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Bert Dalziel

@bertdalziel.bsky.social
252 followers 264 following 433 posts

Britain’s best and most influential bluesky account. You’re influenced already.

PostsRepliesMedia
Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Donald Trump is 80. Age is by no means disqualifying by itself and people vary, but those entering real old age often experience a general cognitive and physical decline. It’s not irrelevant.
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Daniel Sugarman @danielsugarman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO USE THE MEME.
A very weird person trying to defend the deeply awful individual who appears to have absolutely no regret still seeing as her close friend a man who admitted planning to bomb civilians at Heathrow airport after he originally denied it but then messages were found between him and a senior Al Qaeda commander where the commander talks to him about 'when you bomb the airport'Oh we all like a bad boy though, don't we?
Yeah, not a fucking terrorist though, Chris
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
and miles to go before i sleep and miles to go before i sleep
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
ikea should have little kiosks giving out plastic cups of water and energy gels, like in marathons
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Screamer Jim @screamerjim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I mean they weren't alone were they
Childminder who left 27 children alone in her home pleads guilty to neglect
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Dmitry Grozoubinski @explaintrade.com · 06/10/2026
Unlike these woke gay pedos I spend my time owning the libs by doing traditional, masculine family values activities: obsessively following Malfoid, a romantacy fanfiction comic starring the feminized version of a teenaged school boy.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
the four stages of tiny son won’t go to bed
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General Boles @generalboles.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
HAVE YOU BEEN MIS-SOLD THE END OF HISTORY? #CPC26
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Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The talking heads on CNN are discussing the firing squad "making a comeback" and it's one of those things where yeah, the guy they're shooting now probably deserves it but as a general rule, "The firing squad is making a comeback," is the sort of sentence that sets off your Spidey sense, y'know?
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
another day, another round of putting all our worldly possessions into cardboard boxes in prep for trying to sell our stupid house
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh god
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Shut up Scottish Green co-leader Ross Greer, says me.
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Ian Martin @ianmartin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
As ever, and for the last time in connection with lying shit Jeffrey Archer, we remember Monica Coghlan, whose life he destroyed.
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Marina @marstrina.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Every time I see a pheasant it is quite clear that their inner monologue is ‘oh fuck, I’ve left the gas on! I’ve left it on, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’
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Mrs Quent @quarkquent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Would legitimately love to have a centre left party who was genuinely completely committed to reversing (or at the very least halting) climate change and the degradation of our planey. Does such a party exist? No.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
please enjoy: my pets lie on things they’re not supposed to - an occasional series
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Would not making a conceptual differentiation between being ‘english’ as a civic identity and ‘english’ as an ethnic group (insofar as that is an actual thing) be useful here? I mean it’s not an ethnostate, right?
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Kate Sills @katelynsills.com · 04/10/2026
When I lived in the Bay Area, there were streets with a ton of glass on the ground. Those were the streets where you didn't want to park overnight or have anything in the car, because car thieves would break your window. I think most people can see that this is a failed state. This isn't normal.
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Jay Zedbee @jayzedbee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
me when i am bisexual
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Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 30/09/2026
I read a great short story once positing that the afterlife was like a big airport that you have to wait around in. You only get to leave when the last person on earth forgets your name. Genghis Khan and Hitler were really fucked. Also the now-forgotten people who had streets named after them.
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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The Game Detective @gamedetective.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Look man. You got to trust the process. Fucking around is the first step. Finding out comes later, but you HAVE to go in order.
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noam @noamchompers.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
philosophers should have simply *answered* the deepest and most intractable questions ever posed. instead they've chosen to fuck around. disappointing
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sianushka.bsky.social @sianushka.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Impossible to read without crying The last villager: 88-year-old’s fight for survival in Ukraine’s blasted north www.thetimes.com/article/8d12...
thetimes.com
The last villager: 88-year-old’s fight for survival in Ukraine’s blasted north
