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Witchy

@f0p.uk
836 followers 264 following 2K posts

Geordie exiled to the Flatlands. Old b3ta photoshopper of yore. Chief 8-bit wrangler at binarydinosaurs.co.uk. Please don’t be offended if I don’t follow back when your profile is empty or your timeline is overtly political.

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Witchy @f0p.uk · 09/10/2026
Confessions Of A Driving Instructor Die Hard One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest On The Buses
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 09/10/2026
‘Still got it’ I whisper as I enter the Authenticator code with 2 seconds to spare before it refreshes.
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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 06/10/2026
#VanityFair
Vanity fair cover with Sam Altman stealing everything
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 06/10/2026
Note to self: begin all meetings with ‘hello Bone colleagues’
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
SHOP ME: Hello, have you got any Quorn? S: Yes, what variety? ME: on the Quob? S: Please leave
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 01/10/2026
No ring.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 01/10/2026
The one problem with being known as Witchy is that I should probably change my handle for every other month of the year.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 01/10/2026
Seeing @orkneylibrary.bsky.social post reminded me we were there last week spotting filthy book titles 😆
Picture of an idiot outside Orkney Library in Kirkwall. A fine building full of fine books. Hur hur ‘Anal’
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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

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Wide shot of the BRITISH MUSEUM. There are suggestions of fascism around the streets - tanks, barricades, an Orwellian 'Big Brother'-style poster on a wall. A voice of a TOUR GUIDE emanates from the museum:

TOUR GUIDE:
So the Tapestry tells acrucial chapter of our nation's history...

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[Cut to interior of museum. A long Bayeaux-style TAPESTRY is on display, and the Tour Guide is speaking to a tour group]

TOUR GUIDE [smiling]:
How modern fascist Britain was created. 

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TOUR GUIDE:
The Tapestry begins here with the 2008 Crash, then austerity, then the AI Crash...

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TOUR GUIDE:
...and by the end of the room it's just full-on fash. 

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CHILD IN TOUR GROUP [gesturing to the tapestry]:
What's this middle bit?

TOUR GUIDE:
This is the 2026 Battle of Legitimate Concerns 

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TOUR GUIDE:
[show a reporter standing next to the Dover protests]
Here's the media saying the government have got to do something about the legitimate concerns...

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CHILD:
...About the failure of capitalism?

TOUR GUIDE:
No about brown people on boats

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CHILD:
[pointing at boats crossing the sea on the tapestry]
Are these boats the mega-dinghies?

TOUR GUIDE:
Not all of them

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[we see one of the boats  is a giant yacht]
TOUR GUIDE:
That one's a superyacht,
carrying money from the American fascists to the British ones.

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TOUR GUIDE:
You see really it's as much a story of convergence as it is of conflict.

[An alarm sounds in the museum]
DING DING DING DING 

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TOUR GUIDE:
Ok, tour over everyone 

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TOUR GUIDE:
It's time for the Two Minute Hate!

[They all leave the museum]

