goofnor @goofnor.bsky.social · 13hIn the beginning, the machines said, “Hello, this is Gary from member services.”static.klipy.comALT: 010
Reposted by goofnorWendy @wendyb07.bsky.social · 19/05/2026Come on grandma, let’s get you back online 05923
Reposted by goofnorRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I missed something. Hey but at least none of it got into my eyes. 02514
Reposted by goofnorRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026If someone says they love you to death it's best to stop and check for weapons. 17944
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 17/09/2026those after school specials have failed us all spectacularly 712749
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 23hI find your lack of silliness seriously disturbing 715763
Reposted by goofnorlos 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 27/09/2026We should have treated ai like a virus outbreak 1213250
Reposted by goofnorDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I’m in such a bad mood that my cats decided they should clean their own litter boxes. 1118855
Reposted by goofnorcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I have a much greater tolerance and affection for nonhuman jerks. 45518
Reposted by goofnorJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026We're getting the kind of storm here that would give Heathcliff a raging boner. 58937
Reposted by goofnorFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026hello 911 nothing will remove the bubbles from this screen protector please send a new phone 29014
Reposted by goofnorFrenchy's After Dark @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 17hIn 27 days I will be sipping cocktails in the caldera of an active volcano in Bali 1133
Reposted by goofnorMisery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Plants teach you about you, if you’re listening. 06030
Reposted by goofnorBogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Just how big we talking because I’d really like to go home. 3252127
goofnor @goofnor.bsky.social · 29/09/2026we made stupid people famous and now the future is looking really stupid 0107
goofnor @goofnor.bsky.social · 28/09/2026SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! It’s Columbo vs. Leonard Nimoy on PPV!!! (ok, blu ray) 020
Reposted by goofnorBraden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 27/09/2026The message this Chinese restaurant is sending by delivering my dinner with three fortune cookies enclosed is extremely passive-aggressive 36713
Reposted by goofnorSewzinski @sewzinski.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Setting up shots for a still life and the cat honed in on the sun’s laser beam that reflected off my phone and onto the vase. #photography #cat #sunset 072
Reposted by goofnorSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/09/2026“Is that real?” I ask, pointing at everything. 616460
Reposted by goofnorblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I dare you to answer this with full honesty: how are you 335422
Reposted by goofnorDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 24/09/2026The universe told me I was right in a very subtle way 915353
Reposted by goofnorcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I’m permeable and temporary, what else do you want? 610653
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 22/09/2026nothing is more beautiful than something not trying to be anything else 313761
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Sometimes when I'm joking, I'll secretly be wishing I wasn't serious 310450
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Stephen Hawking wrote out the secrets of the universe without the use of his body, but you can't text me back 315461
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Under just the right lighting it looks like I have my shit together 717177
Reposted by goofnorJax @ehhjax.bsky.social · 26/09/2026All the cool kids go for long evening strolls and talk to the moon 04017
Reposted by goofnorslate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026it’s always whatsapp and never howsapp 310917
Reposted by goofnorUSER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 25/09/2026hey what the fuck 1029391
Reposted by goofnorFootslip @rictusgrin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I think the trick is to develop a complex hive mind. 066
goofnor @goofnor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026plot twist: this tv show about stage 4 cancer is hilarious 021
goofnor @goofnor.bsky.social · 26/09/2026eager to give away your paycheck? online gambling has got your back. 010
Reposted by goofnorMoby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 25/09/2026he broods within his sternward cabin, builded over the dead water of the wake, and further on, hunted by its wolfish gurglings 1557
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 24/09/2026well well well if it isn’t that thing I finally stopped looking for 421180
Reposted by goofnorSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 25/09/2026gained access to your browsing history please respond 96029
Reposted by goofnorblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Have you ever thought about what your eyeballs are made of 134616
Reposted by goofnorJohn Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Kids today will never understand the joy of not knowing things instantly. 313744
Reposted by goofnor[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Is it wrong on a first date to not disclose that you love the film Yentl 87124
Reposted by goofnorSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Look man, I don’t care how fast you can do the math in your head. If an old guy takes out his calculator and starts punching numbers you’ve got to let him finish 1020349
Reposted by goofnorcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026That’s cute, and by cute I mean dumb. 34316
