iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Here are my suggestions for how to punish Manchester City

Possible Punishments for Manchester City

1. The Goat Punishment
The Manchester City goalkeeper must hold a baby goat in his hands for the next 100 matches. If he drops or discards the goat, or attempts to place the goat in a backpack that he then wears, the opposing team will be awarded a penalty and the goalkeeper will have to hold an adult goat.

2. The Giant Boot Punishment
All of the football boots of the Manchester City players are replaced with boots that are four sizes too big for their feet. If any player attempts to remove his giant boots and play in his socks, the whole team will have to put on new boots that are five sizes too big for their feet.

3. The Puzzle Punishment
Before a Manchester City player is allowed to take a shot towards the opposition's goal, that player must solve a puzzle. It could be a crossword puzzle, a jigsaw, that day's Wordle or even an unsolved murder case. They won't know beforehand. Until they have completed the puzzle, they are prohibited from shooting.

4. The Nickelback Punishment
A Nickelback album is played on the PA system throughout every Manchester City match. “But won't this be annoying to the opposition too?” you ask. No because they'll be allowed to wear noise-cancelling headphones to block out the terrible noise.

5. The Large Coat Punishment
For every match, all Manchester City players must wear a large coat. “That doesn't sound so bad,” I hear you say. Well, that's because you're not imagining a large enough coat. It would be huge. Like a very, very long wedding dress (and they're not allowed to hire bridesmaids to help hold it up). I really can't adequately describe how large this coat would be but just take my word for it – it's a really big coat.

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Dave Vetter @davidrvetter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Happy Kicked In The Head By A Horse Day, to all who celebrate. It's the 7th anniversary of this absolute banger.

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Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 10/09/2026

Some of those that work forces Are the same that fuck horses

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👻BOOryan BlessDeAd🎃 @bryb.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

People be criticising the BBC for not screening edgy new comedy but they low-key be dropping content like this:

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Got sunburnt in Iceland, which I think makes me the whitest person in the world?

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Ben "Ben Pack" Pack @packbenpack.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

If you pick Crimson Desert to be your game of the year, that’s like saying your favorite restaurant is the buffet because it has the most food.

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woke stifler @yelix.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

it’s crazy that Sam Altman didn’t go to turbo prison for 10,000 years the first time someone killed themselves because of ChatGPT

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⚸ Gingersnapped 🐺🌕🎃 @gingerspiced.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset" U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians*

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Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I don't want to criticise online bakers (many of whom I respect) but one trend I dislike is when they use “tsp” and “tbsp” in the same recipe. Yes, it's nice to add variety to the wording of your recipe but since they mean the same thing, you should pick one and just stick with it.

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

They're not even the best in the world at baseball.

A Wikipedia screenshot of the World Baseball Classic, showing the most recent winner to be Venezuela and the country with the most titles to be Japan.

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Alex Navarro @alexnavarro.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

were up to me I probably wouldn't eliminate physical media for my forthcoming console right on the heels of delisting hundreds of digital movies from people's libraries and while on the cusp of a world historical digital storage supply squeeze, but I guess that's why they get paid the big bucks.

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Jason Schreier @jasonschreier.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

"We're ending physical disc production, but don't worry — we're ALSO shutting down our digital stores!" blog.playstation.com/2026/07/01/a...

blog.playstation.com

An update on PlayStation Store for PS3 and PS Vita

Changes start this year in select markets, followed by global changes in 2027.

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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

I’m going to miss Keir Starmer because he was the last Prime Minister in a while that you could do a convincing impression of. He sounded like if a muppet had allergies.

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

I do not recognise either of those

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Zoë “Baddie Proctor” Quinn @unburntwitch.com · 13/06/2026

it is kind of insulting to the entire craft of UI/UX design (and accessibility in general) to pretend that it has no value via a lack of it being a simple matter of "just get over it"

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

wow pork belly is so good wait hang on why does my chest hurt

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Cube (1997, Dir. Vincenzo Natali) @prototypecube.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

when arsenal win it's because zohran mamdani supports them and when arsenal lose it's because kier starmer supports them, know the rules

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Alasdair Beckett-King @misterabk.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Americans think British people are wimps for complaining about the heat. But what you don't realise is that most British houses were actually built in Britain, a cursed island that hates us.

