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MouseSmurf

@mousesmurf.bsky.social
50 followers 238 following 1 posts
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Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 10/09/2026
Some of those that work forces Are the same that fuck horses
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
ancient greek bard: in my story i invented the labyrinth as a cautionary tale ancient greek bard (after i explain sam altman’s whole deal to him): ok you can put that guy in there
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Bethany Brookshire @beebrookshire.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Lobbyist: "We need to make a choice! Climate or AI! We might lose to..." Me: *smacks climate button Lobbyist: "But we have to open the conversa..." Me: *punches climate button Lobbyist: "But our competitive..." Me: *JUMPS UP AND DOWN ON CLIMATE BUTTON www.politico.eu/article/euro...
politico.eu
Europe must choose between AI and climate goals, data center lobby says
Tech sector says only carbon-emitting gas plants are reliable enough today to power the EU’s AI goals.
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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
happy 9th anniversary to the day we watched Zendaya fall madly in love with Tom Holland in real-time
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Brexit has failed due to the Brits who sold it as an idea, the Brits who voted for it, the Brits who negotiated it, the Brits who implemented it and because it was a really shit idea brought about by hatred. It’s not due to remainers, the EU, COVID or Ukraine. Own it.
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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Today’s poem is called ‘Index of Poems I Shall Never Write’.
Index of Poems I Shall Never Write

(Don’t Tell Me About) Your Brand New Podcast p. 42
At the Alphabetti Spaghetti World Championship Final p. 32
Bad Hare Day p. 40
Easy Peelers are Not the Only Fruit p. 52
I’m in Love with the Woman in the Green Cardigan 
in the BBC Question Time Audience p. 58
Kim Kardiganashian p. 45
Life Hacked p. 60
Linked In, Dropped Out p. 27
Mister Krankie Meets the Clambake King p. 14
Nocturnal Blossoms: Petals of the Moon p. 18
On Sleeping in a Dudley Travelodge p. 68
On Waking in a Dudley Travelodge p.  3
Poem for Silt Awareness Day  p.  6
She Never Did Care for Hollyhocks p. 23
Shit! It’s Jeremy Clarkson!     p. 1
Sixty-Four Failed Attempts to Guess a Wi-Fi Password p. 64
Taking Cocaine with Wendy Cope p. 9
Ten Unexpected Items to Find in a Bagging Area p. 50
The Last But One Will and Testament of Brian Horatio Bilston  p. 55
Third Wordle War p. 47
Untitled p. 21
What We Currently Know and Don’t Know about Gnomes p. 31
Whither the linnet?  p. 10
Yes, I Know It’s Called ‘Petrichor’ p. 34
Your Spatula p. 37
 
 
Brian Bilston
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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 12/01/2026
Good luck to anyone starting the year with a new health regime. Here’s how mine always goes.
My Year in Diets 
 
Veganuary 
Fibreuary  
Starch 
Cakepril 
MaycaroniCheese 
June&tonic 
Julicecream 
Augustickytoffeepudding 
Septembeer 
Octoblerone 
Doughvember 
Decemburger 


Brian Bilston
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
RT if you think giving people knighthoods is all a bit silly but still think it's hilarious that Farage still hasn't got one.
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Biggest commitment to a 3 second joke I've ever seen
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Ayo @darrylayo.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
people older than me and people younger than me are equally ignorant of climate change as a global crisis Captain Planet target audience stands firm
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Robert Hutton @roberthutton.co.uk · 24/11/2025
This s the one thing we didn't want to happen. thecritic.co.uk/aunt...
Since then, Prescott has worked in public relations. He had the sleek looks and the gold-rimmed glasses and heavy watch that go with a quarter of a century in that line. Although for someone who has made his living advising on PR, he turns out to have been surprisingly naïve about what might happen to a long memo detailing the BBC’s failings on a series of hot news topics. “I never envisaged events playing out the way they did,” he confessed, a line that probably won’t be used in his company’s next promotional video.

