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jhoff80

@jhoff80.bsky.social
520 followers 259 following 25 posts
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Reposted by jhoff80
Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 09/10/2026
Because he's one of the only people standing next to a Republican going, "this person is a piece of shit, I don't respect him, neither should you, he's fucking evil and he needs to go, and I don't care if it makes me sound rude saying it" LIKE EVERY DEMOCRAT SHOULD BE DOING??? MAYBE???
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
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Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I might be a little less distrustful of AI if the dudes promoting it, supporting it, insisting on it, and advocating for it weren’t the worst fucking people on the planet.
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Phoef Sutton @phoefsutton.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
TOON TUESDAY
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Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
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Hourly Cosmos @hourlycosmos.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Horsehead and Flame Nebulae - From Ryan Kinnett (rkinnett.bsky.social) - flic.kr/p/2mPS7Ec
Imaged from La Cresecenta, CA, using William Optics GT71, Flat6AIII reducer, asi1600mm, and ZWO RGB filters.  3.75 hr integration.
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Margarita @margarita.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
71% seems low
gizmodo.com
71% of Americans Say They're Completely Exhausted
A CDC report shows that people are not feeling relaxed and restful in the United States.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Technology is cool, too bad they made it evil
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/09/2026
“Whether you’ve been sideswiped by a tractor-trailer on a two-lane road or dragged through an intersection by a furniture delivery truck, you can now easily plot a course that fully accommodates your mangled body.” — Jasmine Harper, lead product developer
theonion.com
Google Maps Introduces Crawling Directions For Cyclists Hit By Truck
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the new feature as yet another innovation to help every traveler get where they’re going, Google Maps on Thursday began offering crawling directions for cyclists who have bee...
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 02/09/2026
Trade xkcd.com/3290/
Comic. [Person standing holding hammer above raised knee.] PERSON: Listen up, leg. I’ve been sending you rich, oxygenated blood for years, while you send me worthless used-up blood with no oxygen. Time to teach you a lesson about not ripping me off! [caption] Tariffs
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Not to get too political, but it would be nice if, even for a day or so, everything could stop getting worse.
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Scott Medlock @scottmedlock.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
No he shouldn’t, he’s not the one that sucks.
static.klipy.com
Office Space Michael Bolton Disgusted
Alt: Office Space Michael Bolton Disgusted
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
WHY DO THE WRONG 80-YEAR-OLDS FROM HOME ALONE 2 KEEP DYING
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Jason Song Quinn (Comms Open) @hulkhoquinn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Think about Miss Piggy. She lost a best friend and now an ex-lover in matter of 24 hours.
Miss Piggy and Dolly Parton in fancy dresses posing together photo of Tim Curry surrounded by muppets, smiling for a photo. A quote from curry is added “it didn’t go very well. It didn’t survive the shoot. She felt I wasn’t being faithful to her” it’s him discussing his ill fated affair with miss piggy
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Tim Curry was not the 80-year-old Home Alone 2 cast member we were asking for.
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Incredible. We built a machine that can move faster than a human. Truly a watershed moment in our development as a species. This is a post about the invention of the bicycle in 1817. Also here’s a stupid robot running fast and falling down.
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Bill Amend @billamend.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I feel like the kids who did poorly in science and history class are trying to get revenge on the kids who did well at science and history class and now we’re all going to die
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Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
FUCK I'M TIRED OF THESE STUPID CRAZY ASSHOLES
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Ocarina of Time is mostly about the differences between childhood and manhood, which mainly that boils down to having three pairs of shoes that you have to cycle through regularly instead of one.
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I know it's silly to play "on pace for" games, but Baez is 23 years old. If he has a 17 year career and reaches, say, 10,000 plate appearances, he is on pace to total 10,000 home runs.
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 14/08/2026
attn:
a tuxedo cat rearing up on its hind legs making a derpy face captioned 

sorry for being weird 
it's because I'm weird
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Incredible stuff from Cards Against Humanity, who is now building a monument to interfere with SpaceX.
Why do you keep calling Elon Musk “a sad little bitch with no friends”?

Great question! (1) He is sad, (2) he is a bitch, and (3) he has no friends.

Did Elon Musk spend his 47th birthday alone, with no friends?

Yes.

Did Elon Musk beg Jeffrey Epstein for an invitation to his island, but get rejected?

Yes.

You’re saying that even the world’s most infamous pedophile didn’t want to be Elon Musk’s friend?

Yes.
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Sara Gibbs is Scary Enough Already @sararoseg.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
How is everyone not screaming about this
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Hourly Cosmos @hourlycosmos.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
NGC 1365 - A Cosmic Maelstrom in Fornax - From Rolf Wahl Olsen - flic.kr/p/2izLvCo
Here is my latest astro image; ~44 hours exposure showing the majestic barred spiral galaxy NGC 1365 located in the southern constellation of Fornax at a distance of 56 million light-years:
www.rolfolsenastrophotography.com/…/Galax…/i-QVPs5Vq

Visible in this deep image are several faint streams extending out from the main arms, especially along the Western and Southern edge of the galaxy (3 to 6 o'clock position). These may be remnants of mergers with smaller dwarf galaxies or perhaps structures within the spiral arms themselves.

The galaxy is significantly larger than our own Milky Way, with the two main spiral arms spanning up to 200,000 light-years. The symmetrical arms curve around the entire galaxy forming an almost ring-like halo. Together with the prominent central bar the arms outline an elegant Z, making NGC 1365 one of the most striking and beautiful galaxies in the sky.

Bright knots of young star clusters and red emission nebulae dot the entire galaxy, and in the centre dark dust lanes trace around a cosmic maelstrom. The active nucleus of NGC 1365 hosts a supermassive black hole with the mass of approximately 2 million solar masses and rotating near the speed of light.

