iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Benny Feldman @feldfrog.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

It’s funny how phones have made clock towers obsolete. Like now I can just google images of clock towers whenever I want

61261197

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Medieval guy listening to a proclamation: this could have been a tapestry

5968255

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

[wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent [me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now

141879

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

Got a 10x magnification mirror. This was an error. I do not need this much information about my face.

617648

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 31/07/2025

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation except for you.

060

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Pat Wahler @patwahlerauthor.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

Sooooo true!

041

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Pat Wahler @patwahlerauthor.bsky.social · 28/07/2025

So very rusted.

031

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

Me: I'm sorry. I never know what to do with my hands, especially when I'm nervous Driving instructor: *screaming intensifies

8329103

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

I think it’s so beautiful we let Nicolas Cage tell us all our stories now.

031

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

“Catapult? I think you mean trebuchet,” I say, as I am loaded into the trebuchet.

17722

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

[application to be a Chili’s restaurant manager] 1. describe your people leadership successes 2. outline your plan for budget adherence 3. are you willing to fistfight the TGI Friday’s manager in the Best Buy parking lot

49811

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

You can have your cake and everyone else's cake too if you barricade yourself in the kitchen before they arrive

923128

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

What do I have to do to make it in this industry??!!?! {I am explicitly told what I have to do} Okay but like besides that stuff

041

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

Tremendous Kevin, the fictional squirrel who I use as a scapegoat for my frequent acts of criminal mischief, has really crossed a line this time

211212

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

There are few acts more graceless than having to enter your login details using the arrow keys on a remote control. Just shambling about the screen like a pac-man ghost. Pathetic. We gave up quills for this.

414322

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Dee @figgled.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage i'm like yeah. me know

246188

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 08/04/2025

I used to be afraid of ghosts but then I found out they're not real so now I guess I'm afraid of the living Victorian child that stands at the foot of my bed screaming every night.

424557

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

The best part of any X-Men film is always this scene Magneto: [sternly but affectionately] Charles. Professor X: [affectionately but sternly] Eric.

151346301

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Fomo Simpson @haliphacks.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

Mike's Hard Tax Return

0310111

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

[walking in to store] wife: i don’t understand why just don’t do one big online order me: (shooting finger guns at the greeter) heyyyyyy greeter: (pretends to matrix dodge) heyyyyyy

06410

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

Hollywood thinks we want more superhero movies. But nay, the people yearn for stories about a mysterious circus that comes to town, bringing with it dire consequences for the townspeople and a profound journey of self discovery for the troubled protagonist.

051

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

Opening 6000 tabs on my old laptop until it gets so hot I can use it as a panini press

326354

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

Hi you're through to my voicemail, please do your best seagull impression after the tone and I'll only call you back if it's funny enough

712025

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 23/03/2025

My cat just phoned to say she's stuck in traffic but I'm pretty sure I could hear slot machines in the background

18810

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

I have my annual review today where I will dust off last year‘s goals because they were good goals. I didn’t get to them, but they were good goals.

16220

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 24/03/2025

My Brain: Me: My Brain: Me: My Brain: Tiiiiiiiiin roof. Rusted.

050

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

me: (talking out loud while i write in my diary) today was ok, i just wish i could have eaten more breadsticks waiter: *sighs* sir would you like more breadsticks

161992193

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

me: if z is the length of a slice and a is the area of the pie, then pi(zz)=a PhD advisor: this is what you’ve been working on for three and a half years?

232208436

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

She thought I was mad, but I was just 52. That’s what we look like.

933480

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Gretchen von Tongeln @metalligretch.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

I like to say "Make sure you're not followed" when I make plans just to keep things interesting.

322148

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

Love when that spring sunshine hits and I step outside like a seasonally depressed Dorthy stumbling into technicolor.

051

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

Me: My Brain: Me: My Brain: Me: My Brain: *Steve Zahn voice* “You see, we're not "The Wonders" right now. We're "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters.”

051

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

interviewer: it says here you’re not afraid to challenge authority me: no it doesn’t

101139237

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 06/08/2023

[bookstore] customer: can you tell me where the do it yourself section is? me: you are not off to a good start

2631173

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

[reading my will] lawyer: he left you this pair of shoes my son: this what lawyer: he instructed me to say you are his “sole heir” I am so sorry

630351

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

You’re worrying about things that might not even happen, I think to myself. But it’s my specialty, myself thinks back.

717644

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 06/03/2025

Me: And how do I make sure my McDonald’s points make it to the right person? Estate Planner: I don’t think I can help you.

061

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Get her what she really wants this Valentine’s Day: A nap, some chocolate, and a floor to ceiling library that can only be accessed by a hidden lever.

150

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 13/02/2025

Decided to fake my own death. I'm not disappearing, I'm just going to start replying 'such trivial matters are the concern of the living' to any questions asked of me.

414829

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 12/02/2025

Ask not for whom the bell tolls because it’s the alarms I set on my phone for 6am, 6:05am, 6:10am, 6:15am, 6:20am, 6:25am, 6:30am, etc.

051

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

You can’t embarrass me. My phone ringer played Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie at full volume back in 2006.

020

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

ME: [first day as a waiter] How would you like your steak, Madam? HER: Well done. ME: Thank you. I’m very nervous.

445486

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Jon @arfmeasures.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date* McDonalds drive-thru employee: what

236163491344

Paige Kellerman @paigekellerman.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

Thought I was having a nervous breakdown but it turns out the necklace I really wanted to wear was just tangled in a bad knot I couldn’t get undone before I had to be somewhere.

100

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

ordinary @ordinaryalso.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

(at self checkout) me: did you find everything ok? me: yes thank you

529369

Reposted by Paige Kellerman

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

At work they call me “The Fixer” because everyone is deeply sarcastic.

213335