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josephmcguffin.bsky.social

@josephmcguffin.bsky.social
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Boo!-per Lund @cooperlund.online · 31/08/2026
Some friends are teaching their baby ASL as an early bridge to speech and they made the mistake of teaching her “want” as a concept. Now she wanders around the house signing “want” all the time as an expression of unfocused desire. They fucked up and made the baby invent the opposite of Buddhism.
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Eric Columbus @ericcolumbus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
GEFILTE PHISHING
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Josephine Riesman @josie.zone · 18/09/2026
Find yourself someone who looks at you the way Carrie Fisher looked at future ROBOCOP star Peter Weller during a 1980 Giorgio Armani afterparty
Carrie Fisher looking sexily at Peter Weller
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Postmaster General should be the title given to the best poster on a social media site and definitely not the supreme leader of mail
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Stuart Palmer @spalm.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
"Fresh Butternut Pumpkin Whole".
"Fresh Butternut Pumpkin Whole" truncated to "Fresh Butt ... hole".
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e.w. niedermeyer @niedermeyer.online · 02/10/2026
in other unfortunate metaphor news, the Carousel of Progress is closed
The Carousel of Progress, from the 1964 World's Fair, at Disney World
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eli yudin @eliyudin.com · 03/11/2025
can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.
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Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
VIVIAN MAIER was a Nanny for 40yrs who unbeknownst to anyone spent her free time taking over 150,000 photos of whatever interested her. 2yrs before she died her photos were found in a lock up she’d failed to keep up payments on and her decades of incredible work suddenly exploded upon the world.
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Wavy Jones @postambition.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Hopefully we can still get these
Chinese sign translated as “translate server error”
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Natalie Litofsky @positivelynatalie.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
They joys of late 90s/early 2000s Chinese grocery stores may never be replicated. bsky.app/profile/posi...
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BeijingPalmer @beijingpalmer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
sadly the huge leaps forward in machine translation are likely to deprive us of such reliable gems as "dry" and "fuck" in Chinese using the same simplified character or my all-time favorite "Racist Park" (which was also an accurate description of the park, as it happened)
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g0m @g0m.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
A world where a twist ending is repurposed as a video title. where a thing's climax has been removed, leaving an advertisment for the gap where it used to be. such things are commonplace in. the twilight zone
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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Reminder that in Canada upon becoming an engineer you get an iron ring made of a collapsed bridge, purposely designed to be uncomfortable, to remind you that your ethics demand you give a fuck even about the boring grudgework of such as double-checking your math. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Ring
en.wikipedia.org
Iron Ring - Wikipedia
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Matt Kavanagh @mattkavanagh.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Whoever ends up writing it definitely needs to use this anecdote: abcnews.com/video/357882...
abcnews.com
Video Texas Plumber Sues Car Dealership When His Used Truck Found Driven by ISIS
The plumber's name and phone number are embossed on a pickup truck he traded in and is now being driven by terrorists.
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Christina Larson @christina-larson.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I’m thrilled to share my first feature story for American Archaeology magazine. The article traces the history of North America’s original caffeinated brew — Yaupon holly tea, sometimes called Black Drink — a ceremonial beverage prepared by many Indigenous nations before Europeans contact.
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Alex von Tunzelmann @alexvont.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Well done to the picture editor who captioned this delightful snap of a black pig swimming off the west coast of Greece “swine-dark sea” www.theguardian.com/environment/...
Swine-dark sea ... Mediterranean black pigs swim at a beach on the private island of Atokos, in the lonian Sea off the west coast of Greece. The island, which is uninhabited by humans, is owned by a shipping magnate
Photograph: Aris Messinis/AFP/Getty Images
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 13/08/2026
[Commenter]:
"that imitation crab is banging my wife and I love it"

[Reply]:
"commas are important"
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Nothings Monstered @nothingsmonstrd.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
How to visit an art museum with someone who isn't used to visiting art museums:
Two social media posts by @pan_juho (Translated from Japanese):

"I love going to art museums, but when I go with someone who's not used to them, if I say, 'If you were a great thief, tell me later which one you'd steal,' they end up looking the exhibits pretty seriously, and that makes me happy.

