run a business that retroactively provides jobs for people who need an alibi. 36124
