Sign in

JXPrime

@jxprime.bsky.social
264 followers 583 following 292 posts

just zis guy, you know? allergic to gammon.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by JXPrime
mtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 2h
ya i mean i do genuinely think that one of hegseth's goals is to drive people appalled by barbarity out of the military, because the long term plan is to make the military shoot at us, and the same guys who object to this won't do that either.
22928246
Reposted by JXPrime
Lauren McKenzie @themckenziest.gay · 1h
Billionaire has a nut-spreading operation is definitely a brand new sentence
Axios Chicago article screenshot: The city is weighing legal action against Lincoln Park billionaire Barre Seid over claims that his nut-spreading operation is fueling a rat infestation around Green City.
Market, Ald. Timmy Knudsen (43rd) says.
Why it matters: The infestation is causing property damage that could leave taxpayers on the hook for repairs, according to city documents.
• Plus, Knudsen says Seid's nut-spreading activities have expanded in recent months, even as the city has ramped up citations against him.
43111
Reposted by JXPrime
BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 35m
Egret is drunk as hell
8563
Reposted by JXPrime
Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 4h
I will never, ever consider my audience when making art. You are a disgusting flesh piano I manipulate to make the noises that please me. That’s the Rob Delaney promise.
3386156
Reposted by JXPrime
David Gerbosi @gerbosi.bsky.social · 51m
I recorded a radio commercial with him once. While I was editing he picked up a copy of The Onion and read this article. Dude was pissed. Every vein in his head bulging. Trying to explain to Ditka the concept of a satirical newspaper was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
217524
Reposted by JXPrime
Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 29m
God i thank you
3657
Reposted by JXPrime
onion person @junlper.beer · 37m
its feels like a mass psychosis where tech leaders continue to insist you can be cruel, mean, and hurt the feelings of lines of code
46801113
Reposted by JXPrime
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 2h
Six months ago:
theonion.com
DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment
WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “Fo...
1173971899
Reposted by JXPrime
dr. hazel 🕸️🕷️ @hazelmonforton.com · 2h
I'm actually crying, this is an incredible bit. minesweeper.mikelacher.com
minesweeper.mikelacher.com
Triple-A Minesweeper
Sweep to survive in the action-packed, AAA reboot of the classic puzzle game.
4030261361
Reposted by JXPrime
City of Minneapolis @minneapolismn.gov · 2h
Today, and every day, we stand with the Somali community.
The marquee at Cedar Culture Center with the message "We love our Somali neighbors" written out.
134095582
Reposted by JXPrime
Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 4h
hello computer, decompile and distill sonic the hedgehog 2 make the game set in my hometown, with each zone as a different area make the main character me make it so I never lose my rings and get all the chaos emeralds first go give knuckles large naturals put shrek in it give shrek large naturals
1359
Reposted by JXPrime
Glonzo the Bureaucrat 🇬🇱 🌹 @snarkranger.bsky.social · 5h
I am sick and tired of seeing this shit. DOGE was not a "missed opportunity," it was an intentional effort by billionaire oligarchs to destroy the federal government's capacity to do good things for the American people.
191347333
Reposted by JXPrime
Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 18h
begging with all my heart for more Democrats running in this election cycle to pick up what Jon Ossoff is putting down CALL 👏 THEM 👏 NAZIS 👏 TO 👏 THEIR 👏 FACE
03563733
Reposted by JXPrime
JM =^D @jm539581.bsky.social · 18h
810528
Reposted by JXPrime
Ian Rapoport @rapsheet.bsky.social · 18h
Bucky Irving goes 72 incredible yards.
517211
Reposted by JXPrime
David Rothschild @davmicrot.bsky.social · 19h
Ossoff is definitely not listening to Yglesias/Klein/PodSave reactionary centrist crowd, he does not think his marginal voter is a white-supremacist, and that is what makes him such an attractive candidate to the vast majority of US who are not white-supremacists.