“This was conceived as a private memo to 14 people,” Prescott explained, an astonishing utterance from someone who worked even for four years as the political editor of a Sunday newspaper. When those people hadn’t responded, he sent it to people at Ofcom and the Department of Culture. What happened next will astonish you. “Six days after I sent the memo,” he said in a tone of shock, “there it was in the Telegraph!”
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
I know it’s been said but WOW nothing makes me think someone is more pathetic than obsessing over the flag assigned to the manmade borders you’re born in to. Frightened little rabbit boys, they’re so pathetic x
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
me: duck: woof me: duck: woof me: duck: woof woof vet: yeah I see your problem. It's actually a dog me: so I should stop eating the eggs?
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Alan Rusbridger @arusbridger.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
From guardian obituary of David Lipsey
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Hell-a Bambust 🏳️‍⚧️ (alleged transsexual)(spooky) @ela-bambust.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
"why does restaurant food taste better than food cooked at home" The cook does not care if you live or die and uses salt and butter accordingly
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Mike Sowden @mikeachim.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
OK, this is wild. In September 2023, geophysicists across the world started monitoring a very odd signal coming from the ground under them. It was picked up in the Arctic. And Antarctica. It was detected everywhere, every 90 seconds, as regular as a metronome, for *nine days*. What the HELL? 1/
Unsplash image of the Earth, mostly the nightside with a tracery of city lights on every continent.
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Best for Britain @bestforbritain.org · 13/05/2025
Spot on. From @mortenmorland.bsky.social in today's @thetimes.com
Cartoon of Keir Starmer dressed as Farage. Captions: "We risk becoming an island of Strangers!" / "I don't know who you are any more..."
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Sean D. Sollé @sd.solle.uk · 23/04/2025
This makes absolutely no sense at all until you read the alt text, which makes it VERY funny:
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
The British automotive industry contributes £22bn to the UK economy. The creative industries contribute £124bn. Fucksake. Stop AI copyright theft.
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Alex Keyes, PhD @neuropharmnerd.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
relatedly:
tumblr post from user tsarina-anadyomene: Cocaine was a stimulant used by a priestly caste of the middle period United States called businessmen in order to commune with The Market. [1]
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
calling trump “orange”? kinda cringe but whatever calling it “orange monday” thereby forcing future generations of economists to explain why its called that? absolutely hilarious
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Small Robots @smolrobots.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
The argument that actually punishing Le Pen and her cronies for their crimes will only make them stronger in the long run is a little hard to swallow when we have a prominent example of a right-wing authoritarian who was very much not punished for his crimes and is now wrecking everything in sight.
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Adam Sharp @adamcsharp.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
In Odia, the word for an ostrich, ଗୁଲିବଲ୍, translates literally to “war chicken”
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
going to start calling myself a centrist and then listing all my leftist views as proof, just going to start moving the overton window by force
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thepokeuk.bsky.social @thepokeuk.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
‘What ridiculous things have you come to care about as you’ve got older?’ – 23 terrifyingly middle-aged opinions. www.thepoke.com/2025/04/01/r...
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
April Fools Day to be stood down because nothing could be more ridiculous than the real world.
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Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
I was such an overachiever in school that even when I was angry at something I got an A in my bonnet
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The Empty City @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Perhaps the top person at The Atlantic was added to the Signal chat because those on the chat believed there was a person in charge of the Atlantic.
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Of course we’re all diagnosing one another with ADHD. But if you tell us not to do that, we’ll just do it more. You know, instead of whatever it is we’re all meant to be doing.
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Havong my own personal version of the Signal hearings rn. The young finance dudebro nepo baby in front of me on the DLR right is on his phone loudly admitting to crimes. Sounds like it's coming crashing down on him. Which is fun.
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John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
Things I expected to see more in life based on my childhood comics: - magicians wearing tuxedos - ‘Keep off the grass’ signs - pies cooling on windowsills - people shaking their fists - anvils
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Is Climate Change Denial / Free Speech Bullshit just a big extension of Consequences Denial? Are those the two political viewpoints now? The Consequences Group and the Fuck It You Can’t Stop Me Don’t Tell Me What To Do Group? So we’ve got er… grown ups… and babies, rather than left and right now?
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CarolineJMolloy @carolinejmolloy.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
Meanwhile Spain carries on with socialist policies & looking after people & redistributing, and whaddya know, it’s economy soars and no-one in the Brit political class talks about it because omg maybe some second homes & wealth would get taxed, no, it’s very sad but we must make difficult choices…🤮
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The Author, Séamas O'Reilly @seamas.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
one great mystery of our age is how the only way to motivate rich people to work is to give them loads of money for no reason but the only way to motivate poor people to work is to take away loads of their money for no reason
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Doctors TARDIS @doctorstardis.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
We can upload 3 minute videos now. YOU KNOW THE RULE
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Jonn Elledge @jonnelledge.bsky.social · 05/02/2025
jonn.substack.com/p/but-whats-...
.There have been good things: the biggest is planning reform, a willingness to stress that this country needs infrastructure and housing and windfarms, and the blockers who object will just have to lump it. Elsewhere, though, there’s been a lot more muttering about the need for sound public finances than the need to stop the state falling over. Rachel Reeves has declined to make the uncomfortable but accurate argument that her predecessor’s tax cuts were unaffordable, and that it is better to take one, big political hit now than to slowly bleed out through a thousand public service crises.