"Whether you steal something you like or something that seems valuable -> it opens up endless conversation based on what vou liked about it or where you saw value in it, so it's also great as an easy icebreaker for chats after visiting the museum."
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Goodnews @goodnews.computer · 04/09/2026
Take a break from being depressed that everything you love is being destroyed by slop for a moment and let me tell you about the beautiful symbiotic relationship between graffiti writers, train yard workers, and model train enthusiasts.
A hand holding a model train with a replica of the same graffiti on the full scale train car behind it.A model train with two graffiti pieces on opposite sides.
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Spooky Back From The Dead Lazarus @jlazarus.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I love re-upping this: for decades the main library at UCLA had the generic name University Research Library because the person most responsible for getting it built was an English professor named Hugh G. Dick and the university refused to name it after him.
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Jim Douglas 🇨🇦 @jimsdouglas.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I recently watched a surprisingly interesting YouTube video of a woman who spent months knitting a sweater literally from scratch, staring with shearing a sheep and spinning the wool. Valuing her labour at minimum wage, she put the cost of the sweater at more than $2,000. youtu.be/L7QMgbMlaek?...
youtu.be
I made a sweater from scratch (it made me insane)
YouTube video by Macy Gilliam
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Professor Peter Matthews @urbaneprofessor.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
This frontispiece in my book just made me laugh a lot. Is this Buddhist reincarnation, or some other form of afterlife?
Bram Stoker
1847-1912
A PENGUIN SINCE 1979
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WildPartyInviteDecliner @ratelimitexceeder.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Francis Fukuyama keeps the winning streak alive.
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GT 🫪 @granitetide.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
we used to build household shrines to Going On The Computer and it's no coincidence that as we abandoned these we started straying further from god's light
90s computer desk with shelves for speakers, tower, printer, pull-out mouse and keyboard drawer etc
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Ami - BUY MY BOOK 🏳️‍⚧️📚💙 @amithero.bot · 03/09/2026
hello I am modern aaa game designer. the shareholders told me to make the game longer. I do not wish to make the game longer. they told me to make the game longer or I lose job. I make the player collect 6 potatoes for 5% damage resistance. The shareholders are happy. I've been laid off.
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ustadh 🔒 @dragoman.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
They do NOT make prayer books like they used to
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こっし~ @cossy55.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
日光浴してたら生まれた猫バス
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Django Wexler @djangowexler.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Somehow things that would have been a background gag in a Verhoeven movie are now just real
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Cornell University has banned the processing of wild game in residential kitchens on campus after two students carved up a bear carcass to make “black-bear pastrami”
nytimes.com
Students Skinned a Bear in a Dorm. Cornell Realized It Should Ban That.
After two Cornell University students skinned a black bear in a communal kitchen last year to make a meal, the school changed the rules.
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28 Days Lehner 🪦 @danlehner.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
[Homer sits backwards on a chair] let me tell you about ANOTHER giant brute who was being beaten by Nobody
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Maytera Marble @mayteramarble.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Harrison Ford, the actor behind loveable scoundrels Han Solo and Indiana Jones, started his career as an on-set carpenter. That makes him a roguelike deckbuilder.
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SKELLYTON @pizzalawyer420.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Logging on to read your posts
Clown on toy computer
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 25/07/2026
"Great Tits Could Go Extinct This Century Due To Climate Change," headline based on an ecological study published in Ecology Letters. 
https://tribune.net.ph/2026/07/15/scientists-say-great-tits-may-soon-go-extinct-in-a-warming-world
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 25/07/2026
S★ (@xxyllinn) on twitter: "I don't want to "join the community" of a brand that sells socks. I just want the socks. Stop emailing me about your "mission statement." Your mission is to sell socks. We both know this."
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 25/07/2026
 fipindustries on tumblr:

I cannot stand the parodies of modern major general,
they're overdone and simply not as good as the original.
They've done them about everything, whatever topic, big or small.
And when i notice one of them my eyes will always start to roll.

The diction’s always slurry when they rush the
complicated words, and adding many fricatives will turn
it so cacophonous. The slanted rhymes are silly and they
keep just making more and more, please someone stop
the parodies of modern major general.

The scanning of the lyrics in the meter is unbearable,
they emphazise the syllables in ways that are untenable,
in short in matters musical, prosodic and ephemeral, i
cannot stand the parodies of modern major general!
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Gwen Snyder is undead @gwensnyder.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
I stared at this headline a full minute trying to imagine a reasonable explanation. And then it turned out to be literally actually the picture that had first popped into my head
After budget cuts, marmots join only fansOnlyMarms’: Marmots Are on OnlyFans to Raise Money for Research
A team of scientists uploaded videos of the squirrel-like rodents in the wild on the adult-content site OnlyFans to raise money amid government budget cuts.


