iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I had the best time at a party last night until a local told me that bar burned down thirty years ago.

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I found a voodoo doll covered in pins on my doorstep. Lucky me, they used an acupuncture technique and I’m feeling better than ever.

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I hate when I walk to the kitchen for a snack without my Oura ring on.

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mike☺︎ (scary joe armstrong) @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

What if we kissed under the soft white light of the cum lamp

A black lamp with seven separate bulbs against a dark bluish gray background. The bulbs are covered by what designed to appear to be a dripping, oozy substance, more than vaguely resembling globs of cum

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Much love to @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social and @m1keonl1ne.bsky.social! Thank you, ya absolute diamonds 😉🙏🙌🥰

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Well holy fuck balls! Thanks so Much Mike fam! I'm not here much these days, so that was a nice surprise buddy! 👊😉🙏🙌🦔

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Have you tried throwing a stress ball at someone’s face

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I always figured there would be an epidemic in my lifetime, I just didn’t know it would be stupidity

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

To the people spreading batshit crazy conspiracy theories: Are actual current events not batshit crazy enough to please you?

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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

God: *trying to open one door and close another but He’s got the whole world in His hands*

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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

We’re no longer the #3 most cited reason for divorce in the Midwest!

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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I don’t lie to my children like when my dogs look cute 4 treats like ya yous are cute but not cuter than when your beardie brother begs mommy 4 his blueberries & arugula he enjoys it more unlike you gluttons

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Your honour i object to the term petty crimes, it may be petty to you [tearing up] but they mean the world to me

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Sorry i said one hump or two? when you tried to buy that camel hair coat

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

A vacuum seal is just a seal trained to do housework.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I hope this email finds you welding

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Who called it oral sex with a redhead instead of going down in flames?

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 is my favorite song about accidentally causing an avalanche.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Her: The market is within walking distance. Me: So…it’s in my front yard?

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

The power of nostalgia is directly proportional to the degree in which everything is completely ruined now.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

*meditates to clear mind* *mind immediately fills with generalized dread, skeet ideas, shopping list, embarrassing memories*

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I threw* a banquet** in your*** honor. * 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘯 ** 𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘻𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 *** 𝘪’𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Masterclass is short for masturbation classiness.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Me: *licks fingers, turns page* Stranger reading a book next to me on the bus: “Will you please stop licking my fingers and turning my pages?”

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I did an “Ask me anything” and got 124 messages asking “What is wrong with you?”

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I didn’t drink myself into a stupor. I was already stupored beforehand.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Halloween costume idea: slutty pile of cat hair

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Murder board, except I'm trying to organize my life and I've run out of red yarn.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

What do you call it when Michael Cera is complaining? A Cera-moany.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Me: Meditation is like a laxative for the brain. Meditation group leader: *pinches bridge of nose* Just be quiet and breathe. Me: You seem stressed.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Marvin stared at the painting of his great grandfather, who had survived two wars, worked three jobs to support his fourteen children, and eventually died saving a box full of kittens from a fire, and thought to himself, "You know, if I knocked that over, I could sleep on it."

A cat stares at a large framed oval painting of a similar-looking cat in military dress.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

This day in history. 2013. London won the title of number 1 Crap Town in the UK after a 10 year reign by Hull. 2 months later Hull was named the UK's next City of Culture for 2017. 2020 me would investigate how a city could receive an award for 2017 in 2013 but nothing matters now, which saves time.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

This day in history. 1936. Dutch poet and novelist J. Slauerhoff died. Here's this thing to the tune of Santa Lucia: Jan Jacob Slauerhoff Wandered the southern sea Worked as a doctor Wrote like a prodigy ... One day his luck ran out The diagnosis Tuberculosis! Tuberculosis! ...

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

This day in history. 2019. Comedian Rip Taylor threw one last handful of confetti into the air, uttered a final "I don't need you people I've got two chinchillas in heat!", and died.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

This day in history. 700. Feast day of saint Osgyth who surprised her husband King Sighere of Essex by becoming a nun while he was off hunting and surprised the Viking pirates who beheaded her by picking up her head and carrying it away.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

This day in history. 1916. Canadian Pte. James Richardson earned a Victoria Cross for parading in front of the enemy playing the bagpipes inspiring his comrades to capture a German entrenchment. He was shot dead of course, you can't expect men raised on Brahms to tolerate the old dudelsack for long.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

This day in history. 2000. On the 60th anniversary of his birth the John Lennon Museum opened in Japan. It closed 10 years later because Yoko Ono felt that Lennon's spirit should stay in motion. "Look there it is now she said," pointing at a Mister Softee ice cream truck.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

This day in history. 1492. The Spanish crew of the Santa Maria mutinied and told Christopher Columbus to turn the ship around and return to Spain. He was Italian and didn't know what they were talking about and just kept repeating "Non parlo spagnolo" until two days later they spotted the Bahamas.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

This day in history. 1216. King John lost the crown jewels when his baggage train was swamped by a rising tide in The Wash. "We wants them, we needs them. Must have the preciouses," he was heard moaning afterwords. He developed a fever and died a few days later but some say he jumped into a volcano.

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

vote red no matter dead I totally made this up no way anyone else was dumb enough to bother saying it

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 16/12/2024

[bar] me: can I buy you a drink? her: I have a boyfriend me: bartender, two more boyfriends

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 06/03/2025

me: don’t talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of coffee coworker: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon me: coworker: you don’t drink coffee do you me: you’re still talking

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