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jamberg

@jamberg.bsky.social
298 followers 613 following 422 posts

big baby had it all unlocked

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Reposted by jamberg
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
In anticipation of a future I pray will never come, I've written the following. Yes, even in tragedy, there is hope... mine is that this poem will heal the wounds that divide us. It is called "Elegy; or, The Fall".
ELEGY; or, The Fall

Down, down, our Titan fell,
Hands stretched outward through the air.
Behind him streaked a comet's tail,
A burning trail of flaxen hair.

A crowd of cooks around him swept
To catch his body as he flew,
But mortal hands to flesh divine
The firmest grasp they cannot do.
The finger tips grazed by the cloth
Of navy jacket, crimson tie.
They struggled for a place to hold,
But found no purchase for the try.

His head lurched forward, jutting out,
And aimed, it seemed, toward the oil
That bubbled in a fryolator. 
Fate set its arc, our dreams to foil.

A deaf'ning roar erupted then.
A rush of liquid spurted high.
The boiling splashes struck the walls
With bits of flesh and bits of fry.
For blocks around, a cry was heard,
A mighty bellow, deep and proud.
A tear was pulled from every eye.
"Our Titan!" wailed each voice aloud.

That mane of hair, the shade of gold,
Bobbed limply in the basket's foam.
A cashier spoke, "Lord, if you hear me,
Guide our mighty Titan home."

A ring of workers, some as young
As sixteen, which the law allows, 
Encircled there and touched his back,
And wept beneath their lowered brows.Then broke apart the sobbing crowd.
The manager, whose shift was done,
Stepped forth and said, "Remark this ground
For on it lies our holy one."

That golden sheen now wet with oil
Atop his head was aptly chose,
For high above, upon the roof, 
Two arches of its color rose.

And with it, rising, light as air,
A spirit that could never die.
To Heaven, to be too their King 
Look now! O! How our Titan flies!
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Joey Pause Bot 2.0 @joeypausebot.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Joey eating fast food
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Ryan McDiarmid @ryanmcdiarmid.com · 22/09/2026
A friend sent me this one last night.
Post:

unbearable experience @paso • Sep 17
...
just remembered that time i was stealth mode at a conference and this guy asked me how come i 'decided to work on trans communities as a cis gay man' and i panicked and just replied 'well, marxism' to which he just said
'right of course

Reply:

