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Chris Larkin

@mostimpressive.bsky.social
206 followers 254 following 1.3K posts

Fae king consort, aka Mr. Pie Fairy at @thepiefairy.bsky.social in Omaha. Latchkey adult. Aspiring fake sports journalist. I am my own imaginary friend.

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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Guess which one I did!
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
We are surrounded by Charlie Browns, desperately waiting to kick a football once again.
Summary of 18 U.S.C. § 597
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yes every woman has been harassed, many assaulted. But every woman has also experienced invisible loss from moments she avoided harassment. She felt a space becoming unsafe, so she left, while men stayed on. And in leaving, she lost: opportunities, experiences, learning, promotions, even simply fun.
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Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
no Halloween anymore just hell sorry. if u have any complaints, an ai assistant will be with you shortly to do nothing but piss you off more
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The Pie Fairy 🥧 @thepiefairy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Happy Oct-Tim-Ber, everyone! Four new pies this month!
You'll Float Too, Absolute Pleasure, Whodunnit?, and Professional Pirate!
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
It's a *stare into the abyss* kind of week.
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James Hell Brooks @kleinman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Why do so many Trump flunkies look like The Uncle Who Wears A Kimono
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Wild to see so, so many negative comments about using AI to promote your event or establishment, only to see owners in your town go:
Tobias: "...but it might work for us."
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Jim Pickard @pickardje.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
as a satire on so-called late stage capitalism how could one beat investors pouring a trillion into a company offering to wipe out humankind
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hard to imagine what that would be like
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Reverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“Why do you know that?” I don’t know why I know anything, Sharon
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
bad news babe a rogue openai agent must have hacked our refrigerator last night and drank 15 beers
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If there's one thing that's defined the stupidest era in modern political theory, it's alliterative nicknames. Take it from me, Condescending Chris.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
this is who you had to buy weed from before legalization
Francis Bourgeois
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Might fuck around and do unto others as I would have them do unto me
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The Pie Fairy 🥧 @thepiefairy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
And now, a note from Mr. Pie Fairy: Omaha, please join me in celebrating the Mother of Cats, the Tender of Bars, the Laminator of Doughs, and the greatest Pastry Superhero in this universe or any other: your very own Pie Fairy. Happy Birthday, Linda! ♥️
Linda with Butter-Dipped Ice CreamLinda with Cat in ReposeLinda with Something on Her FaceLinda in her True Form
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Ed Burmila @edburmila.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The meaningful divide in the Democratic party for the foreseeable future is going to be a lot less about center vs left ideology and a lot more about people who grasp this vs people who don’t.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Ever since I read "Morning Affirmations With Bill," my life has become truly manageable. Thank you, Bill!
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Cliff PervoSCARY @pervocracy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
This is a canary resuscitator, which miners would use to revive canaries that had passed out from toxic gas, because ideally not only do you care, you don't even leave the bird behind. just a little mining history and not at all a furious scream
A canary in a sealed box attached to an oxygen tank
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
When you wonder why they don’t make Crustables
Jaxson Dart
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Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The Fart Left is full of Anqueefa super soldiers
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I'm cookin'. Linda's on sweets. Come blackout on a Monday.
Nasty Galz, a pop-up @ The Trap Room 
Tonight, 5-sell-out.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Jehovah's Witnesses believe that only 144,000 people will go to heaven. There are currently over 9 million of them. And I just want to know if there's a global leaderboard.
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Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
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Stephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
mmygod
the slut gnomes of false berlin jeopardy bluesky posttoday's jeopardy categories. the last 2 are "false berlin" and "bizarre little men"
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
"Is that your first name or your last name?" MR GUY: YES.
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gamera obscura october edition @ohrobin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
If you can’t make your own honeypot from scratch, store-bought is fine.
theguardian.com
FBI warned ICE agents could be targeted by fake ‘tradwife’ dating profiles, memo reveals
Exclusive: Internal FBI memo, reviewed by the Guardian, said women wanted to dox and ‘embarrass’ agents, but provided few details
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Damn you, Quinns, for making me want to gm an rpg, despite having no evidence to suggest I'd be any good at it!
youtu.be
Quinns Quest Reviews: Public Access!
YouTube video by Quinns Quest
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Propose a tax on billionaires.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Unpopular Opinion: If you're sad local restaurants keep closing, but you can't go 24 hours without hitting a corporate chain, I regret to inform you that the call is coming from inside the house.
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Mitch McConnell nearly voted “no” with Democrats until Republicans stepped in and reminded him which way they wanted him to vote.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I keep seeing videos of a guy who catches crabs and lobsters, cracks all the barnacles off them, puts a shrimp in their claws and throws them back. can you imagine. abducted by aliens but they just give you a spa day and hand you two hot dogs and let you go
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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
[responding to trash talk during pick up basketball game] my wife has a bad back so I doubt that happened
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gamera obscura october edition @ohrobin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Yeah, I think so. The breadth increases while the depth dies. We have access to everything, but everything arrives flattened, films without color, objects without craft, buildings without place, art without thought or soul. An infinite menu of impoverishments.
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Mara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Flock is trying to recruit ARTISTS on job recruiting sites. I saw this while helping an artist friend look for part-time jobs and nearly vomited. “Visual storytelling” — What in the Leni Riefenstahl is this shit?
The whole nauseating post:

