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cheesebeyondmymeans

@miracaitlin.bsky.social
214 followers 704 following 8 posts

there’s no way to stop my singing in this world but to cut my throat

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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 4h
Six months ago:
theonion.com
DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment
WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans Monday to bring back firing squads as a means of entertainment. “Fo...
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Grandiloquent Word of the Day @grandiloquentwords.bsky.social · 4h
Petrichor [PET-rih-kor] (n.) - The pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather. Use: "The petrichor of a sudden summer shower, mingled with the golden light of the setting sun, transported me straight back to my boyhood on an Iowa farm.”
A "Grandiloquent Word of the Day" meme featuring “Petrichor,” defined as the pleasant smell accompanying the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather. On the right, a black-and-white illustration depicts two figures caught in a heavy rainstorm, shielding their faces beneath their hats. On the left, ornate typography presents the word, its pronunciation, definition, and an example sentence recalling a summer shower and childhood on an Iowa farm.
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Al Jazeera English @aljazeera.com · 4h
The 85-year-old South African judge has spent decades fighting apartheid and genocide.
aljazeera.com
Who is Navi Pillay, winner of the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize?
The 85-year-old South African judge has spent decades fighting apartheid and genocide.
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Alex Burness @burness.bsky.social · 4h
If nothing else, just read the opening paragraphs of the new @vevalenz.bsky.social piece. This sort of casual cruelty, and worse, is so common in U.S. jails/prisons that to most it barely registers as scandalous—but it is, and this reporting really matters: boltsmag.org/california-p...
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SwiftOnSecurity @swiftonsecurity.com · 4h
If CAPITALISTS didn't INVENT TIME how come I DATED ONE and now MY PERIOD is LATE
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 5h
i've identified the Dockers store where Michael Tracy bought and then subsequently returned these pants after wearing them. i will be pursuing criminal prosecution.
Michael Tracey in a light blue sport coat and tan chinos.A close up of the chinos show the sizing sticker is still on the pants.
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Ash vs the Evil Dead @ashflanagan.bsky.social · 18h
Denying Catholic priests the ability to administer sacraments to Catholic prisoners is objectively insanely offensive to Catholicism in a way that almost nothing else could be
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coach smitty @cwsmitty74.bsky.social · 10h
“you got that hit mail piece on Talarico?” “sure thing, boss, real fucking sexy just like you asked” “what?”
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 9h
Wanted to circle back really quick to check in on that "ai is going to cure cancer" topic we discussed. Any progress on that
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Benoît PROVOT @benoitprovot.bsky.social · 11h
In france we hear "woop woop assassin de la police" youtu.be/9ZrAYxWPN6c?...
youtu.be
KRS-One - Sound of da Police (Official Video)
YouTube video by KRSOneVEVO
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Eric Alper @thatericalper.com · 13h
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 21h
Me, trying to make small talk with Ishmael about his podcast
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Vituperative Erb @vituperativeerb.bsky.social · 21h
We seem to be having some success with hot smart people who are good at television, has anyone thought of trying this before
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 08/10/2026
a livestreamed execution is just a lynching
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The Fig Economy @figgityfigs.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Sometimes my wife and I like to send each other text messages as though they’re democratic fundraising messages, and I believe she has produced the jewel of the form.
, it's
and I
have some personal news to share with you.
Being a mom is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I feel deeply that we should have salad tonight
This year has been challenging in many ways, and I have immense gratitude for the kindness and support of family, community, and people like you who have continued to stand by me through everything. It means the world, and I wanted you to be among the first to know that squash is in the oven and kale is in the fridge.As many of you are aware, ve been navigating one of the most challenging periods of my day while waiting for dinner.
Facing baseless federal hunger brought on by not eating since lunch, fighting for the working kids of this country, and now caring for a mean toddler and helping him grow up in a world that isn't always easy. But it has also reminded me exactly why I do this work and who I do it for.
I will never stop working to eat dinner. I will never stop fighting for what is right, even when there is also some feta in the fridge. And I will never stop being so very thankful that you are by my side in this important work and that there is tahini in the pantry for dressing
With love and gratitude,
stop to end
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
gregor samsa awoke one morning to discover he had been transformed into a sickass beetle. fuck yeah he said scuttling all over the walls and ceiling like no dumbfuck traveling salesman could ever do. this is the best day of my life he said
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Hemry, Local Bartender @bartenderhemry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
our parrot has decided he loves campbells tomato soup. since he can only drink like, a shotglass full of it, we always have a bowl (minus one shot) of tomato soup leftover. because of this i have perfected my grilled cheese procedure:
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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
me to the person sitting next to me on the bus: “u know…hemry the local bartender on blue sky…the one whose parrot likes campbells tomato soup”
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
@CethanLeahy

Me: oh wow, this shop has everything my heart desires!

