iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I made a special point of giving him a long fuss and then sitting back next to him. He rolled over to look at me and his eyes swelled to the circumference of an average-size kuiper belt object as though he was about to get zoomies of shift into his true form (shredding ours and every other reality)

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Incredibly complex stressful bit of work on an impossible deadline ✔ Second one of those because fuck me I guess ✔ Near-lethal levels of sleep deprivation ✔ PMS ✔ Trains home delayed by hours, packed and humid ✔ Mum's phone off since the morning for unknown reason ✔ Cardiac arrest imminent lads

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Currently trying to make a self-referential calculation not a self referential calculation even though it is a self-referential calculation, living it up on a Thursday

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 15/08/2024

Post a non religious photo you think of as holy

Nicole Kidman pictured smoking beneath what looks to be a fabric marquee. She's wearing a fabulous gold dress so presumably it's a red carpet movie thing. Tom Cruise is standing beside her in shadow, looking very short and very annoyed. He's saying something to her, something impatient I imagine. He's whining, definitely whining. Meanwhile Kidman is stood erect, a perfect porcelain statue in a shaft of light, eyes closed, head tilted upwards to the heavens, taking a one handed drag from a cigarette. She towers over him in every way possible.

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sorry i came over to your house and put my dog in your baby’s crib and your baby on the floor

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Woltergeist 2: The Other Side-Eye @wolter.bsky.social · 15/08/2024

I wish I could find the photo I took of a produce section a decade ago that was offering a sale on “Cumcumbers.”

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Sebas @ohlookbirdies.bsky.social · 15/08/2024

I have not once but twice received e-mails from shops about their "massive discocunts"

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Cursed @winskillfull.bsky.social · 15/08/2024

I've typed "Good afterboob" on multiple occasions

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Cursed @winskillfull.bsky.social · 15/08/2024

@wheatles.bsky.social wrote an email to a CEO saying "have a lonely evening"

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KAFUI 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social · 27/03/2024

Auditory Hallucination is a lovely name for a baby boy who may or may not be crying in the other room

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The true value of the post-menopausal woman lies in the construction of rural candy houses

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🍃🍂🍁 @wearywithtoil.bsky.social · 14/08/2024

What's the worst possible typo? I'm thinking 'I absolve you of your sons' is up there

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Baron often gives off a melancholy vibe when I pet him - he's purring, but there's something... off. And I've just realised - because he's at my feet where I can't reach - that I usually pet right before I get up to leave the room. So I guess he associates pets with goodbyes <\3

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Flic @flic.bsky.social · 14/08/2024

The language around violence (emotional & physical) experienced by women & girls is extremely problematic. This is a perfect explanation of this.

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Chris Limb @catmachine.com · 14/08/2024

TIL that the toilet on the bridge of the original USS Enterprise NCC-1701 was *next to the viewscreen* Access via service corridor but nevertheless … #CaptainsLog

Diagram of the bridge of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701 from Star Trek.

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James Kelleher @jameskelleher.pilcrow.ie · 14/08/2024

An erotic short story in three acts

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Me, welcoming my newest follower

A yellow balloon floating against a blue sky. The ballon takes up most of the frame. It has a simple smiley face printed on it in black. Thae angle of the shot makes it look like the balloon is looking slightly downward at you and it's a little unsettling in a way it's hard to put your finger on. In a 70s style font the words WEIRD VIBES are in the top left corner.

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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 13/08/2024

Quick, fall in love with me, THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN

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JK Rowling naming an American character brainstorm: - Rootin’ Tootin’ Jimmy Johnson - D Z Nuts - Newt Gingrich - Jessica Dress - Gun

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Accidentally got my 78 yo mum into korean melodramas and now it's all she watches, so for her birthday today I made a korean feast, with kimchi and soju of course. I even poured it for her with two hands.

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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 20/09/2023

The fact that a box of lindor chocolates is empty from 1mm above the little window is both criminal and immoral

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Exterminator: wow these squirrels filled most of your walls with acorns and nuts Me, who worked hard gathering all those nuts: wow crazy but maybe let’s leave those alone

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Eelaware @eelaware.bsky.social · 13/08/2024

Part of the confusion I created in this thread was by incorrectly using the word linear 🙃 so apologies for that. I think a lot of replies were what i needed or close to it but I couldn't understand what they were saying. But someone did a worked example and the insanity is over. Thank you ♡

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are you even not looking back in anger bro

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Ok gonna drink espresso and google "please help me math" until this problem goes away or I have a heart attack, whichever happens sooner

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Thank you for the retweets I cannot over stress how stressed I am about this. I assume the rest of you are furiously trying to work it out on your calculators, and I thank you too.

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If you happen to be an excel genius, please do consider putting me out of my misery here I stg this will be the thing that breaks me

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