iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

you're lost in wilderness. after days of climbing you crest a ridge. while unzipping your bag to get binoculars, your last ten hard boiled eggs fall out and roll away, single file. you watch your eggs fade into the distance. you lift the binoculars. you watch your eggs fade into the distance

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

BEST DUMBBELL EXERCISES FOR DORSAL FIN WAS SHAMU NATTY? SHAMU WORKOUT ROUTINE SHAMU SEPT 1970 FLUKES&FLIPPERS CENTREFOLD SEALS OR SEA LIONS BEST FOR PROTEIN? Sorry guys. I stg, this fucking orca. Use your own phone, Owen

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Terrible, isn't it? Feels like some kind of scam.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Looking back on my life, I can’t help wondering how I got trapped in this shipping container

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.

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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

godzilla minus zero? I’m no mathematician but I’m pretty sure that’s just godzilla

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Apparently I’m the one who watches the watchmen. Really dropped the ball on this one, guys. I can only apologise. The instructions were in Latin. I thought it was a recipe for custard.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I'd quite like to live to 100, but only if I can do it like Attenborough. Regular 100 in a nursing home, forgetting my name and struggling to get to the bathroom? Fuck that. Check me out when I start to fall apart.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I hate when you meet someone and everything is going great and then they ask you to answer their riddles three

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Alice McFlurry @alicemcflurry.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I got kicked out for heckling, but it's not my fault because that eulogy wasn't even funny.

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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Tearing the bag of crisps fully open because I HAVE FUCKING COMMITMENT. Interviewer: OK. And your worst quality?

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

French people speaking English always sound like they're doing a mildly offensive impression of themselves

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I wouldn't just agree, I'd blush at the compliment.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Oooooh, new one to me. Gonna watch it this weekend :)

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

But they were all of them deceived, for another Duran was made

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Oooh, fun game. After a few attempts it seems I have absolutely no clue how to judge the year, but I'm pretty sharp with the location. Getting it down to measurements in feet rather than miles :)

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Arrived an hour early for my FBI interview, and the selection of porn magazines in the waiting room are not to my tastes

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

So, is there a miss ection? I ask, exploiting your momentary confusion to paint the jack of hearts on your chest and rebutton your shirt

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Look, we’re losing light and the veil between the living and the dead is becoming gossamer thin, so let me get this off my chest before it’s too late: you’re a dork

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Hey, not every franchise can afford the fry straightening machine.

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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

ME: yeah nah still didn't catch that THE WHISPER MAN: (inaudible) ME: i'm really sorry, one more time THE WHISPER MAN: (inaudible) ME: something something my son? he's not home THE WHISPER MAN: (inaudible, annoyed) ME: ok well i'll tell him you came by if we find him

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

You fool, you just agreed to wear the puffy shirt.

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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

OK, I’m back from my no-phones Yosemite hiking trip and excited to dive in to my new role. Handling public relations for a nice, kind lad like Ed Sheeran should be a joy. Hey, did you know he was in GAME OF THRONES?

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

We need to stop forcing Ewan McGregor to do the weird Wisconsichiganianachussetts accent he’s been flailing at for 30 years. Enough now. Your thing has dinosaurs. In the 1980s. We can suspend our disbelief just a little more for a Scottish person.

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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

with the can appearing to impose a hard limit on his physical size, we believed no threat was posed by Oscar the Grouch, until he vanished and beneath where he'd stood was found the entrance to a vast network of huge underground chambers. hours later, Paris fell. then Beijing. swallowed by the earth

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I haven't been able to visit the US in almost 20 years, and I've no wish to go in recent years, but in solidarity with your plight I downed a meal of poorly regulated and mishandled sausage meat while binging 30 Rock :P

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Chicken the Friendly Ghost @vermontchicken.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I put my pants on just like everyone else: squirming around on my bed with my legs in the air.

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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

now i am become Dad, the destroyer of leftovers

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Deeply unfair that I'm puking my guts out at 6AM on a Saturday morning after two hours of crippling cramps. At least let me earn this with alcohol rather than a healthy salad, a workout and a 9:30PM bedtime.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

If I already found out, I figure I can circle back to fucking around without a bunch of hullabaloo or paperwork

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I hope you went to the Mutianyu section with the toboggan ride down :)

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

My favorite witch on another app called Pete Hegseth a DUI hire and it was honestly the highlight of my day

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 08/09/2026

I talked about fight club once and absolutely nothing happened

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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

as an empath, I must ask you to shut the fuck up

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

You mean to tell me I could be gently stroking Zendaya's inner thigh in a darkened room at a house party while she breathily whispers sweet nothings and then I have to wake up to [gesticulates wildly at the entire concept of consciousness] THIS BULLSHIT? What a scam.

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

They say you can't out-train a bad diet, but I just walked seven miles across a city in searing tropical heat so I could eat an entirely calorie-free 200g pointe de brie when I got home. Check. And. Mate. Motherfucker.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My kid said his Dr. Pepper had no chafizzma and I only allowed that because he was right

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Keith Taylor @mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

As a thing to look at? Awesome. As a toy to play with? Awesome. As a sensible design for safe and accessible in car controls? Fucking idiotic.

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 04/09/2026

that’s not very space cowboy of you maurice

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