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Geraint

@geraintg.bsky.social
1.5K followers 680 following 873 posts

I'm not crying over spilt milk, I'm weeping for the plight of unborn cheese

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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 8h
As it's National Poetry Day, I'll punt this one again There once was a young man from Harrow Who tried to have sex with a sparrow The sparrow said "no, you can't have a go because the hole in my arse is too narrow"
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 8h
SHOP ME: Hello, have you got any Quorn? S: Yes, what variety? ME: on the Quob? S: Please leave
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
🎶Egrets, I've had a few Which is why I'm banned🎶 🎶From the zoo-be-doo-be-doo🎶 Frank Sinatra: Singer Ornithophile Pervert
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The hardest part of getting a job as a fluffer was beating off the competition.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
"If the doors of perception are cleansed, you can make a start on the windows, and make sure you get right in the corners." William Blake's mum. 1976 - 1978.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Highlights from my copy of the Trapdoor annual 1987
Trapdoor annual 1987
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
'70s football: when men were so tough, they'd play with the head of a decapitated skier.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Coquelicot J by Jasper Conran at Debenhams
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I'm sorry, I haven't been well recently. I went to Twitter and I think I might have caught something
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Last client of the week cancelled. So there's nothing else for it but to retreat to the shed and ponder the rainfall #shed #shedlife #shedwardwoodwood
A view from the inside of my shed
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
He loves Fiona Bruce
A cat, watching Fiona Bruce on television
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Reposted by Geraint
Beau @drbeaubeaumont.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
An unlikely superhero, to be sure…
A lorry, with the word ASSMANN written on its trailer in huge letters.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
give me a single image from a film that immediately makes you hear a song from the soundtrack in your head
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Although mooses aren't indigenous to all parts of Canada, they can be found elkswhere
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Reposted by Geraint
Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
"My dog does magic tricks." "Really? What breed is he?" "He's a labracadabrador."
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Behold my new shed
Geraint's new shedA sign showing the Motorhead emblem which reads 'Motorshed Place of Spades'
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Poet, author, miner, soldier
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
What's your sign?
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Ray Brooks
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Random shit you find in the shed #randomshityoufindintheshed
A sticker, featuring John Taylor off of Duran DuranAn Action Man doll in a glass jar
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
♠️THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT, BABY I DON'T WANT TO LIVE FOREVER♠️
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I've just been appointed Minister for Indifferent Capybara
A capybara, in a pond, facing away from the camera
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
It's not as warm today as it has been recently #BurnhamOut
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HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 06/07/2026
Dot is still troubled by her decision to let Nick die of a Heroin overdose.
Dot Cotton at Wimbledon looking sad
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
There's nothing new about that refcam effect. I was doing that with Special Brew 30 years ago
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Andy Burnham announces a new minister for The North.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I will gladly accept Andy Burnham as our next Prime Minister, as long as someone in a fox costume supports his every public appearance
Prospective Prime Minister candidate, Andy Burnham, and a person in a fox costume
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
London New York Paris Munich Everybodytalkabout Pop Musik
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
THERAPIST. "Just take your time and show me on the doll.. " PINOCCHIO. "I don't think you quite understand, mate.."
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
🎵Her penis, her penis, the greatest gift that I posses I thank the Lord that I've been blessed With more than my share of her penis🎵
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Yep
An envelope with my name and NB PLEASE HANDLE WITH CARE, EXTREMELY FRAGILE,THANKS printed on it
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
I hope those £13.75 memory insoles aren't as good as they're advertised, because I've just called them a pair of overpriced twats and told them to fuck off.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
I see yer dad's bouncing back after the divorce. Given himself a new nickname
An advert for a BBC True Crime programme titled "The Sausage Factory Hitman"
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Yer dad revs his trolley when Meat Loaf comes on the in store radio
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
You know you're middle aged when the best buzz you've had in ages is staying up late for the cooler temperatures
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Neil @enanem.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
🎶Round the Ole Oak Tree…🎶
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
When I was married I used to watch porn on rewind so I could fantasise about a woman putting her clothes on and leaving the house on time.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
I'd rather not, thank you very much.
A picture of a shark with the caption 'Dingle the Tiger Shark'
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
These rappers names are getting weirder
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
I found a tired and confused bumble bee crawling around my kitchen earlier but I refused to give it anything because they only spend it on drink.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Found in Aisle 3 of B&Q. You might need some help getting it in the boot of your car.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Zapruder
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
I refused to watch the Grand National as my principles preclude me from participating in the exploitation of animals that don't taste very nice.
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Falco there, sporting the confidence that can only come from knowing you'll never be Austria's worst export #totp
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Sinister nonce buffet #totp
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
I'm having supper again later. Geraint 1 Jesus 0
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Twlldun @twlldun.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Because of woke
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
They're not going to tell us what it is, though.
A picture of a cat wearing a white coat, stethoscope, and spectacles.
The caption reads 'cats may hold the key to treating human cancer'
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Geraint @geraintg.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
You had Summer last week. Put your anorak on.
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