iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 10h

writing a gift of the magi-esque story about two graphic designers who are forced to pivot and become uber drivers and they crash into each other

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Me: {sweating in front of my grad students after another taxing lecture} "Okay I'm gonna say this ONE more time: don't say GHOSTS if you mean GHOULS. They are different things." Student: {raising hand} "What about goblins?" Me: "Get the fuck outta here."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Halloween is the one time of the year when we honor skeletons by standing them up for change.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Do you need more superhero IP, you sick monsters? Here is a list of all the original superhero movies I have pitched to big movie studios along with the reason(s) they were extremely rejected. Subscribe to my haunted newsletter please. welcometowormfarm.substack.com/p/finally-so...

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

INSTEAD OF: "I hate your guts." TRY: "You've beautiful guts." INSTEAD OF: "Put up your dukes." TRY: "Wrap those beautiful dukes around me."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Anyone with a robot vacuum is not scared of the robot uprising. They're just gonna keep trying to choke themselves on the same wire.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Lot of winners at the Emmys this year. One thing is for sure: TV shows truly are the movies of television.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I'm Detective Sense and this is my partner, Detective Sensibility.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Bro I’m so sorry, if I knew you were dating Strega Nona I NEVER would’ve made spaghetti, I’m sorry Strega

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

finally an iphone with even more screen to break etc. etc.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Excited to wear my fall fashions as I continue to sit and work from home and see nobody.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Excuse me Mr. The Devil but there seems to have been a mistake I was promised a special place in hell.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

{pouring a glass of water} Me: (remembering school) "Meniscus."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Me: "Hello, I got stuck in the muck." 911: "I'm sorry to hear that, sir, can you take a peek around and check if there is also mire?" Me: "Sure, hold on." 911: "Thanks." {squishing sounds from phone} Me: "Yeah, I'd say it's probably a 60/40 muck/mire situation."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

The name's Joaquin Pheonix. Pheonix as in the immortal fire bird of myth. Joaquin as in the sound swords make when they fight each other.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

In my dream last night everyone knew "www" stood for "wise wizard of the woods" because in the olden times if you needed a question answered you would seek out the wise wizard in the woods and the internet is a digital version of that.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Just got to the museum to steal the royal jewels during the eclipse and there's a whole fuckin' line of burglars!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

“And I shall remove my kidneys lest ye think me full o’beans.” - Winston Churchill

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Whether it be back, junk, or bone, America is bonkers for yards!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Tightened a screw in my apartment and then just wandered around my apartment with the screwdriver in case anything needed tightening.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Okay so here is my impression of Ronald Reagan if he got stuck in the backrooms. "Mr. Gorbachev, stare down this hall."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Can I explain this gap on my resumé? How familiar are you with the concept of Jumanji?

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Dr. Doom: "DO YOU LIKE MY CLOAK, CAPTAIN AMERICA? I SEWED MAGNETS INTO THE RIM OF THE HOOD SO IT DOES NOT FALL OFF IN THE BREEZE. I GET COLD DESPITE BEING SOME KIND OF MECHANICAL MAN, YOU SEE. BEHOLD AS THE BREEZE FAILS TO DISRUPT THE VERY HOOD I HAVE BE-SEWN MAGNETS INTO. I SEW MY OWN GARB."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Odysseus: Truly this whole thing has been pretty odyssian. Really an odyssey. Some might even call it THE odyssey. I’m Odysseus by the way.” Cyclops: “Okay.”

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

It’s my job to stand on the sidelines with a microphone during the World Cup and make the “pmmffmp” sound whenever someone kicks the ball.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

If I were Goalkeeper in the World Cup, I would simply do rapid cartwheels to and fro across the goal, creating powerful winds that would prevent the ball from ever entering the Goal Zone.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

{randy newman voice} 🎵chewbacca friend in me🎵

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

You know all the regular cracker companies were panicking when graham crackers came out.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Scientist: {looking through microscope} This specimen is covered in microbes. Me: Oh so now they’re YOUR crobes?

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Every time it cuts to the American team's coach talking to a player on the sidelines I like to imagine he's saying "remember don't touch da ball with your hands okay have fun"

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

So many movies are about either Spider-Man or The Mummy but never the same movie are they the same guy or what

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Must suck to have to name your band these days knowing "Chumbawumba" is off the table.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Honestly don't even invite me to a ball unless you do it cordially.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

I admit the post-credit scene after Toy Story 5 where a professor explains that the toys were never really alive because they do not have souls but because they were never alive they can never truly die made me choke up a little bit.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Guys what if I have been Steampunk this whole time? You'd never know.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Skeletor is a grim reminder of what would happen if skeletons could be buff.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

I don’t want to crawl in a hole and die, I want to crawl in a hole and live in the hole. Maybe put a couple shelves in the hole. A rug.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Nice try Itsy Bitsy Spider but I am not pronouncing “again” that way

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

It took me and my team of grad students years but we have finally discovered an even longer division.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Here's to you, sauciers. Thank you for figuring out which foods go with which goos.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

I have made the difficult and lucrative decision to pivot to AI. www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4hE...

youtube.com

Dan AI (2026)

YouTube video by CaptainHippo

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

It is nice to finally see these robots doing what they were built to do.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Bro, everything you touch turns to shit. Bro, King Midas would freakin' HATE you, bro.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Chef Gordon Ramsay was my father. Please, call me Regular Gordon Ramsay.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Artemis II: Houston, we are now flying by the far side of the moon, the farthest from Earth any human being has- wait a second, what is that? Me: {on the far side of the moon just trying to shit in peace for once} Ah, Christ.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 06/04/2026

First day as the social media manager at NASA! Wish me luck!!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

If you like eating chocolate covered matzo, wait until you hear about just eating chocolate.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Glenn Boozan wrote a book and I got to illustrate it and it was very fun. "At Least You’re Not an English Major" is available now! Please buy multiple copies so I make a million dollars and/or just keep me in mind if you ever need illustrations.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/03/2026

I was hired to write a song for Project Hail Mary but I got fired after I sent in Eleanor Rigby with the "Eleanor Rigby" part changed to "Project Hail Mary."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/03/2026

Buddy i don't give a shit WHO you are, if you get in my face I'm gonna try to be friends.

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