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The Needling

@theneedling.com
18K followers 1.5K following 2.6K posts

Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody) Have a hot headline tip? Send it to Submit@TheNeedling.com TheNeedling.com

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Reposted by The Needling
Ryan Packer @typewriteralley.bsky.social · 1h
Sound Transit actually led with this
Pinehurst: Say hello to new connections 

Whether you're heading to a morning tee time...
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Pedagogy Prodigy @vikinggod.bsky.social · 15h
When I slice my shot off the tee and hit the train, instead of the fairway, I can turn to high five my brother as though that’s what I meant to do.
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Ray Delahanty | CityNerd @nerd4cities.bsky.social · 3h
Puget Sound transit priorities: 1. U-pick blueberry farms 2. Car dealerships 3. Suburban tech campuses 4. Golf courses … 42. Ballard
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【喪中】OhMonkey @ohmonkey.bsky.social · 14h
Rail and Golf Con 2026: Get your tickets today! They are selling fast.
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James everything is analog @analogist.net · 14h
2 stops away from Nile Shrine golf course, which also has its own Link station
Nile Shrine golf course next to I-5, which also has its own Mountlake Terrace light rail station
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Three Flats Bettcher @bettchergonnabike.bsky.social · 14h
Its *second* new light rail station
Screen capture of Jackson Park Golf Course in Google Maps with the Shoreline South and Pinehurst stations at either corner of the golf course circled in red
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Share the Cities Collective @sharethecities.bsky.social · 16h
Some people won’t understand this is joke and be excited they can take light rail to go golfing.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Ivar's summer special was better.
theneedling.com
Ivar’s Begins Serving Iced Clam Chowder Just in Time for Summer
Local iced lavender lattes became suddenly irrelevant overnight as local seafood chain, Ivar’s, announced their seasonal iced clam chowder drinks are now available just in time for the first day of…
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 16h
Ballard Congratulates Golf Course on Its New Light Rail Station: tinyurl.com/yncw9jep
Map of new Pinehurst light rail station opening Sept. 30 next to I-5 and 160-acre Jackson Park Golf Course.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Ivar's summer special was better.
theneedling.com
Ivar’s Begins Serving Iced Clam Chowder Just in Time for Summer
Local iced lavender lattes became suddenly irrelevant overnight as local seafood chain, Ivar’s, announced their seasonal iced clam chowder drinks are now available just in time for the first day of…
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xNiiRUx @xniirux.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Mochacloaca is my new favorite word.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
“If she wants to continue being the Starbucks mascot in the Volunteer State, she’s gonna have to volunteer showing her seajunk to someone who can confirm if and where she has a mochacloaca.”
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid: tinyurl.com/4v28assy
Starbucks mermaid scowling while closing and holding both her fins off to the side
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Developer Soup @developersoup.net · 29/09/2026
Inspectors leaving the scene:
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence: tinyurl.com/yc72zmmh
White man relaxing with his eyes peacefully closed and head resting back on clasped hands
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
“If she wants to continue being the Starbucks mascot in the Volunteer State, she’s gonna have to volunteer showing her seajunk to someone who can confirm if and where she has a mochacloaca.”
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence: tinyurl.com/yc72zmmh
White man relaxing with his eyes peacefully closed and head resting back on clasped hands
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026
Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid: tinyurl.com/4v28assy
Starbucks mermaid scowling while closing and holding both her fins off to the side
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Mark 🇱🇸 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇮🇷 @ssfcfoty13.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Tom wrote this
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Nicholas [redacted] @borninawar.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
IYKYK
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Courtney Shannon @cshannonpdx.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Yep. Mine has been locked in a shed since I got the mini-spit system.
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Lex Vaughn @lex.vaughn.theneedling.com · 27/09/2026
Whenever Mayor Katie Wilson gets bullied by centristst/right-wing media for not being nice enough to some of the most powerful/evil companies in the world, we have to remind her that sassiness is power -- of course they don't want you to have that.
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Kenneth Trease @kptrease.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Too beautiful to live.
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Brian Schefke @brianschefke.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I use mine all year. I just turn off the A/C setting and run the fan before I go to bed. It's like white noise to fall asleep to.
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Tina @ombresque.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Hahahahaha
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Everly Delanoy Cooper @everlydcooper.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Turned the furnace on for the first time since the end of May. Hello, Long Dark.
