iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 1h

the ‘h’ in whisper is there as an example

14017

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 24/12/2024

I like to sidle up to strangers at the checkout and whisper “Now you’ve gone too far.”

416760

Reposted by Billhelm

Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

drowning in a plethora of cheese would fix me

68441

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Her: You use so many obscure words, it’s as though you’re trying to bury us with them. Me: Indeed, a veritable plethora of words.

75720

Reposted by Billhelm

Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

a rap battle between a mariachi band and a peruvian flute band is this anything it probably shouldn't be anything

1310344

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Her: I’m really looking forward to a quiet evening at home. Me: *𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪 𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸*

210843

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 05/10/2026

almost cried from stubbing my toe, not from the pain but because my baby laughed at me

815526

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

My Disney villain sex worker name is Captain Hooker.

412234

Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Maybe I’m a bitchy gay because I identified a little hard with the queer coded Disney villains and made it my entire personality

03811

Reposted by Billhelm

Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

(flirting) many beautiful women have liked my bluesky posts

1026653

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 04/10/2026

ouroboros should be a palindrome

1420749

Reposted by Billhelm

Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Nightmare Before Christmas version of Cinderella where giant wasps help her get dressed

1022070

Reposted by Billhelm

Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

ugh im in such a mood [cow in my living room] why do you keep looking at me when you say that

04420

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 03/10/2026

my new favorite Dad Bit™️ is giving bebé a tiny shoulder rub and saying things like “you’ve had a hard day” and “you’re carrying a lot of tension up here”

68813

Reposted by Billhelm

🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 03/10/2026

I’d hallo your ween if you know what I mean

36025

Reposted by Billhelm

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

my addiction to addictions has really brought this family together

0179

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 03/10/2026

the even spookier tale of the la croixless horseman

37225

Reposted by Billhelm

Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 02/10/2026

warm the cockles of your heart to an internal temperature of 190° and serve in the shell

15212

Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

If you can’t handle me at my “use a theater program to pick me teeth” you don’t deserve me at my “look annoyed when you take candid photos of me”

075

Reposted by Billhelm

Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Modern cats don't eat your dead body, they sell your organs on the black market

18731

Reposted by Billhelm

trick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

a pumpkin a day keeps the doctober away

26723

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Instead of an air fryer I recommend using a cockle warmer. Easy cleanup, too.

25121

Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

[takes an edible] how many chili peppers would I need to eat in order to flame grill a steak just by farting?

0143

Reposted by Billhelm

Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

flame grilled dreams and expectations

510854

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 01/10/2026

i do not think the lines are real on flame grilled la croix

59329

Reposted by Billhelm

Reverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

other people’s kids are going to be in my house this weekend and that makes me want to die

11698

Reposted by Billhelm

🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 02/10/2026

shitposters have taught me a lot about myself that I was trying to keep buried so thanks I guess

69431

Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Happy Blocktober to all the political accounts 🥰

0145

Reposted by Billhelm

Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

no one gets horny about laser holography anymore and I think that's a real shame.

1277

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

[at my autopsy; a forensic pathologist speaks into a recording device in a puzzled tone] “I’ve never seen so many apple stickers inside of someone”

929074

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 30/09/2026

most mimes stick to the following code:

36018

Reposted by Billhelm

Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Just quit my job by throwing my iced latte at that dude from HR

26116

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

A necklace made of sausage links, pasta and green beans. We’ll call it a food chain.

613340

Reposted by Billhelm

Jason the Spooky ®️ 💛🤍💜🖤 @jasontheaverage.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Purrfume, for your cats butthole they insist on showing you at every opportunity

063

Reposted by Billhelm

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

[after a long day at work] Me: im pooped 17: hi pooped, im son

13614

Reposted by Billhelm

🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 29/09/2026

shitposting hard or hardposting shit

85927

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 29/09/2026

i relaxed my shoulders and a quarter fell out of my ear

55215

Reposted by Billhelm

Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

trial and error would be great names for twins

922970

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Just brushed my cat and it produced enough fur to cover 6 bald cats.

312029

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 28/09/2026

my bebé’s favorite thing to do is to stop doing the thing i’m trying to record her doing

46611

Reposted by Billhelm

Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

don't worry about how i know this, but it's better to puncture the tube with a fork 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 you microwave the gogurt

2176

Reposted by Billhelm

Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

in space no one can hear you scream but they dont mean your parking space people can still hear you even with your windows rolled up

03418

Reposted by Billhelm

Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

why are you eating all those french fries [me] you told me to hydrate what [me] car-bo-hydrate its right there in the word

18733

Reposted by Billhelm

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Date: i wanna be with someone who really brings something to the table Waiter: i have a order of lemon pepper wings Me: you son of a bitch

06118

Reposted by Billhelm

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

My medication label: “Do not operate heavy machinery” Me, as I prep to perform brain surgery: “Well, that’s just common sense”

37327

Reposted by Billhelm

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 27/09/2026

mowed the lawn with the ruthless efficiency that only an awaiting breakfast burrito can provide

27418

Reposted by Billhelm

los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

You cat hates it when you see meow cuz you are saying it wrong

149636