Reposted by Billy HurleyTim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Officiant: If anyone present knows of any reason why these two should not be wed— Fan standing up in back of the church: 71 OPS+ by the way 121426204
Reposted by Billy HurleyMicah @rincewind.run · 21/09/2026congratulations to everyone on reinventing Worse Cable 94115062837
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I just signed my son up for Youth Betting on Sports 031
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 16/09/2026They should do an Emmys for the best shows that you half-watch while you’re doing other stuff: Kitchen Nightmares, Shark Tank, American Ninja Warrior, etc 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 13/09/2026“CAN I COME WITH YOU? HEY! CAN I COME WITH YOU?” —Hot honey now whenever pepperoni does anything 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Let’s call the whole thing Off. —bug spray creators 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 07/09/2026Oh god it’s almost time for movies-about-movies season 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Enjoy your Labor Day! Take the day off! Get an Uber! Go grocery shopping! Get a coffee! Go to the movies! Have somebody wait on you! 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Snacks love to brag that they’re “made with real peanut butter.” What was it gonna be? 111
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I’m having a hard time figuring out how a lot of the stuff in Project Hail Mary could happen. Like going to another solar system and having triceps. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 05/09/2026My Dad used to coach third base on my Little League team. I never got to see him. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I was so bad at sports that one time I thought I had Athlete’s Foot and the doctor said “Let’s not get carried away….” 130
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 31/08/2026In high school I tried to seem older by saying it was ADULT acne 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Whenever I ruin a rehearsal dinner, I try to remember that it’s just practice. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 26/08/2026When ppl water the sidewalk in NYC, do you think they’re imagining a yard? 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 23/08/2026“It’s all falling apart!” —when you’re cooking a pork shoulder and it’s either going really good or really bad. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Remember when personal email was kinda fun and not like shoveling a driveway? 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 19/08/2026I watch so much Below Deck that when ppl ask me if I went on vacation this summer I tell them “Kinda” 010
Reposted by Billy HurleyThe Onion @theonion.com · 15/08/2026Announcers Watch Angels-Royals Game In Total Silence 272059200
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 15/08/2026I liked the back sides of pillows before they were cool. 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Nothing wakes me up like a cold brew I didn’t realize was $8.71. 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Everybody on Big Brother lifts weights all day like it’s prison and then the challenge is “Do a Paw Patrol puzzle.” 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Ppl who have matching top and bottom pajamas, congrats on having your life together. I slept in my jeans from 2009-2012. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Gordon Ramsay after making somebody’s menu shorter.static.klipy.comALT: 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 05/08/2026People who buy blush? Its like just get embarrassed. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 03/08/2026We actually already knew this in Boston cause everybody gets the day off. 110
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 31/07/2026Fast and the Furious never shows when they all have to alternate-side park. 010
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Big Brother is the dumbest show I’ve watched 900 straight episodes of. 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Crazy that fast food is unhealthy now cause of the lettuce 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 26/07/2026I can tell the rich families at the playground cause their kids play “airport.” 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Oh the meaning of my tattoo? It’s Latin for “Keys, Phone, Wallet” 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 17/07/2026I want to see The Odyssey in IMAX but it’ll probably be on back of plane seat. 100
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Big Brother likes to talk about “comp beasts” but the comps are “name the shape.” 000
Billy Hurley @billyhurls.bsky.social · 16/07/2026Today is not the day to go outside and eat some lettuce 010
Reposted by Billy HurleyRazzball @razzball.bsky.social · 16/07/2026It’s a combination Taco Bell-Urgent Care 1110213