river
@KuwaCos
...
disco elysium roll
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ryan cooper @ryanlcooper.com · 05/10/2026
“You thirsty mayo ass” youtu.be/jD3PjSMgJB0?...
youtu.be
No Country for Cancelled Men (Twitter reupload)
YouTube video by Henry Krinkle
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Leezus H. Christ 🏳️‍⚧️ @langhuck.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
the maddest I've ever had anyone get in my Twitter mentions was when I made this joke about Blake Snell:
a tweet by Nikki Haley, who posted "12 fellas down, 1 to go", quoted by me, saying, "Blake Snell at the start of the 5th inning:"
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UncleofJamiroquai @jessefarrar.com · 01/10/2026
It seems quaint now that we do all our banking and race science there, but, nevertheless, it's true: at one time, people mostly wrote jokes on Twitter. 10 years ago, I wrote one about an old asshole and it kinda changed my life. Not his, though. www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/u...
cnn.com
The tweet that defined a decade of Trump | CNN
It’s been 10 years since Jesse Farrar accidentally defined a political era with one pithy, prescient tweet. He wishes it never happened.
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Noah Cohan @noahcohan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is great. Jameis's public profile makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills. "Every charming quote from Winston shared across platforms...serves as a reminder that sports media writ large appears to value those who have been accused of sexual assault rather than survivors."
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orinoco boo @nocontroller.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
get that dilly on the bonnet
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kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I…
Liv @Liv_Agar •43m
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It's remarkable how many times i've seen a Professional Take Haver on the internet go insane as a result of online criticism that starts off unreasonable but becomes increasingly more reasonable as it makes them lose their mind
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Taylor Lorenz @TaylorLorenz
X.com
You gotta just not care. I think so many people allow a small and vocal audience to shape what they say and do bc being intellectually honest and consistent in your beliefs is costly. But at the end of the day why have a platform if you won't stick to your guns
3:49 PM • 9/21/26 • 1.6K Views
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贝
Relevant v
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Constant Overboy @EthicallyG... • 13m
Girl this tweet is literally about you
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"fart" @jonhendren.com · 22/09/2024
The equinox sucks I hate it!!!!!! I care only for the solstice
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
when i'm at the plate after hitting a triple, a home run and a double in my last 3 at bats.
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
because they are loser cowards who agree with republicans about this issue. it's not complicated.
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Dan Froomkin/Press Watch/Heads Up News @froomkin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Yep. presswatchers.org/2026/07/the-...
presswatchers.org
The world’s most vocal racist will be the Republican Party’s biggest donor again. But don’t mention it. | Press Watch
Our top news organizations are covering up Elon Musk’s white supremacist propaganda
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assbutt @nasboat.org · 17/09/2026
I am so goddamn tired of this shit. support transgender people or fuck off forever
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sean @snkhn.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
defector.com/what-the-fuc...
defector.com
What The Fuck Is A "Vaccine Skeptic"? | Defector
At darker moments, contesting this kind of stuff in the wake of the 2024 election—and all the shameless, shameful, unforgivable work the American media did to produce that election’s outcome—feels as ...
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
looks like this jf is a twitch streamer. you know who else is a twitch streamer? that hasan piker guy. and there was 9/11 this week? something to think about.
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
they are laughing on our faces
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
democracy in action!
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
i've placed my vote
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
what dbj and luke described when they went would be jf's personal hell. we must get him nominated.
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Krinn DNZ @krinndnz.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
images that spring to mind unbidden, part 898: "silent protagonist meetup"
https://twitter.com/wizard0rb/status/1611453244970000384/
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Aura/Moom @moomanibe.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
anyway I leave you with what I think is the funniest bit of focus test commentary we got on wanderstop
Focus tester quote: "You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of the movie The Karate Kid. Kind of like we'er being hardheaded here to start our mission, and this guy is going to teach us skills even when we're making tea. That's probably going to lead to some amazing technique or something we all need. Hold left trigger to run."
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
photos taken seconds before disaster
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Joey Pause Bot 2.0 @joeypausebot.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Joey eating fast food
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jeb haus @drjeb.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
its my tradition to set a series of alarms to commemorate what happened on a day that i will never forget #neverforget
A series of phone alarms that are set to:
8:46am Woke up
9:03am Did 5 pull ups without crying
9:37am Barista gave me a free day-old donut
9:59am Found $5 on the ground
10:07am Charlie kirk shot
10:28am Got it wet
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Andromeda @ulveheksa.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Questionnaire by Wendell Berry
Questionnaire by Wendell Berry

1. How much poison are you willing to eat for the success of the free market and global trade?
Please name your preferred poisons.

2. For the sake of goodness, how much evil are you willing to do?
Fill in the following blanks with the names of your favorite evils and acts of hatred.

3. What sacrifices are you prepared to make for culture and civilization? Please list the monuments, shrines, and works of art you would most willingly destroy.

4. In the name of patriotism and the flag, how much of our beloved land are you willing to desecrate? List in the following spaces the mountains, rivers, towns, farms you could most readily do without.