As Russia laid waste to her home, Hanna Panych refused to leave her goats and lived for months under constant bombardment in the ‘grey zone’
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
be one of the last days sitting in this garden - last rays of the year
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Paul Hünermund @p-hunermund.com · 03/10/2026
Evidence on taxing the rich from Scandinavian countries www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=...
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
‘we’re all from Manchester, now’
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
here’s another unfalsifiable explanatory framework: the person writing this in fact was a pain in the ass and the other person got tired of them hence being pissed off in the end.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It is right that things are paywalled. People should be paid. But I (and vast majority of people) are not going to take out a subscription to every damn thing. Surely there is a way for us to pay a small fee to read the article without taking a subscription?
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economymedicine.bsky.social @economymedicine.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The idea that you have to watch uncensored snuff films on repeat to understand what is happening and is virtuous is one of the most destructive things going on right now. It doesn't actually teach them anything and actively ruins their mental health.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It’s a vexed moral issue and I am not sure how it can be made to work in practice given the fallibility of human nature and the shortcomings of the state. I don’t think enough consideration has been given to second order effects. Sausages.
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Dan Thomas @itsdanthomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The most disappointing video you’ll see today.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
breaking news: i am very tired and have absent-mindedly made myself both coffee and tea in the same mug. It is an abomination unto the lord.
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
No. Please fuck off techcrunch.com/2026/10/01/a...
techcrunch.com
Audible's new features let you explore book worlds — and use AI to talk to characters | TechCrunch
Audible is rolling out new features that help listeners keep track of characters, explore places and imagery mentioned in books, and even interact with characters using generative AI.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
same, yeah
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 02/10/2026
READING SOMEONE SAYING LICHTENSTEIN WAS A TALENTLESS HACK PIECE OF SHIT: oh yea absolutely READING SOMEONE LAYING OUT IN CONVINCING TERMS WHY HIS WORK IS INTERESTING: oh right forgot about that READING A DIFFERENT PERSON CALLING HIM A HACK: fuck him READING ANOTHER ARGUMENT ABOUT WHY HE'S GOOD: oh y
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
is there ever not a queue at the post office
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
ah man, I just got rid of our bags packing the house up to sell it. It’s all over for me. youtube.com/shorts/22tLt...
youtube.com
Emergency in ireland
YouTube video by Garron
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
quite stingy
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Paul van der Meer @paulvandermeer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Dutch government started replacing Windows and Office by its own Linux and open-source suite called MijnBureau (My office) to cut ties with Microsoft.
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Jo Wolff @jowolff.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Honestly, if Hesgeth wants to make his troops fighting angry he should just tell them what their mortgage payments are about to be.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
”Half the UK population live in areas no wealthier than the poorer parts of the former East Germany, poorer than parts of central and Eastern Europe, and poorer than the US states of Mississippi and West Virginia.”
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David Higham @oldtrotter.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
History is written by the victors. Thatcher broke the power of trade unions by mass unemployment, industrial restructuring, frittered away N Sea Oil, laid the foundations for the current housing crisis, decimated local bus services, hollowed out local government and introduced the poll tax.
Simon Clarke 

Andy Burnham seems to remember a different 1970s to the rest of us. Britain in 1979 was utterly broken - ravaged by unaccountable trade union power, economically stagnant, the sick man of Europe.
The 1980s saw a remarkable national recovery based on free enterprise, the rule of law and championing Western values. And it is this that our Prime Minister rails against...
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
the school whatsapp chat now has 90 unread messages so I’m extraditing myself to Spain or somewhere
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I have DOMS 2 days after doing exercise - this is unacceptable
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becca @boodleoops.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
As a feminist, you know you’re doing something right when you criticise misogynistic elements of the culture, and men talk about you like this. Women who identify misogyny have been caricatured as joyless hags forever
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
we’re putting our house on the market - moving somewhere else in edinburgh - and man, it’s just such a bigger job to get everything packed than you think it’s going to be
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reni 🦌 @reniadeb.com · 25/09/2026
this is just to say i have eaten the moon that was in my orbit and which you were probably wanting to observe forgive me it was delicious so crunchy and so cold
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