503588613
Reposted by JXPrime
Adam Cook @motorcityadam.com · 08/10/2026
A bit late to this one. Musk is being awfully specific on what #Tesla is trying to avoid which, very sadly, probably means that Tesla's Robotaxi's probably struck one or more pets or animals on the roadway. Probably a grey kitten. Probably a pet. And we just don't know about it yet. #robotics
A screenshot of a social media post by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on X (formerly Twitter) dated October 3, 2026. The text reads: "Robotaxi operating hours moved from 10pm to 11pm. The main thing we're trying to solve is making sure that we don't run over pets when they're hard to see at night. Literally trying to avoid grey kittens on grey tarmac in the dark." The post quotes an official Robotaxi account tweet from October 2 that says, "Robotaxi in Austin now available until 11pm." The post has 8.1M views.
88412
Reposted by JXPrime
Ryan Cordell @ryancordell.org · 08/10/2026
My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in an optimal way But there was code to vibe in Gemini So I trained a model what I might say And anytime he needed just to hear me speak I’d say “hey, please read like me, bot” “Bot, please read like me”
25415
Reposted by JXPrime
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Lorry driver here. We can see you wanking and/or watching porn when driving. Stop it.
221925
Reposted by JXPrime
the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
uh-huh.
During their search of his home, investigators seized about 300 gold bars, federal officials said, along with about $2
million in U.S. currency and
35 luxury watches. Initially, investigators said it was 303 bars, but on Tuesday revised that figure to 298 bars.
7959
Reposted by JXPrime
Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Thankfully, @reparrishcomics.bsky.social assures us there is nothing to worry about
r. e. parrish cartoon, entitled FOUND THE LOOPHOLE. 1. A man in a hat with a monkey’s paw says “THIS ... IS THE
CURSÉD MONKEY'S PAW. IT WILL GRANT THREE WISHES...”. Another man gasps. 2. “BUT I MUST WARN YOU- THERE MAY BE UNFORESEEN C-”. 3. The man who gasped says “SHUT IT, OLD MAN!” and snatches the paw off him. The first man says “BUT!” 4. The man with the paw says “I WISH FOR THE REST OF THE MONKEY”. 5 “POOF!” The monkey appears in his arms, smiling. 6. The man’s head and the monkey’s head appear in a star shape with the words “NEW BEST FRIENDS! NOTHING BAD HAPPENED!”
316134
Reposted by JXPrime
Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
My feed is full of people encountering Susan Dell for the first time, so I'd just like to note that she used to look, um, normal?
3261688272
JXPrime @jxprime.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
trash dest cummies wait
010
Reposted by JXPrime
Ryan Smith @rysmith.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Bart Simpson: What an Odd Thing to Say
ALT: Bart Simpson: What an Odd Thing to Say
0664
Reposted by JXPrime
bryan newbold @bnewbold.net · 07/10/2026
ah damn, RIP Margaret Hamilton. she took safety-critical software engineering seriously, and got people to the moon and back. news.mit.edu/2026/margare...
old photos of a woman (Margaret Hamilton) standing next to a tall stack of books (printouts of Apollo space mission software source code)
101142524692
Reposted by JXPrime
public health guy @publichealthguy1.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh my GOD
phoenixnewtimes.com
Congressional candidate is raped while repairing her campaign signs
Embarrassed, she initially didn’t want to report attack. Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office's investigation is ongoing.
671794518
Reposted by JXPrime
Frankenbert Graveyardko @albertburneko.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
the instructions he gave the AI were almost certainly longer and more detailed and took more time to craft than the message that ended up on the card, and this motherfucker failed at both
635348
Reposted by JXPrime
Alice Averlong 🏳️‍⚧️ @alice.averlong.com · 07/10/2026
oh god taylor swift has applied for her own gtld, .taylorswift
2620222
Reposted by JXPrime
Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Kim Guillyfoyle asking a donor for $100K to cover her credit card debt before starting in her new role as Ambassador to Greece. "Deters didn’t ultimately make the payment, telling Guilfoyle it would cost him his marriage." www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
1131985525
Reposted by JXPrime
Mark Watson @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You should go and see Rachel. She's very good, but also, the balls it takes to do a post like this - in a climate where comedians are encouraged to post nothing but wins, forever - merits your attendance on its own.