Creative Director
Flock Z • 4.0 *
Job details
• $200,000 - $250,000 a year
Stock options
• Full-time
• Remote in Los Angeles, CA
Full job description
The Problem
Flock's creative group is expanding as the company raises its standard of visual storytelling and campaign execution across brand, film, and digital experiences. This momentum creates a need for unified creative leadership to turn complex technology and public safety outcomes into compelling, human-centered narratives.
Yakwill aweathat disestiesundbiying thengreative
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jimpers crimpers @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com · 29/04/2026
you wanted to show those fucking kids at Denny's how a real line cook handles their smoke - then you hit one of these and vomit out back before cooking five moon's over my hammys for a table of drunks that were hoisting a plastic piggy bank around and declaring that it needs its own soda
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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I have one thing to say to the people who drive those Jeeps without doors. Monsters are going to get your feet
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Sam Thielmonster @samthielman.com · 08/09/2026
Catholic Batman is called Daredevil
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ILLBRAD 🔞 @blasternation.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
CHANGE MY PIK UP SMACK MY BULB ORP
Edited screenshot of red Pikmin but with the Prodigy: The Fat of the Land album logo on it.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Wait, I thought...
He's right there, isn't he?
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I am the only person on this website with the correct opinions about AI. So correct, in fact, that I wouldn’t want to ruin all your little debates by posting them
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Watching the 38 Most Influential Posters leaderboard
Daniel Kaluuya in Black Mirror's "15 Million Merits"
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Would you like to take a Level One Improv class with me? 🥹 👉👈 www.warehousecomedytheater.com/event-detail...
warehousecomedytheater.com
Level One Improv | Mysite
Rachel has over a decade's worth of teaching experience and almost 15 years of improv performance. She focuses on staying grounded, knowing your scene partner, and playing the (sometimes long) game. W...
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Karl Bode @karlbode.com · 04/09/2026
nice quote from Mandami comms person Emilia Rowland to the New York Times
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Can confirm; very manly.
Banks, my tripod, post surgery for eating hair ties.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I shouldn't have to write this, but your needs of getting something "to remember (my) dad by" are in a direct relationship with how willing you were to help me process my grief in the past 16 months, so forgive me if I don't jump at the notion to help you.
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Y'all act like you've never pissed your pants and fought a bush before.
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
(forgetting the name of klondike bars) i'll have a cold pocket
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Chris Larkin @mostimpressive.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
"The few most-of-us"
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