iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The Needling @theneedling.com · 22h

Ballard Congratulates Golf Course on Its New Light Rail Station: tinyurl.com/yncw9jep

Map of new Pinehurst light rail station opening Sept. 30 next to I-5 and 160-acre Jackson Park Golf Course.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026

Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence: tinyurl.com/yc72zmmh

White man relaxing with his eyes peacefully closed and head resting back on clasped hands

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/09/2026

Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid: tinyurl.com/4v28assy

Starbucks mermaid scowling while closing and holding both her fins off to the side

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026

Portable Air Conditioner Thanklessly Shoved into Dark Closet: tinyurl.com/4d4acbht

Someone's hand closing door to dark closet with portable air conditioner inside.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/09/2026

Car-Free Pike Place Market Pilot Deemed Too Successful to Continue: tinyurl.com/uund6kej

People and flowers take up space on street of Pike Place in front of the Public Market Center sign

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 23/09/2026

Local Transphobe Not Sure How Much Longer He Can Pretend to Care About Women’s Sports: tinyurl.com/mry79s75

Man looking panicked, stressed, and burned out with a hand on his forehead at a girls high school basketball game

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 22/09/2026

Local Millionaire Investing in AI Can’t Wait to Blame Future Bankruptcy on Millionaires Tax: tinyurl.com/4kps6veu

Middle-aged man wearing short-sleeve polo and puffer vest while standing in Seattle South Lake Union.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 19/09/2026

Bezos Balls Return to Natural Color After Busting a Union: tinyurl.com/vmf7nnb5

The usually blue Bezos Balls in Downtown Seattle turned tan.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 18/09/2026

New AI Literacy Program Awards Students Free Pizza If They Don’t Know How to Read Books Anymore: tinyurl.com/sdxp58dm

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 17/09/2026

Shocking Report Finds Cle Elum Actually Nowhere Near Enumclaw: tinyurl.com/ymk2z86z

Three people in white lab coats gathered around a table looking at and discussing a Google Map on a TV screen that shows the long distance between Cle Elum and Enumclaw.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 16/09/2026

‘That Actually Happened in Unincorporated King County,’ Reports Guy from Enumclaw: tinyurl.com/38sr95j2

Man in a cornfield intently explaining something to another man.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 15/09/2026

Ed Sheeran Opener Replacing Macklemore Already Dropped for Saying ‘Free America’: tinyurl.com/4xur762z

Side by side photos of Macklemore talking into a mic with a Palestinian flag behind him on the left and a photo of a woman holding up an American flag on the right.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 12/09/2026

Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side Salad: tinyurl.com/4uxmdjtz

Man fondly gazing upon a small garden salad bowl with a giant backyard garden behind him.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 11/09/2026

Mayor Wilson Accused of Being Witch After Making Both Route 8 Bus and Denny Car Traffic Faster: tinyurl.com/36wtxy7u

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson dressed in a black witch hat and dress looking down at a spell book with her hand over a chalice holding red liquid as green smoke arises around it. Behind her is the Route 8 bus and its bus-only lane as well as urbanist supporters of the project.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 10/09/2026

Report: Canada Geese Tourism to United States Down 85%: tinyurl.com/499977t3

Canada geese flying south with a backdrop of trees with golden-yellow fall leaves

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 09/09/2026

Google Maps Shrugs, Renames Lake Union to Lake Confederacy: tinyurl.com/54sx3nm

Google Map of Seattle showing Lake Union renamed to Lake Confederacy

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 06/09/2026

Seattle Crowd Walks Out of Bumbershoot After Investigation Finds Festival Named After Umbrella: tinyurl.com/ev6v6huk

Crowd walking out of Bumbershoot's Seattle Center venue with stage and International Fountain in background.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 05/09/2026

Bumbershoot Threatened By Smaller, Upstart Festival ‘Rain Jacket’: tinyurl.com/5n6p7dnd

