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Jay

@jaysbored.bsky.social
219 followers 233 following 511 posts

Not a fan of hugs. He/him

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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 23h
I don’t know how much Hugh Jackman is too much Hugh Jackman but I’m good with never again having more Hugh Jackman.
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Native Minnow @nativeminnow.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It’s like whoever painted these rocks doesn’t know me at ALL
Rock painted with the statement “you can do hard things” in pink letters in a light blue background with yellow stars scattered across A rock painted pink, with white dots and smiley faces, and red lettering that reads, “Be positive.”
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
[at second rodeo] no, no, no, none of this is right
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
to the extreme/I rock the mic like a vandal/arson is fun/pumpkin crisp/yankee candle
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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Forcing myself to sing show tunes until I feel better.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Boss: [asks me to do something] Me: [wonders how beyonce would do it] Boss: STOP WONDERING ABOUT HOW BEYONCE WOULD DO IT
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hegseth looks like the vice principal who resigns after getting caught sniffing the kids’ bicycle seats.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hegseth looks like the “LOW LOW PRICES!” guy in local mattress store commercials.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hegseth looks like he sells used cars at a dealership that accepts weekly payments.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hegseth looks like a local network weatherman but not the one you trust.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
lol the whole fucking FBI got hacked! Who do they call?
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
MySpace Tom just sold me weed.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Are the kayaks, pottery classes, and cornhole sets in the drug commercials included or do you have to buy them separately?
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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Schrodinger's Maybelline
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Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Why do men like to grill? -Play with fire -Drinking while playing with fire -Wife/significant others usually not involved -Kids not allowed near hot grill -Meat and whatnot
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ceej @ceej.online · 15/09/2026
the app for my washer and dryer just let me know the emmy’s were on
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Fair warning: we have cameras everywhere. Some are for your safety, some are for security, and some are because we're trying to find out who keeps stealing the GM's moustache combs.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
you contain multitudes, I contain doritos and impotent rage
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Welcome to Bluesky. The internet’s political outrage glory hole.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
We’re not sure if it’s a baby with an old man’s face or an old man with a baby’s body. Either way, the fourth floor is off limits until further notice.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Congratulations to Carol for winning the death pool! On a related note, Tricia from Human Resources has passed away.
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Anna Brandberg @annabrandberg.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Microwaves really should have a night mode where instead of beeping so loudly and aggressively, they just whisper hey betch your food's ready...
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
This little light of mine doesn’t work for shit.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Her: [panting] oh yeah baby, give it to me deeper, DEEPER Me: Sartre said that man is not the sum of what he has, but rather the sum of what he does not yet have
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
So far 33 Bond Girls have died across the film franchise. It’s 3,200% more dangerous fucking James Bond than *being* James Bond. Anyway…how’s your Saturday so far? Good? Don’t answer that. Nobody cares. Bond Girls are dropping like flies.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I can’t even get my employees to bring me a breakfast taco.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Please do not plan an elaborate heist of our vault. The only thing you’ll find in there is our boss’ collection of antique teeth.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
If you leave us a bad Yelp review, 3 feral cats named Wrath, Vengeance, and Mr. Tickle will visit you, and you will NOT like their review of your face.
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Rob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 18/08/2026
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oh no @ili.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
en esta economía??????
nyt cooking melissa clark seis leches cake january 21, 2020
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
still think daily about the time I was at Arby's and the person in front of me asked what the "healthy option" was, and the cashier responded "leaving"
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😱 Spooky SpectreKILLoquy 🔪 🩸 @caulimovirus.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
my dogs found dobby’s grave and dug up his carcass. they ate his femurs before i could stop them.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Our Facebook account was hacked. The "Share Your Social Security Number For a Free Stay" contest is not real.
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Willow @rockshrimp.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Fun fact: calling them the WNBA and MNBA is a fun and easy way to make some people really really mad.
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
welcome to my home, please sign here acknowledging that you have been warned to check the expiration dates
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Well, kinda don’t care about civilization collapsing now. We clearly deserve it. Let that shit burn.
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ceej @ceej.online · 05/08/2026
with apologies to the young man who left his extremely well-curated spotify account logged in on the hotel tv: if my daughter didn’t hear elmo’s alphabet rap we were all going to die
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Me: [making impt life decision] what should I do Wife: just listen to your gut Me: ok Gut: let’s get nachos Me: BYE WE’RE GOING OUT FOR NACHOS Wife: wtf just happened
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
The cool thing about A.I. is that I’m 50 years old so when the world goes to shit I’m already firmly in “I had a good run” territory.
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Jay @jaysbored.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Did you know that Tye Sheridan and Ansel Elgort are two different people and neither of them are Miles Teller? Nature’s crazy.
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Sad i.e. @sadiehatesyou.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
today's my last day working at a summer school program and all the kids were so sweet except for one boy who asked "why do u look so cool but act so lame" and now this question will haunt me to the end of my days fuck u braden
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Jeanine Pirro has been summoned to the White House, per MS Now.
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Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
There once was a man called Rod Liddle Who sat to the right of the middle The fucker's now dead And I have just read That if he was a teacher he'd diddle
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
a forehead kiss isn’t enough i want him to swallow my whole head
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a dump like this,” I ask, motioning to the entire country
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
We finally got the squirrel off of the craps table.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
what i’ve learned from ambiently listening while my husband watches silo is that they love to say the word silo
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
My review of The Odyssey (2026)

In the theater behind me there was a guy that was eating a big thing of toffee. I'm not sure how he got it in the theater, but the whole time he was turning to his wife and saying "this toffee is scrumptious!" and "I can't believe how loaded with flavor this toffee is!" and things of this nature. It was starting to get on my nerves (as well as his wife's, I'm sure) so I finally turned around to him and said "Sir you have to stop talking about your toffee. Some of us are trying to watch the movie." and he looked at me and immediately started crying. He was very sorry and it made me feel like such a jerk. I should have let him enjoy his nice toffee.

1/5 stars
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ceej @ceej.online · 31/07/2026
ANTHROPIC: Our son loves humanity and for the low price of trillions and trillions of dollars will usher in an era of unprecedented peace and prosperity! OPENAI: Our horrible oafish son is hacking web sites without our permission. ANTHROPIC: (eyes narrowing) Our son is also evil
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C. Robert Cargill @crobertcargill.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Tapping the sign.
A drawing of the Ghostbusters logo with Jared Leto in the place of the ghost reading:

STOP PUTTING JARED LETO IN THINGS!
NOBODY LIKES JARED LETO IN THINGS!
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