[ends]
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Viz Comic @vizcomic.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz358bs
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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 03/09/2026
openai engineers are currently gathered around the office, taking it in turns to shout “HOW DO I FIX YOU?” and crying when there’s no answer
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Well, the shop’s never been the same since K-smog and Batboy were caught flipping a grunt in there, has it?
A young woman looks at camera above a headline that reads “Amelia Dimoldenberg to close doors of Chicken Shop Date”
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 03/09/2026
Hey @edmorrish.com I’m heading in for a news quiz later. Given that it’s nigh on 20 years since I last did this and Auntie Beeb has been rebuilt is it still the same old way in?
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 31/08/2026
Introduce yourself with 10 acts you’ve seen live. No particular order. The Macc Lads The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing Killdozer Sheep On Drugs Daisy Chainsaw Carter USM Chas n Dave Richard Cheese John Shuttleworth I, Ludicrous
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 28/08/2026
Any guesses that this will be like the Wonka Experience?
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 27/08/2026
Downgrade a movie Punch Bill
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Red Sky At Night / Joanne Sheppard @redskyatnight.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I assume this Chinese company used some kind of random word generator for this brand name
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 25/08/2026
Name five albums that helped shape you… Ultravox! Slayer - Reign In Blood Anthrax - Among The Living Killing Joke - Night Time Cardiacs - A Little Man And A House And The Whole World Window And a whole lot more.
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Boomers on FB three years ago: I DO NOT GIVE FB PERMISSION TO COLLECT OR USE MY DATA Boomers on FB today: *uses ChatGPT for every single photo edit*
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 23/08/2026
Dear local mogs, Thanks for the headless rat next to my car, how thoughtful. Cheers Witchy
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FR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 29/12/2023
ME: is this a date? it feels like a date MICROSOFT EXCEL: i have no idea
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 19/08/2026
Some stuff just fell from the sky completely unbidden! The ground has changed colour! Is it a message from the gods? #eek #yikes
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 17/08/2026
People using the term ‘picky bits’ #Names
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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Sweet baby Jebus, that’s just one misspelling away from internet infamy.
Goaste brand pet equipment.
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Angry People in Local Newspapers @apiln.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
That’s stupid. They can’t even see over the steering wheel.
Lobster blamed for drink driving
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Pᴜʀᴇ Dᴇᴀᴅ Gᴀᴍɪɴɢ @puredeadgaming.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
The results of the video I posted earlier was this iconic shot 👏 Danny León and his crew smashed it.
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Celeste Labedz @celestelabedz.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I wouldn't call myself a cartoonist, but I had the vision and just needed it to be on paper to the best of my ability.
A hand drawn eight panel cartoon. First two panels are a colander sitting frowning on a shelf. Then the colander is frowning straining pasta, then three more panels of frowning sitting on a shelf. Then a big panel where it's projecting a bunch of crescent eclipse shapes and smiling with speech bubbles around saying "Wow! Look! Amazing! Beautiful!" And then one final panel where it's sitting on a shelf smiling.
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Marco Langbroek @marcolangbroek.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Very happy with this result. Combination of #eclipse images (time lapse) with 35 mm lens, one image per 5 minutes, from #Leiden, the Netherlands. Old Leiden Observatory bottom right.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 13/08/2026
John Carpenter’s ’The Melt’, in cinemas soon.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 12/08/2026
Am I doing this right?
An idiot, earlier, standing with his back to the sun and with a colander on his head.
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ianthemouthofmadness.fenrisgames @fenrisgames.com · 10/08/2026
did you know meta glasses are designed to be safe and suitable as eclipse viewers? pass it on
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Peter Gordon 🇺🇦 @gordon.plus · 05/08/2026
*deep sigh*
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 04/08/2026
And in a packed programme tonight…
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TheBossRoss 🧶 @thebossross.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
If women wore smart glasses, they'd be banned. (soigomaa/x) Think about it. If millions of women wore smart glasses, recording men's behaviour, conversations, comments, their driving & bar chats ... can you imagine the panic? Trust me, smart glasses would be regulated before you can say 'Meta'.
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Each of our golf course holes is named after one of the owner’s children except for hole 15, Mr Peanut, which is named after his cause of death
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 02/08/2026
The replies 😄
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jessamyn @librarian.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I work at a public library. People who want to use AI seem to have no trouble doing so. People who don't want to use AI have a harder time. I crowdsourced and then finalized this document "How to disable or avoid intrusive AI" and then gave it a short URL: notoai.org Please pass along if it's useful
An aircraft passenger oxygen mask: a drop down passenger mask with air bag and yellow plastic mouth and nose cover, oxygen tube has been cut; Demonstration model used by flight attendant crew for passenger instruction. Has text on the side indicating that it's non-functional.
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Neil @enanem.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I see you Madeley, with Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass. I see you Madeley…
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 24/07/2026
I learned recently that this was A Thing, and there’s even a Mac version where they try to make you open a terminal.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 24/07/2026
It’s well known that the Loch Ness Monster was invented by Dennis Monster in 1853 as a distraction for the many bears roaming the shores of the Loch. When a hapless tourist happened upon a bear they could point at the water and shout ‘Monster!’ to distract the animal while they made their escape.
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 24/07/2026
As any fule no, rice cakes are made from grains of rice that have been glued together using gorilla glue, that is glue made of the secretions of the ancient Gorillus Adhesivium of Mesopotamia, which are extracted from the secret glue mines by sticky chimps. Rice cakes can be used to stop flooding.
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
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👻👹 boo-rit 👹👻 @britculpsapp.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
“wednespoop” — source cited: bigchode’s instagram
google on ai mode 

how many days of the week have poop in it
2 sites
Only one day of the week contains the word "poop" hidden inside its spelling.
Instagram • bigchode...
That day is Wednesday, because the letters p-o-o-p appear exactly in that sequence when you spell it out:
Instagram • bigchode...
• Wednespoop
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
You had me at “My most ardent wish is for AI to perish in a ball of fire.”
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Felicity Hannah @felicityhannah.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
My son just told me is favourite sentence is: “I didn’t say we should kill him” because if you emphasise each different word it changes the entire meaning
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Nanoraptor @nanoraptor.danamania.com · 17/07/2026
Torment Nexus LLC, the professional's choice.
A flyer for a heavily corporate company named TORMENT NEXUS LLC. They appear to be advertising ways to make life so much harder, but couched in so much corporate language it looks like a damned good deal.
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LF Lightning-Barugh @cheeseford.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
INFLUENCER TWATS: STOP HOLDING CLIP-ON LAVALIER MICROPHONES IN YOUR HANDS
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Witchy @f0p.uk · 16/07/2026
Pronouncing ‘pinecone’ the same way you say ‘Persephone’
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NE Ohio Regional Sewer District @neorsd.org · 13/07/2026
RIP Sam Neill. you will be remembered.
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