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johnny

@johnnypanic.bsky.social
414 followers 383 following 650 posts

stay at home shit talker | the luddites had it right

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Reposted by johnny
Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 12/10/2026
If seed oils accidentally get into your food you can put it in the microwave with a ball of aluminum foil. The foil interacts with the seed oils in such a way that it removes the toxins or whatever stupid bullshit you think is in there, or whatever. Put aluminum foil in the microwave with your food.
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Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 13/10/2025
yearly reminder to people insisting that we view Christopher Columbus as "a man of his time" that *the people responsible for the Spanish Inquisition* thought Columbus was out of pocket
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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Who up grinding bones to make their bread
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
there is btw
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Mr. Cait @chas.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The entire world is falling apart because ten percent of the population got hypnotized by a fucking speak and spell. I hate it here.
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
oh it’s so sweaty
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Not now "reptilian" beings
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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
poison my pumpkin spice latte so i know it's real
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
who exactly does he think the electorate at large is?
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
what if we made out in the glow of the exterior sconce lighting at Burger King
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
oh they definitely will!
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Having a balanced gut microbiome is quite erotic
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lily🌱 @owlylly.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
beasts come out for autumn
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
mine just straight up said “no”. sure your doctor says you need this, but we say you don’t.
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Nes Lessman @neslessman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
First date idea: we go to the pawn shop and pick out rings
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
why are we mad about choosin’ texas?
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
After extensive research and a sufficiently large sample size, I’ve determined that I don’t like men anymore.
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PBS News @pbsnews.org · 26/09/2026
More than 167,000 pounds of beef, pork and goat meat are being recalled after they were produced without the required federal inspection and labeled with a false inspection sticker, according to the Department of Agriculture. to.pbs.org/4d8kBO9
pbs.org
More than 167,000 pounds of meat were recalled. What to know about the state of food safety in the U.S.
More than 167,000 pounds of beef, pork and goat meat are being recalled after they were produced without the required federal inspection and labeled with a false inspection sticker, according to the D...
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Anthropic comes out every few days and is like “Our system accidentally stole all of the classified government files from England” but it never comes out and says “Our system cured pancreatic cancer on accident” I think that probably tells us what they are planning to use it for
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
cold spaghetti on white good as hell
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Roz @rozmilner.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
It’s so cool we used to have over tha air tv and it was understood the ads we had to watch were how we paid for it. now we have to pay a monthly fee for the privilege of seeing ads.
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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I repost a lot to help strengthen your scrolling finger
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Chris Kluwe, adjudicated poaster @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
If only we had historical records from the most prosperous period in American history when the ultra rich were taxed at 90%+ rates. Alas.
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
some people are expressing their displeasure about obits of annie dillard that talk up her looks, and that’s a reasonable take, but let me be clear. in the event of my own untimely death. i expect all obituaries to describe me as a total smokeshow. it’s ok if that’s the bulk of the obituary, even
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Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
A minor detail is missing from the headline.
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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
ah sure we can’t get gas or eat food but that’s just the sacrifice americans are willing to make to say the R word
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
live report from the conference of mayors: cigarettes are indeed so back
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
when he lets go or his stem is dry
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Love this September Santa weather youtu.be/6ut__QUsopU?...
youtu.be
The Birthday Boys September Santa IFC
YouTube video by Fiona Perry
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
feels a lot like complicity to me
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French New Wave Memes @fnwave.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
more and more people are saying this
Inazuma (Lightning), 1952 - Mikio Naruse

a woman looking pensive saying

women are sad.
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Debt Collective 🟥 @debtcollective.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Nearly 30 incarcerated men sent $4,000 to a Kansas school district to pay off their school lunch debt. This will read like a "feel good" story to some, but it is actually the greatest damnation of the capitalist state's ability to meet anyone's needs. www.actionnews5.com/2026/09/04/p...
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18/09/2023
We are stranded on a hostile planet that's orbiting a treacherous star. Everyone and everything we love dies. But yes, I am ready for some football
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
hey (with the intention of destroying your whole world)
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inthefade @ihavethatonvinyl.com · 07/09/2026
almost time to buy a shitload of mums for my porch and watch them slowly die
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
The McKamey Manor dude is obviously an evil piece of shit, but on paper there is something funny in concept about having a “business” where you tell people you have a zipline in your back yard and then hit them and spray them with a hose until they leave instead of admitting you don’t have a zipline
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
not now john darnielle
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Wearing a HR Monitor while taking a poo @thepenismightier4.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
We’re doing ballroom and doing it very strongly and this is what you little piggies want and you will like it
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
deep into Day One of my Two Violent Days of the month
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
fox news is writing yaoi fanfic now about two men they can't stop calling manly and handsome
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Possum Acquainter @possumacquainter.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
i thought they foreshadowed this really well in the first movie
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lizardbreath 🦎🪦🎃 @spindlypete.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
people who grew up with enough money just don't have a scavengers instinct
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
i know ms rachel, hasan piker, and the mac and cheese girl 🤷🏻‍♀️
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ceej @ceej.online · 24/08/2026
my favorite part of hosting a child’s birthday party is pouring out twenty-five nearly-full lacroix cans
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ceej @ceej.online · 15/07/2024
I did not anticipate how much of home ownership was going to be battling little creatures
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johnny @johnnypanic.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
let’s 🐪
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spooky glue @delightedbutdying.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
do you guys wanna come over we can run around and scream
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