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Gail Jaitin @gailnyc.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Insane
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AI狗头 @goutou.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“我滴任务,完成啦!” 除了有除湿功能的型号
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 10/03/2026
Environmental Hero Makes Fossil Fuels Too Expensive for Anyone to Keep Using: tinyurl.com/yc6m5fzk
President Donald Trump waving outside while wearing a red MAGA hat
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🏳️‍🌈Toofthey 🔜 WPAFW 🏳️‍⚧️ @toofthey.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
smh of course the Bezos Washington Post won't acknowledge that @theneedling.com already outscooped them on this story theneedling.com/2026/02/08/e...
theneedling.com
Environmental Hero Makes Fossil Fuels Too Expensive for Anyone to Keep Using
Accomplishing what no other green energy advocate has before, this month environmental hero President Donald Trump successfully created so much indefinite economic turmoil in the global oil market …
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Mike Shaw @zax2000.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Wait. Someone in Seattle needed an air conditioner this summer?
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Tony Santos @tony.webeasties.com · 25/09/2026
It's good to see The Needling get into serious journalism, we need more outlets to explain these baffling decisions the We Can't Have Nice Things aligned decision makers in Seattle keep making
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Portable Air Conditioner Thanklessly Shoved into Dark Closet: tinyurl.com/4d4acbht
Someone's hand closing door to dark closet with portable air conditioner inside.
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Buxom Crime Brûlée @honnipot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Been gone fa a month. I wish summer was still here 😭
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Emmanuel Lopez @hundreddollarman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Wait, you guys have portable ACs?
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Car-Free Pike Place Market Pilot Deemed Too Successful to Continue: tinyurl.com/uund6kej
People and flowers take up space on street of Pike Place in front of the Public Market Center sign
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“ZESTY” Taylor 🎶🧑🏻‍🦲✨ @orso-xl.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The Needling posting this article literally the day before I’m about to do this exact thing…
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Push The Needle @pushtheneedle.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
We joke, but Breckenridge council said their outdoor dining was so successful that when they fully reopen their restaurants they’ll be at 150% capacity instead of 100% and it creates too many jobs they wouldn’t be able to fill so they opened Main Street to cars killing the program
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Portable Air Conditioner Thanklessly Shoved into Dark Closet: tinyurl.com/4d4acbht
Someone's hand closing door to dark closet with portable air conditioner inside.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Citing positive feedback and increased foot traffic that grew day after day for a year and a half, next week the car-free Pike Place Market pilot program will come to an end on Oct. 1 after it was deemed too successful to continue.
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Irving Avila @irvingavila.com · 25/09/2026
Only a good guy with a car can stop a bad guy with a car. Everyone should be driving cars at the market and it should just be a big drive thru.
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Elf M. Sternberg @elfsternberg.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Sigh. This is very much how the Seattle City council thinks.
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Black Cheesebürder #MDANT Band Naming Expert @blackcheeseburger.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
If I can't drive my Subaru Forester through it then the terrorists have won. Coexist, motherfuckers.
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rm [-r] lininger @0xdaeda1a.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“Without the threat of giant SUVs and pickups running over their children, people were beginning to feel too safe and started taking their families to hang out here more often—it was getting out of hand, especially with the lovely Waterfront nearby.”
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Citing positive feedback and increased foot traffic that grew day after day for a year and a half, next week the car-free Pike Place Market pilot program will come to an end on Oct. 1 after it was deemed too successful to continue.
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Nick @seanickhart.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
And for the love of god, please do NOT bring back the “sip and stroll” open container program! We can’t have any more bacchanalian orgies of commerce!
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Olraca @olraca.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Financial stability for every vendor here just isn’t in keeping with the character of the market." This cut is so close to the truth it hurts.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026
Car-Free Pike Place Market Pilot Deemed Too Successful to Continue: tinyurl.com/uund6kej
People and flowers take up space on street of Pike Place in front of the Public Market Center sign
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Michael Havard @michaelhavard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Sad but true.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 23/09/2026
Local Transphobe Not Sure How Much Longer He Can Pretend to Care About Women’s Sports: tinyurl.com/mry79s75
Man looking panicked, stressed, and burned out with a hand on his forehead at a girls high school basketball game
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