1135988
Reposted by JXPrime
Phoenix New Times @phoenixnewtimes.com · 07/10/2026
Embarrassed, she initially didn’t want to report attack. Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office's investigation is ongoing. www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/congre…
49929361
Reposted by JXPrime
Ken Johns ⚓️ @deckape.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Incredible timeline convergence
0677
Reposted by JXPrime
Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Gary Busey fucked a *whole* lotta rich guys' wives
8845184
Reposted by JXPrime
maffew going to MAGFest @maffewgregg.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
you know it's a special AEW show when Tony Schiavone busts out the Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 gear
VIVA LE LUNDI NITRO
1645069
Reposted by JXPrime
old man sexualizer @pentagulia.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
111884879
Reposted by JXPrime
DrawPlayDave @thedrawplay.com · 07/10/2026
The elephant on the field www.thedrawplay.com/comic/the-el...
221350
Reposted by JXPrime
Chase Mitchell @chasemit.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Can you fucking imagine how insane it would feel to go in for your execution and then WAKE UP
1455
Reposted by JXPrime
Luke Knox @lukeknox.me · 07/10/2026
babe whats wrong, you barely touched your Ham Protein Cup
1293
Reposted by JXPrime
Niko Stratis @nikostratis.com · 07/10/2026
how is it that I failed high school and am smarter than this
023022
Reposted by JXPrime
Richard @sirlariato.northsky.social · 06/10/2026
Scorp murders Benoit with his ass
5617
Reposted by JXPrime
12tone @12tone.nebula.tv · 06/10/2026
Williams, 37, then unleashed her response to the DHS’ statement in an Instagram Story post Monday: “And may I suggest all Nazi bitches suck on my fat d***.”

A DHS representative did not immediately return The Independent’s request for comment.
6103072851
Reposted by JXPrime
Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 06/10/2026
*Scott Hansen Voice* 61 STRAIGHT DAYS OF COMMERCIAL FILLED FOOTBALL
410213
Reposted by JXPrime
Rich Burroughs @somewhattolerable.com · 06/10/2026
Killshot from The Onion, JFC
213815
Reposted by JXPrime
Bobby Schroeder @ponett.dog · 06/10/2026
no shortage of AI slop these days, but i think "the creators of dizzy are coming back to make a new game and it's AI slop" has me gobsmacked more than anything else. dizzy? fucking dizzy? you can't draw a fucking 8-bit egg on your own anymore? and you willingly admit this??
5602126
Reposted by JXPrime
Joe Gagne @joegagne.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
When I watch wrestling on my Virtual Boy
0151
Reposted by JXPrime
Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Nothing soothes the souls and hearts of people whose children have made the ultimate sacrifice like knowing the President has a cool new room to eat well-done steak with ketchup
435829
Reposted by JXPrime
InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Get in on the ground floor of the agent everyone is talking about. Here are some of our favorite Z prompts to have a better and more fulfilling life. (This post is #PoweredByZ, proud sponsor of the Tim Heidecker Podcast.)
A digital assistant interface with a glowing "Z" logo, suggesting a startup or help prompt. A humorous request below asks for a daily schedule including an intense workout, Bible study, cold plunge, foreskin stretch training, and surveillance of an ex-partner and their new companion, Jimmy Garoppolo.A stylized letter "Z" is centered against a dark cosmic background with Earth visible below. Text on the image humorously asks for help with improving intimacy speed to allow more time for Microsoft Excel. A screenshot of a digital assistant app displaying a large letter "Z" at the top. Below, text reads, "Need help getting started?" At the bottom, a suggestion says, "Compose an email to my ex-wife explaining why I need fewer monthly custody days so I can focus on building my Juggalo lifestyle brand." A digital screen displays a conversation with a text asking how Jeff Bezos created Amazon, with a humorous request for a plan to make multiple Amazons per day. The screen includes a stylized "Z" logo and a note mentioning potential mistakes. Earth is visible in the background.
225639
Reposted by JXPrime
Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Sad as hell. No wonder you think chatbots are alive, you are devoid of a personality and can't find any real friends because no one can stand to be near you for more than 5 consecutive seconds
6819
Reposted by JXPrime
onion person @junlper.beer · 06/10/2026
one of the deepest sicknesses in the world are the people who feel personally attacked over other people getting the same rights as them
8785791694