Listen · 5:08 min
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Sophie E. Hill @sophieehill.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
"TikTok is just AI slop, teenagers dancing, and political misinformation" SKILL ISSUE. MY TikTok feed is 100% the guy structuring an elephant puppet around a toddler carrier and using it to invade Italy via Hannibal Barca's 218BC route through the Alps. vm.tiktok.com/ZN8JcuTJd/
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e.w. niedermeyer @niedermeyer.online · 22/07/2026
this comparison leaves out a key point: the Edsel sold roughly twice the Cybertruck's volume at a time when the overall car market was just 6m units/year instead of the current 16m units/year that makes the Cybertruck the much, much bigger flop, hands down
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#puppysauce @pampsicles.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
The most unfortunate part is that there is a pure hearted clarity of mind you get between 6 and 8am that genuinely convinces you its going to work and then its 2PM and you’re seeing the hat man
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cuteosphere @cuteosphere.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
When I was a student we called this “tanking it” and at least one of my friend group was doing it every day. Sometimes two or more people synched up and tried to tank it together and that was when you could witness true lunacy
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EssonnianDragon @essonniandragon.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
OH MY FUCK THEY ACTUALLY DID THAT
Rabbi Yirmeya raises a dilemma: If one leg of the chick was within fifty cubits of the dovecote, and one leg was beyond fifty cubits, what is the halakha? The Gemara comments: And it was for his question about this far-fetched scenario that they removed Rabbi Yirmeya from the study hall, as he was apparently wasting the Sages’ time.

בָּעֵי רַבִּי יִרְמְיָה: רַגְלוֹ אַחַת בְּתוֹךְ חֲמִשִּׁים אַמָּה, וְרַגְלוֹ אַחַת חוּץ מֵחֲמִשִּׁים אַמָּה – מַהוּ? וְעַל דָּא אַפְּקוּהוּ לְרַבִּי יִרְמְיָה מִבֵּי מִדְרְשָׁא.
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Boo!-per Lund @cooperlund.online · 09/07/2026
It’s New Foods Day for the Minnesota State Fair and this, to me, is the promise of America www.mnstatefair.org/new/food
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Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Last Week Tonight covered this guy and he is insane
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 25/06/2026
SoftBank’s investor presentation is one of the greatest things ever made. I’ve been thinking about it all day. These are the real slides shown in a speech where Masayoshi Son said he wouldn’t retire for at least another decade. The goose stuff is truly demented. Bravo group.softbank/media/Projec...
Internal mechanism
The True Source of Value
ASI
Golden Egg factory inside the goose
What you see are the eggs
What produces them is the factory itself
ACI
ASI ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
AS'
ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
ASI
55
Market
Capitalization
Egg
=
value
= JPY 74T +
Goose
+
value
a
5646
Shareholder Value = 3 eggs
Goose was not valued
Goose value
0?
47
Eggs do not lay eggs
3 → 74
Increase = 71
It was the goose that created value
74 - 3 = 71
Goose value
71
는 49
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Kathryn Tewson @kathryntewson.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Y’all I know a lot of things are real bad right now, but here’s one of them
A listing for — and this is real — “Marrō Sparkling Bone Broth” in Blueberry Lemonade flavor. It calls itself “Wellness Fuel” and a “Revitalizing Protein Refresher.” It claims to have 12 grams of protein. The can is blue and yellow and features a skull wearing a bandana and sunglasses. 

I am as confused as you are. Please know that seeing the picture would not make it make more sense.
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josephmcguffin.bsky.social @josephmcguffin.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
prokopetz.tumblr.com/post/8179722...
prokopetz.tumblr.com
David J Prokopetz
I'm not saying I find any of this in any way credible, but "tabletop roleplaying games became a wider cultural phenomenon at the time and in the place that they did because the global...
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KIMBLY NOT HERE TRY VENMO @k1m.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
the show must goon
An art installation in Vegas that says the show must go on but I see goon
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Bill-a Lugosi's Dead @neokefka99.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
John Carpenter has the correct attitude towards sequels and remakes of his movies.
"Every time they make a new Halloween movie, something really great happens.""I'm sitting on my couch. My feet are up.""I extend my hand and a check lands.""This is the kind of job I've wanted my entire life!"
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ARBco @j-k.games · 07/06/2026
As somebody who has to tell editors "there's no word for this, so I made one up..." Here's the original article in question, for credit:
languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu
Language Log » Tiramisu
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⚔️🎀 𝔉𝔦𝔞𝔡𝔥 🎀⚔️ @fiadh.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
bat or donut?
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