"Rain Jacket" written in colorful blocky letters for festival lineup poster over a background of a blue jacket with water beading. Musical acts read: Wet Shoe, Goretexico, Squeak Squeak, Niklwax, Umbrella Kill, Gearhead, My Hiking Jacket, Bright Colors, Hard Shell for Hoodie, Zipper, S.W.I.S.H.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 02/09/2026

Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise: tinyurl.com/5dkuhezf

Woman in thick gray sweater holding a gray mug smiling contentedly as she looks out a window at rainy, overcast weather outside

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 01/09/2026

Critics Slam Mayor Wilson for Causing Another 9/11: tinyurl.com/mv46d466

Man looking up screaming at giant Boeing 747 airplane above him in between twin towers in development on Seattle's Denny Way.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/08/2026

New PNW Edition Prius Includes Extra Mirrors to Watch Drivers Behind Them Go Nuts: tinyurl.com/3bm893z6

Back of a Prius in the left lane of a freeway with four extra giant side view mirrors and old bumper stickers reading "Obama 08" and "Please be patient, student driver"

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 27/08/2026

Shit: Time Warp Back to When Dolly, Tim Curry and U.S. Constitution Were Alive Not Working: tinyurl.com/4nsnvpx5

Woman with hands on hips frustratingly looking at directions for Time Warp dance in the Rocky Horror Picture Show movie that directs viewers to take just a jump to the left.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 26/08/2026

Nation Almost Kills All Sexist 9-to-5 Bosses in Loving Tribute to Dolly Parton: tinyurl.com/2r3xeu84

Dolly Parton mischievously looking up in the movie 9 to 5

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/08/2026

Traffic Cops Now Issuing Mariners Tickets to Improperly Parked Cars: tinyurl.com/y2vnyh9x

Cop sliding parking violation envelope reading "Parking Mariner Ticket" with a visible Mariner ticket peeking out under a windshield wiper as a man in the background brings a palm to his forehead.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 20/08/2026

Netflix Releases New Documentary About Whistleblowers Who Worked at Boeafsjkfdsjjajkffdsjfdhfhjjklklllllllllllll: tinyurl.com/2uuusee7

Blood spatter dripping down on white wall

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 19/08/2026

Mariners Kick Off Football Season with 0-22 Shutout Loss Against the Brewers: tinyurl.com/29ets9j5

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 18/08/2026

WSDOT Opens Single Occupancy Lanes for Dangerously Lonely Cybertruck Drivers: tinyurl.com/w5vk36s8

Cybertruck speeding east across a Lake Washington bridge on a black, single-occupancy "X-lane" with a white "X" painted on it while traffic backs up in other lanes

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 15/08/2026

Zuckerberg Superyacht Ignores Distress Call from Boat That Saw Naked, Sunblock-Slathered Zuckerberg: tinyurl.com/bxzas7un

Upset man sitting on boat deck while bringing fist to his mouth like he's going to throw up.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 13/08/2026

Lime Abandons Disastrous E-Unicycle Sharing Program: tinyurl.com/35w3zymc

Two people riding Lime-branded unicycles down Downtown Seattle street

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 11/08/2026

Sound Transit Threatens to Unleash Dark Rail If Riders Keep Ignoring Posted Warnings: tinyurl.com/2dmtw3zp

Sound Transit light rail train transformed into dark rail with blue and purple bolts around it with red lasers coming out of its headlights and a destination on the front labeled "HELL"

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 08/08/2026

Nation Reminded This Is Last Day You Can Talk About Jimothy: tinyurl.com/2ym7b22y

Recent paparazzi photo of Seattle's famous short-spined raccoon Jimothy washing his paws in someone's backyard

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 07/08/2026

Some Asshole Still Setting Off Blue Angels: tinyurl.com/mr4ce5k9

Woman in bed at night covering her ears with a pillow as the Blue Angels roar in the night sky near the moon

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 06/08/2026

Want to be a real fake news reporter too? Learn how to find real fake news scoops and write them up in a fun and collaborative way with real fake newsroom colleagues (And then maybe get some drinks/best fries in the city). Join us! tinyurl.com/y6wb6kmb

The Needling Real Fake Newsroom Workshop: Join us for 3 weeks of unparalleled real fake journalism training mentorship and collaboration. Begins Aug.11. Image of typewriter over backdrop of evergreens.