In the background the entire field of view is littered with distant galaxies of various sizes and shapes. Many of these can be seen through the spiral arms and tidal streams of NGC 1365. Even a couple of very distant galaxy clusters can be seen. Many of these background galaxies are so far aw...
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Brandon Friedman @brandonfriedman.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Axios writer: I melted my brain with AI. Not only can I no longer read, but I don't even understand the purpose of reading anymore. Here's how you can also do this. www.axios.com/2026/08/11/r...
Axios: AI has become my reading buddy as I've plowed through my summer book list, helping me keep track of plots and characters, unpack themes, and make sense of wordy, old prose.

Why it matters: The way many of us actually read books — a few pages before bed, a chapter at the beach, another on a plane — makes it easy to lose the thread. AI can help you pick it back up without starting over.
📖 I really got into using AI while reading James Fenimore Cooper's "The Last of the Mohicans." The text was far too dense for casual vacation reading. My first prompt asked:

"I'd like a guide as I read The Last of the Mohicans who can help me understand what I've read and where the story is, without giving spoilers or getting ahead of my progress. Can you do this, chapter by chapter?"
The robot agreed: "Cooper's sentences are long and his diction is archaic."
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Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
AOC: Millennials are not punk kids anymore. We're grown adults with mortgages and kids, and that generation is starting to be decisive at the polls. And there is anger at being ignored, having our economic futures mortgaged by the generations that came before us and we're taking the reins
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 04/08/2026
"it looks like you're using an adblocker to visit our site." yep! ha ha! it rocks!
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Daramola @izdaramola.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I guess being mad at Fauci is much easier than dealing with the trauma of living through a pandemic and knowing a bunch of people died for no reason
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Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
but surely everyone has seen who framed roger rabbit, the popular movie that came out (checks notes) thirty years ago (double checks notes, crumbles into dust)
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Steffen Rayburn-Maarup @rayburnmaarup.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
I don't think people are ready for this kind of joke yet.
A town sign seen through a train window.
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Erika Hall @erikahall.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
It continues to fuck me up that we stay thinking about 9/11 but want to memory hole Covid so bad we're destroying the entire concept of public health in the US.
In the United States, there have been 103,436,829[3] confirmed cases of COVID-19 with 1,238,563[3] confirmed deaths, the most of any country, and the 17th highest per capita worldwide.[43] The COVID-19 pandemic ranks as the deadliest disaster in the country's history.[44] It was the third-leading cause of death in the U.S. in 2020, behind heart disease and cancer.[45] From 2019 to 2020, U.S. life expectancy dropped by three years for Hispanic and Latino Americans, 2.9 years for African Americans, and 1.2 years for White Americans.[46] In 2021, U.S. deaths due to COVID-19 rose,[47] and life expectancy fell.[48]
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
I wish someone had told me when I was younger that adults don’t actually have their shit together and everyone is still just a kid who’s faking it.
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zunderscore @zunderscore.tv · 30/07/2026
Read this. Then don't buy any ModRetro shit. Because fuck Palmer Luckey, the little shitstain.
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ghost malone ergo propter bones @proptermalone.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
imagine getting dunked on by Playboy for being weird about women’s bodies
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amy brown 👻 @amybrown.xyz · 28/07/2026
kids, i have something exciting to tell you. I just financed a cybertruck through x the everything app. also your mom left
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Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
oh look a new way to separate dimwits from their money
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 10/04/2024
remembering the greatest interview of all time
An interview with the guy who yells MORTAL KOMBAT in the theme for Mortal Kombat

interviewer: I see. will you do it over the phone?
guy: would i do it over the phone? absolutely.
interviewer: let's hear it.
guy: Mortal Kombat!
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Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Elon will post things like “buy this cardboard box full of urine, it will achieve nuclear epic anti-woke self-driving AI sentience by next Thursday” and people are perpetually shocked when the urine leaks out of the box
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The Onion @theonion.com · 21/07/2026
It Only Tuesday theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-181956…
It Only Tuesday
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Black Aziz Anansi @blackazizanansi.blacksky.app · 21/07/2026
Does anyone else not like conversing with people becauase you know that you're going to sound like a conspiracy nut by stating demonstrably true things about how society is moving?
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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I don't give a shit what the Founding Fathers thought. They also thought it was good to beat prey viciously with animal bones and to howl at a large black monolith.
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Alan Beattie @alanbeattie.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Genuinely looks as though the Spain team have brought along a satirical cardboard cutout for a laugh.
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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
is there a pulitzer for photo captions because if so @theguardian.com just won it
Gianni Infantino carefully explains to Donald Trump that he is not part of the spanish national team.
Photograph: Javier García/Shutterstock
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zach silberberg @zachsilberberg.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
THE ODYSSEY ENDING EXPLAINED: the lights coming on means it’s time to leave the theater
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Jorts (and Jean) @jortsthecat.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
We are all going to have so many kinds of diarrhea
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Quizatz Haderach @lhamilton.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I hope to live my life in such a way that if my wife set up a GoFundMe after my near death accident there wouldn't be hundreds of people saying "Fuck that guy, he still owes me $400!"
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
hey, remember: don't eat anything and don't breathe
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Brad Lander @bradlander.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
In a less deranged version of our country, skies full of smoke would inspire us to bold climate action. There’s an American majority that loves blue skies & air we can breathe more than fossil fuel profits.
The forecast for wildfire smoke showing a high smoke concentration in the Northern U.S.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 16/07/2026
What To Know About Cyclosporiasis theonion.com/what-to-know-about-cyc…
Q: How many cases have been recorded?

A: Oh, the CDC doesn’t do that anymore.
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