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Can't lose 2000 seats if they don't exist

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

Oh shit they've abolished councils.

The BBC's display of council seat numbers before any councils have declared, meaning every party currently has 0 seats.

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, got instincts only. Better Call Saul Breaking Bad The Good Place Mad Men House Fargo Big Mouth Parks and Recreation Black Mirror Doctor Who (Eccleston & Tennant) Taskmaster The Simpsons The Sopranos Come Dine With Me University Challenge

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

Lol second place isn't even a real dinosaur

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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Here is an easy solution: Food stains are humiliating, as they suggest you're a little baby who can't feed themselves. Oil stains, such as those you'd get from working on your car, suggest you're tough, independent, and skilled. Thus, simply cover your food stains with used motor oil.

A white garment with some kind of food stain. Humiliating.

A pair of dirty hands rest on a car engine. Rough, tough, cool.

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Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 30/03/2026

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

Headline:
Dow rises 300 points after Trump says U.S. in ‘serious' talks to end operation in Iran

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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

It’s a good day to revisit this Ursula Le Guin quote. In the best possible reality, Earthsea would be the dominant fantasy series for children.

“I have no great opinion of [JK Rowling’s writing style]. When so many adult critics were carrying on about the “incredible originality” of the first Harry Potter book, I read it to find out what the fuss was about, and remained somewhat puzzled; it seemed a lively kid’s fantasy crossed with a ‘school novel’, good fare for its age group, but stylistically ordinary, imaginatively derivative, and ethically rather mean-spirited.”

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SMD's pension @anothersmd.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

at home is still prison to him cos he's away from his beloved hospital

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 23/03/2026

Was looking to see if maglev model trains exist, found this reddit post and now I can't get the phrase "I am a simple man who requires the fast" out of my head.

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Supper Mario Broth @mariobrothblog.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

In Super Mario Odyssey, many Goombas can be stacked. The limit for a legitimate Goomba stack is 30, as they will stop spawning afterwards. Manually spawning more Goombas reveals that the limit for an illegitimate Goomba stack is 200. At 201 Goombas, the game crashes.

Biggest legitimate Goomba stack
30 Goombas before new Goombas stop spawning
Biggest illegitimate Goomba stack
200 Goombas; 201 Goombas crashes the game
Source: YouTube users "BeardBear", "Skelux", youtube.com/watch?v=3NZIESW06Gk, youtube.com/watch?v=MoQNM3VEJ5w

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Noelle Palmer @noelleevepalmer.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

I gotchu veebs

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

Oh shit there's a fire doggo starter I might have to play pokemon again

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 11/10/2023

before i got banned from this online poker site i used to tell people i was driving the whole time i was playing and they always lost their shit

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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 09/11/2025

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

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Son of Bengt (Halloween edition) @sonofbengt.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

Still the greatest video ever made. Sorry. I don't make the rules...

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It's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 20/01/2026

Gaming doesn’t count as screen time. Gaming is books. Unless it’s on your phone - that is screen time. Movies are books unless they are Marvel, who produce screen time. Television is screen time.

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

Or is it the single face that observed a thousand Torment Nexuseseses? ... Nexi?

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

Had to refresh myself on the back story because I was wondering whether this was another Torment Nexus deal, but no Bentham was actually going around saying "check out this sick idea for a prison I thought of"

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

"The Labour Home Secretary wants to build an AI-driven panopticon for the entire country" was not on my bingo card for this year, but I'm honestly not surprised

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ceej @ceej.online · 11/01/2026

By now, asteroid 2026 Dreadstone has impacted the Indian Ocean, sparking a firestorm not seen on this planet since the K–Pg Extinction Event. Most people just want to be with their families. Here are three ways effective business leaders can leverage targeted KPIs to turn tragedy 😔 into triumph 💪

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Dave Small @derve.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Imagine writing on your acting resume "I'm the bloke that sang 'diarrhoeaaa-HA' in the pepto-bismol advert"

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Sir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

The numbers are in and I can finally reveal the end-of-year stats for 2025: - Congrats to fans of the Assassination of Julius Caesar! 🗡️🏆 - 11th place up to 2nd place ⬆️ - Pompeii vs Mt Vesuvius makes the top 4 🌋 - The human ear finishes in Jth 👂 - Enthusiasm/Shoes finally makes it into the top 9b 🤯

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