Reposted by HerringredJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 06/06/2026You're at black betty. I need you at bam-ba-lam 711825
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I have coworker who when I try to mentor says, “Thanks Dad!”. To which I reply, “I’m not your Dad, I’m proud of you”. 010
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 02/10/2026We are wine tasting and they keep insisting that I keep drinking the fish sex juice.  000
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I finally moved into my new, to me, house. The renovation is not done. So I am sitting in my living room actively stopping myself from offering to help the guy installing toiletss. 011
Reposted by HerringredUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 21/09/2026i only took this job in sales for a global prosthetics company so i could tell everyone that i was an international arms dealer 1823146
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 16/09/2026It’s begining to look a lot like…WTF IT’S SEPTEMBER! 000
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 14/09/2026We are packing up to move so of course we have to take the guest Sewing Machine. 010
Reposted by HerringredIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 10/09/2026The world is broken but the dik-dik is perfect 411843327
Reposted by HerringredKalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 29/08/2026I walk into a restaurant and the waiter who grated my parmesan the last time throws his apron on the floor and immediately quits. 521155
Reposted by HerringredUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 29/08/2026surely the world doesn’t need any more white assholes 15734181
Reposted by HerringredUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 27/09/2025Sadly, the brutal underground sport of kitten fighting continues to go on unabated, and remains criminally unreported. 1695164645
Reposted by Herringred852dude @852dude.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Bro. People are cool as fuck. 274164312322
Reposted by HerringredUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 11/08/2026In a suburban Home Depot parking lot, five men in orange aprons stand in a semicircle, staring at the ground. “Alas, is not one among us fit to rule?” decries the eldest. From behind them comes a small, quavering voice. “I would like to try.” They turn as one to find young Arthur of Lawn and Garden. 18471112
Reposted by HerringredEd Morrish @edmorrish.com · 26/04/2025it puts the lime in the coconut or it gets the hose again 012331
Reposted by HerringredSlenderSherbet @slendersherbet.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Please take a moment out of your day to marvel at the balletic poise, calm elegance and graceful athleticism of the panda. 1062961930
Reposted by HerringredBlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 23/07/2026I just called to say just text me 08942
Reposted by HerringredValet Parker * Las Vegas @valetparker.bsky.social · 23/07/2026Because deep down I'm truly a girl’s girl, if he ghosts you after you sleep with him, give me his number. I'll call and tell him we found your body and he was the last person to be seen with you. 1308
Reposted by HerringredDan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Dang they really got a category for everything 203285765477
Reposted by HerringredChaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Ich thynke but litel of a Mondaye bleake Tuesday grey and Wednesdaye eke Thursdaye Ich care not for thee Yet Fridaye Ich am yn love [extra groovye solo to cheere thee] Mondaye thou kanst fall awaye Tuesdaye, Wednesdaye, myne herte slaye No mirthe ys founde upon Thursdaye Yet Fridaye Ich am yn love 514745
Reposted by HerringredHeather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell.bsky.social · 24/06/2026can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool 502243375590
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Just like everyone else sometimes I wish I could shut up. 000
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 20/06/2026And the N can stand for not. So they can knock on the door and say “This is not immigration and custom enforcement. And that will really confuse and discombobulate people. 010
Reposted by Herringredsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 14/06/2026look, as a tall person i don’t really care if you’re short just don’t act all short around me ok 2029052
Reposted by HerringredTruman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 10/06/2026Captcha: Are you alone? Me: Uh. Yeah. Captcha: Kiss all the squares with butts in them. Me: What?! Captcha: You heard me. Me: [leans in to kiss the squares with butts in them] Captcha: LMFAO OMG I can't believe you did that 11712164
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 29/05/2026It’s a squirrel my lord in a flat bed ford slowing down to take a look at me. 020
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 25/05/2026This is my taping knife. There are many like it, but mine is sad. 030
Reposted by Herringredhammancheez but spooky @hammancheez.bsky.social · 16/05/2026Inside of you there are two wolves 17913
Reposted by HerringredDemocrat Cats @democratcats.bsky.social · 13/05/2026Morning Kitten “The perfect box does not exis—“ 1845568799
Reposted by HerringredZach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 06/05/2026Full proposal here: www.smbc-comics.com/comic/shenan... #smbc #comics #philosophy #shenanigans 1118225
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 07/05/2026I can’t believe he looked me square in the chest and told me he was 5’ 10”! 020
Reposted by HerringredRev. Poppy Haze 𓅋 @poppyhaze.bsky.social · 07/05/2026found this guy on Tiktok who has discovered carpenter's speed squares make an insanely satisfying noise when you bounce them off tires or wood, called @lostcoastedc on there 24794062947
Reposted by HerringredUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 29/04/2026this is word for word what my last performance review said 10799188
Reposted by HerringredSteve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 02/05/2026i scream, you scream, we all scream just another night at waffle house 28523
Herringred @herringred.bsky.social · 19/04/2026I’m really enjoying LeBron’s old guy at the Y years. 130
Reposted by Herringredpixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 13/04/2026It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for 129133053375
Reposted by HerringredBryan Edward Stone (שָׁלוֹם) @bestonetx.bsky.social · 23/03/2026Trump has issued a stern warning to Iran that if the Strait of Hormuz isn't fully open within twenty-four hours, he's going to demolish another piece of the White House. 1204