5. State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes, the energy sources, the kinds of security, for which you would kill a child. Name, please, the children whom you would be willing to kill.
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Ash @santanaelchan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
hm everyone sure is being insane about the OoT remake. everyone except me, the only normal person who plays video games.
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👻Skulliam🎃Boo-tler🍂Yikes🕷️ @yeets.biz · 04/09/2026
yum yum gimme some
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
it's too late--i've already depicted you as the furiously destructive lois boisson and myself as the triumphantly victorious emma navarro
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Hourly Cosmos @hourlycosmos.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
W00069245-52-55-56-57 red-gr-bl-mt2-mt3 - From 2di7 & titanio44 - flic.kr/p/afq3sv
"Courtesy NASA/JPL-California Institute of Tecnology." processing 2di7 & titanio44
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Gaius (from Tribunate) @gaius.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
You’ve got to understand the WNBA’s dilemma here: on one side are the hardcore, dedicated socially liberal fanbase who supported the league during the dark days when it was barely profitable and on the other side are the people who hate women and don’t think the WNBA should exist.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
A New Color (1/5🧵)
Page 1: A man is walking home, smoking a cigarette, being quietly trailed by a UFO above him. As he enters his apartment, two aliens watch from inside the ship. Alien 1, who has a large head, says, “that’s him. Let’s move.” Page 2: The man walks upstairs as the aliens watch from the entrance of the building. The man enters his apartment and greets his little dog. Suddenly there is a knock at the door.Page 3: he peers through his peephole, and sees the two aliens standing in the hallway. Alien 1 is holding a briefcase. From behind him, the voice of alien one: “don’t scream.” Page 4: The aliens are seated across the room on the man’s couch. Sadie is in her bed next to them. Alien 1 says, “you’re not in any danger. Have a seat.” The man looks at his dog and thinks, “sadie is unusually calm.” Alien 1: don’t scream, or it’s a problem.
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maddie ★ othatsraspberry @othatsraspberry.com · 24/08/2026
hey snake, what’d ya do, get a haircut or something?
Metal Gear Solid master collection vol 2
Save data bonus
Gold camouflage old snakeSolid gold homer saying “look closer, Otacon”
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Miss Scary Tail @taildoll.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Gaming Anniversaries; on this day 10 years ago, an Xbox 360 was sold in Japan.
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
you can't be serious
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I think it's nice that the president's most trusted aide is the It's All For You Damien nurse from The Omen. She's qualified and she's doing an amazing job.
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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Whoa, an explosive new "red flag" letter from Natalie Harp to Donald Trump has been leaked. I was sitting on it for reasons I do not need to tell to a person who is like you.
Dear Mr. President,

    It's me your lovely Natalie, the one whose job is to stand near you as far as I can tell. I am blonde and thin and people knew about me as far back as three days ago. I look like one of those grandma cookies no one likes, the wafer cookies. I look like a fucking Walmart brand Great Value Vanilla Wafer that tastes like dust. I will print you a picture so you understand, my leader and my king. 

     I had surgery to remove my eyelids and they installed a "Pain Center" in the middle of my brain so I can't ever sleep again. I will use the time I used to spend on sleep to tweet racist shit for you. Anyway, got to go, my love. No point in writing any longer because I have to walk in the room and watch you tug your crooked little thumb. You know that because I just handed you this letter.

Your Wife,
Natalie Last Name, White Woman
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Jake Clover @jakeclover.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
fishing guy bad ending
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matte jones @pillowfort.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
gamers love to discover 1 x Iron Ore
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dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
the fact that john ossoff can kick off a two-day media cycle by saying that the president is uninterested in doing his job and is sleeping through meetings and traveling around with a young blonde, suggests that not enough of these guys are speaking plainly and effectively about these assholes
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jamberg @jamberg.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
sorry brother nothing on me
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Len @len.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
We honestly don't witness very many situations in 2026 where the good guys don't just win, but they windmill dunk on evil and make it very funny at the same time.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
kicking back some beers with the boys, trying to think of an obscure name to rattle off: hey do you guys remember god
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Still reeling over that Pwn Sauce!!
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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
found my copy of these hong kong one piece bootlegs from twenty five years ago where they call sanji "Sunkissed Martin"
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Morris “Day and The Time” Katz @vodkasnowflake.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
omg lol
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DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
this how the photos be lookin in headlines when a white dog kills his entire family
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Mike Petriello @mikepetriello.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
When Tammy 2 shows up in Pawnee
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Ryan Marino, MD @ryanmarino.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Taking my time to really listen and learn from the very valid concerns of the MAHA movement:
(Facebook group post screenshot)

Hi, can I drink my urine while in antibiotics?
Thanks

Don't get on antibiotics!!!
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