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 06/08/2026

Local Woman Just Thinks Flaming Forest Could Find More Peaceful Way to Protest Climate Change: tinyurl.com/k8dmr9d7

Older white blonde woman looking judgmentally out of living room window at flaming forest

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 06/08/2026

Experts Find Smoking Filtered Cigarettes Reduces Risk of Breathing Seattle’s Air: tinyurl.com/pj5ke84z

Older couple happily smoking cigarettes on a park bench

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 04/08/2026

Inexperienced Seattle Mayor Apologizes for Naively Assuming Police Knew How to Do Their Job: tinyurl.com/3dv6uy9m

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson intently explaining something at a City Hall press conference lectern

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 31/07/2026

Next Seattle Police Chief Already Fired: tinyurl.com/xhtsyt36

Side-by-side photos of Interim Seattle Police Chief Andre Sayles on the left and Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson speaking at a City Hall press conference

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 30/07/2026

Seattle Police Chief Assures City He Commutes Back to Chicago to See Wife, Kids as Little as Possible: tinyurl.com/5cz4hx3z

Seattle Police Chief Shon Barnes speaking at City Hall press conference

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 29/07/2026

SPD Wondering What’s Taking Mayor Katie Wilson So Long to Find Second Shooting Suspect: tinyurl.com/3jkm7ff2

Seattle Police Chief Shon Barnes speaking at press conference with downcast Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson standing behind him

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 25/07/2026

WSU Paleontologists Believe Early Ford Raptor Had Feathers: tinyurl.com/c8wecv2w

Stone fossil of early Ford Raptor surrounded by fossilized feathers, mostly on front grille

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 23/07/2026

Study Finds Siren-Related Deaths Among Sailors Way Down: tinyurl.com/y79jd8s6

Painting of beautiful sirens luring more sailors to an island with skeletons of past sailors they have killed

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 22/07/2026

New Seahawks Owner Assured He Still Gets to Own 49ers on Game Days: tinyurl.com/mw5bjver

New Seahawks owner Vinod Khosla smiling in front of a Seahawks presser background with Seahawks logos on it

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 21/07/2026

Report: Wild Raccoon Would Love to Be Adopted By You, If You Just Had the Courage To Make the First Move: tinyurl.com/4644prks

Raccoon by tree adorably looking up at camera

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 20/07/2026

Adorable New Video Shows Moment Jimothy Escaped Henry Mural as a Baby: tinyurl.com/3cypjstc

Baby Jimothy leaping out of Henry mural on a fence with the back half of body still in painted form as a weird looking unicorn playing a guitar on green grass in the background looks at him

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 19/07/2026

Family That Left Food Out on Porch for St. Jimothy Wakes Up to Yard Full of Presents: tinyurl.com/3sttt5nz

Family leaping for joy in front of home as they spot Jimothy's "presents" in the grass (pewp)

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 19/07/2026

Bumble Bees at Sequim Lavender Festival Baked AF: tinyurl.com/4ku9dudb

Bumble bees on lavender flowers at lavender farm surrounded in purple haze

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 17/07/2026

Whole Nation Misses President’s Speech Because Jimothy: tinyurl.com/2tp3na55

Local viral social media sensation, Jimothy--a raccoon in Ballard with short spine syndrome--loping across the grass

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The Needling @theneedling.com · 15/07/2026

Seattle Mourns Starbucks as Old Locations Fill with Infinitely Better Coffee and Pastries: tinyurl.com/bp797hn2

Petit Pierre Bakery's croissant supreme, a circular pastry standing on its side with chocolate creatively adorning top

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