Spooky shopkeeper: yes, I will warn you... every item comes with a price.

Me: yes, I know how shops work

kittydesade

Spooky Shopkeeper: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Me: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

del3141

Shopkeeper, increasingly exasperated: I'm trying to tell you that I'm evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Me, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too goddammit
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NPR @npr.org · 07/10/2026
Researchers uncovered the graves of more than 1,000 children next to juvenile detention facilities in 29 states. At one Maryland gravesite, 230 Black boys are buried. n.pr/4zauALa
n.pr
Over 1,000 children are buried at juvenile detention centers nationwide
Researchers uncovered the graves of more than 1,000 children next to juvenile detention facilities in 29 states. At one Maryland gravesite, 230 Black boys are buried.
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ogre-g 👹 @libidinalspaces.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
she's got that joie de leave
A thin, red leaf on concrete. It's on its side such that it looks like a pair of lips
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Steve Mullis @stevemullis.net · 05/10/2026
[car dealership waiting room] Me: [chanting] knobs, knobs- Other car buyers: knobs, KNOBS Car salesman: [pounding desk] KNOBS, KNOBS, KNOBS!
forbes.com
Knobs Returning To Some Automakers’ Vehicles, To The Relief Of Many
Auto companies are listening to the complaints of consumers, who want their knobs and buttons back.
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Bill Mudron @mudron.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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ceej @ceej.online · 06/10/2026
Interesting. I guess the New York Times thinks it’s appropriate for their employees to threaten to bonk me on the head and play horseshoes with my prominent goose egg. To fill my mouth with piano keys that fall out while tweety birds circle around my noggin. To turn my head into a giant whistle,
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Ms T 🐘💙🎵📚 @elephantlass.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Sunday
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Kill Tim Faust 💀 @tbone.malware-virus.biz · 05/10/2026
I believe it is good to be polite to robots not because they have consciousness (they do not) but because it is bad for the soul to let oneself become a vehicle for cruelty, even if directed at inanimate objects.
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United Farm Workers @ufw.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
"Carlos" shares, "I've worked in ag for 15+ years in the Brawley, CA area. Right now I'm driving the tractor preparing the land for planting. The temperature is over 105°, so I have to drink a lot of water to avoid dehydration." #WeFeedYou
A farm worker standing to the side of his tractor
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Sedna51 @sedna51.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I know I’m getting old because I just put my feet up and that shit absolutely hit
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
this is my favorite genre of social media post and I am soliciting links or screenshots to your favorites
Jesse Raub @jesseraub.online
King Darius looking down at Daniel in the pit:
Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan....
Man, what are the Lions doing?
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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Cornell University has announced that the Cornell Seven will not be allowed to use AI to write their University-mandated rape apology essays.
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Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
There is no McTry. There is only:
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 05/10/2026
feels like at least part of what is happening is that a lot of people want politics to solve the "my life feels empty" problem and the populist right is directly appealing to them
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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
all this is both foolish and unnecessary
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Can you imagine being a Northerner at the start of the civil war. All the fancy lad West Point military guys are Southerners. Your president is a backwoods yokel one term congressman and your generals are some guys we found at a 7-Eleven. It's over for our ass...unless all those guys are geniuses
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Tweet from Film Daze (@filmdaze):

Blade Runner 2049 directed by Denis Villeneuve

(image of a cat bathed in pink/purple light looking up at a giant screen with a sexy cat on it)
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Rick Havoc @rickhavoc.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
The staffers who assured Eric Shmitt that Jack Smith was definitely at an Atlanta Hawks game have been identified.
Hillary and Obama laughing.
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gains @gains-skeets.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Sure man. Argue with the pope on Twitter
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 03/10/2026
Kyle Reese talking to Sarah Connor in Terminator 1
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy
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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Art thou a silk-worm? Dost thou spin thy own shroud out of thyself?
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Niaouro Psaka 25:17 @niapsaka.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This is just a modern Herodotus.
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Kragar @kragar.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tweet from Steven (with a ph) (@SJKSalisbury):

[Googling instructions for disarming a bomb] 
For me, disarming bombs is indelibly linked to afternoons spent in my grandmother's kitchen, watching her carefully iron the parchment paper that the nitroglycerin came bound in (to be reused at Christm
[Hurried scrolling]
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
awoke this morning with a Vision
that diagram showing  the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile
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David Zinn @davidzinn.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Luckily, Dennis' physique fits neatly inside a coozie on cold mornings.
sidewalk chalk drawing of a small lizard standing on the street with a purple foam rubber can cooler fit snugly around his torso
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ceej @ceej.online · 29/09/2026
emulsions… very “enemies-to-lovers”
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
You don’t need a data center to make spaghetti
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