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Bert Dalziel

@bertdalziel.bsky.social
252 followers 264 following 433 posts

Britain’s best and most influential bluesky account. You’re influenced already.

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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
but it’s not his wrinkles, is it? I explicitly said that. It’s the increasing likelihood as people enter true old age that they will experience cognitive and physical decline. If you’re going to pretend you don’t understand not much to say.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Donald Trump is 80. Age is by no means disqualifying by itself and people vary, but those entering real old age often experience a general cognitive and physical decline. It’s not irrelevant.
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Daniel Sugarman @danielsugarman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO USE THE MEME.
A very weird person trying to defend the deeply awful individual who appears to have absolutely no regret still seeing as her close friend a man who admitted planning to bomb civilians at Heathrow airport after he originally denied it but then messages were found between him and a senior Al Qaeda commander where the commander talks to him about 'when you bomb the airport'Oh we all like a bad boy though, don't we?
Yeah, not a fucking terrorist though, Chris
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
moving, lol
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
and miles to go before i sleep and miles to go before i sleep
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
ikea should have little kiosks giving out plastic cups of water and energy gels, like in marathons
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
pray for us that someone takes the damn thing
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Screamer Jim @screamerjim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
it’s TOO MUCH
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
i’m going to treat this in the same way as I am the Russian plague. I can’t do anything about it so I’m ignoring it until someone else dies.
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John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I mean they weren't alone were they
Childminder who left 27 children alone in her home pleads guilty to neglect
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Dmitry Grozoubinski @explaintrade.com · 06/10/2026
Unlike these woke gay pedos I spend my time owning the libs by doing traditional, masculine family values activities: obsessively following Malfoid, a romantacy fanfiction comic starring the feminized version of a teenaged school boy.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
the four stages of tiny son won’t go to bed
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General Boles @generalboles.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
HAVE YOU BEEN MIS-SOLD THE END OF HISTORY? #CPC26
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
quite excited to be moving as do not care for estate we live in (boring - no life to it) but will miss the surrounding countryside and trees
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Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The talking heads on CNN are discussing the firing squad "making a comeback" and it's one of those things where yeah, the guy they're shooting now probably deserves it but as a general rule, "The firing squad is making a comeback," is the sort of sentence that sets off your Spidey sense, y'know?
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
people need the illusion when buying a house that no one actually lives there, according to estate agents and the internet when i looked this up. So anything extraneous is into storage.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
another day, another round of putting all our worldly possessions into cardboard boxes in prep for trying to sell our stupid house
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
oh god
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Shut up Scottish Green co-leader Ross Greer, says me.
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Ian Martin @ianmartin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
As ever, and for the last time in connection with lying shit Jeffrey Archer, we remember Monica Coghlan, whose life he destroyed.
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Marina @marstrina.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
which is quite strange as I don’t think they even have ovens - they just make a starring appearance in them in the houses of very posh people (I assume)
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Every time I see a pheasant it is quite clear that their inner monologue is ‘oh fuck, I’ve left the gas on! I’ve left it on, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I used to be in the green party - I wouldn’t go anywhere near them, now. Not in a million years.
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Mrs Quent @quarkquent.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Would legitimately love to have a centre left party who was genuinely completely committed to reversing (or at the very least halting) climate change and the degradation of our planey. Does such a party exist? No.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
please enjoy: my pets lie on things they’re not supposed to - an occasional series
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Would not making a conceptual differentiation between being ‘english’ as a civic identity and ‘english’ as an ethnic group (insofar as that is an actual thing) be useful here? I mean it’s not an ethnostate, right?
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Kate Sills @katelynsills.com · 04/10/2026
When I lived in the Bay Area, there were streets with a ton of glass on the ground. Those were the streets where you didn't want to park overnight or have anything in the car, because car thieves would break your window. I think most people can see that this is a failed state. This isn't normal.
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Jay Zedbee @jayzedbee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
me when i am bisexual
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Helen Kennedy @helenkennedy.com · 30/09/2026
I read a great short story once positing that the afterlife was like a big airport that you have to wait around in. You only get to leave when the last person on earth forgets your name. Genghis Khan and Hitler were really fucked. Also the now-forgotten people who had streets named after them.
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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The Game Detective @gamedetective.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Look man. You got to trust the process. Fucking around is the first step. Finding out comes later, but you HAVE to go in order.
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noam @noamchompers.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
philosophers should have simply *answered* the deepest and most intractable questions ever posed. instead they've chosen to fuck around. disappointing
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sianushka.bsky.social @sianushka.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Impossible to read without crying The last villager: 88-year-old’s fight for survival in Ukraine’s blasted north www.thetimes.com/article/8d12...
thetimes.com
The last villager: 88-year-old’s fight for survival in Ukraine’s blasted north
As Russia laid waste to her home, Hanna Panych refused to leave her goats and lived for months under constant bombardment in the ‘grey zone’
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
be one of the last days sitting in this garden - last rays of the year
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Paul Hünermund @p-hunermund.com · 03/10/2026
Evidence on taxing the rich from Scandinavian countries www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=...
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
‘we’re all from Manchester, now’
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I mean, I wanted to break up with whoever this is by slide 4 I’m not going to lie.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
consider the noble, elegant simplicity of ‘theyre not that into any more and they’re bored‘ first, that’s all I’m saying. Bit bruising to the old ego I admit but we’ve all been there and we’ve all had it happen to us.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
was your partner suffering from a latent dysfunctional attachment style because their mum didn’t love them, or had things run their course and they were bored? Who can say.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I mean there could well be something to it sometimes but I’d like a nuetral third party‘s account and that of the other person before I’m diagnosing someone.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
‘things were better at the start of the relationship than at the end - how to explain this?‘
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
here’s another unfalsifiable explanatory framework: the person writing this in fact was a pain in the ass and the other person got tired of them hence being pissed off in the end.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Make it really easy for people to pay a small amount and you could make a fortune. I don’t know why companies don’t do this.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It is right that things are paywalled. People should be paid. But I (and vast majority of people) are not going to take out a subscription to every damn thing. Surely there is a way for us to pay a small fee to read the article without taking a subscription?
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economymedicine.bsky.social @economymedicine.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The idea that you have to watch uncensored snuff films on repeat to understand what is happening and is virtuous is one of the most destructive things going on right now. It doesn't actually teach them anything and actively ruins their mental health.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It’s a vexed moral issue and I am not sure how it can be made to work in practice given the fallibility of human nature and the shortcomings of the state. I don’t think enough consideration has been given to second order effects. Sausages.
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Dan Thomas @itsdanthomas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The most disappointing video you’ll see today.
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Bert Dalziel @bertdalziel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
breaking news: i am very tired and have absent-mindedly made myself both coffee and tea in the same mug. It is an abomination unto the lord.
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