Ministers keep talking about the need for a reset in relations with Europe – but over the weekend, home secretary Yvette Cooper dismissed the idea of youth mobility scheme as “not the right starting point”, even though it’s hard to imagine a smaller or less justifiable concession, and that without such concessions there is no reason for Brussels to give us anything. Someone in government, meanwhile, is briefing how annoyed they are that Liz Kendall is taking her sweet time finding ways to cut benefits yet further in a cost of living crisis, and a bunch of MPs whose seats are threatened by Reform are calling on the government to be noisier about how mean it’s being to immigrants. None of it is particularly edifying.

No one of any seniority seems willing to say anything in defence of the welfare state, that immigrants are people, or to express the minute possibility that Britain will be better off working with Europe than getting pushed around by Trump. They’re not making arguments in favour of duty or solidarity, or a national mission to rebuild what the Tories destroyed. All too often the pitch seems to be slightly more competent management of the rubble.
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Alisha Grauso (She/Her) @alishagrauso.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
A question more people need to hear: Why do you blindly hate trans people despite them never having done anything to personally hurt you, but you blindly love billionaires despite them never having done anything to personally help you?
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Slimer S. Pumpkins! @gakoid.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Here’s my favourite Google AI result so far. 😂
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Delbert Grady Seasons @delbertgseasons.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
I don’t know if Google can top this, their finest work to date
Google
is tripe kosher
All
Images
Videos
Shopping
Forums
News
Al Overview
Learn more :
Whether tripe is kosher depends on the religion of the cow. Kosher meat can be ordered online, including kosher beef tripe. ~
Generative Al is experimental.
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
Tiny particles of rum, pineapple and coconut are soon to be beamed around the new 27km tunnel of the Large Piña Collider. Yep. Ok that'll do, please continue to enjoy your weekend.
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Kevin Hague @kevverage.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
🎶 when you go, will you send back a lettuce from America? 🎶
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Disciple of Telesto @zaliachimera.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
God, remember how much everyone fucking hated Clippy popping up and its annoying as fuck comments? And now they bundle Clippy but built on theft and burning down a forest every time it's used into every fucking computer but instead of annoying comments it tells you to eat deadly mushrooms
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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
I love how people think those little cheese knives are for serving cheese, like awwww that's cute no those are for *defending* your cheese, trust no one
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WholesomeMemes @wholesomememe.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Porktrait and lambscape www.worldofmoose.com/products/por...
Cartoon drawing of a vertical rectangle containing a pig and a horizontal rectangle containing a lamb - the captions read Porktrait and Lambscape
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Chaz Hutton @chazhutton.com · 11/12/2024
Googling Stuff: Then v Now.
This title if the comic is ‘Googling Stuff…’
The comic shows two columns: on the left is “Then” showing search results with one thing listed as “the thing you want”

On the right column is ‘Now’ - also showing search results but in this case it’s a whole bunch of stuff you don’t need:

AI TAKING A WILD STAB AT IT WITH SOME
BLATANT MISINFORMATION

SPONSORED RESULT

SPONSORED RESULT

SPONSORED RESULT

SPONSORED RESULT

PEOPLE ALSO ASK

VIEW PRODUCTS

And then right at the bottom just off screen is ‘the thing you want’
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
Book idea for people of my age: Where’s Wallet?
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MouseSmurf @mousesmurf.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Freya, Queen of Ennui
A black cat lies on a bed, with one paw draped over the side. A red towel hangs in the background. She stares through the metal bed frame into the middle distance with bright yellow-green eyes.
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