Reposted by Matt Morris
Friends, on the matter of dodgy men in transit vans, allow me to tell you about me, two future members of the House of Lords, and the massive suspect package.
Matt Morris
@matthewmorris.bsky.social
331 followers 2.1K following 295 posts
A sometime mathematician and software engineer who should arguably have done something else instead. A convert to Bluesky's block-heavy approach: "But the little children, to save any bother, Let it in at one ear and out at the other."
![•(.Zannah.). :: [manic pixie robot girl]
@zannah
This is the scale that I will be using for everything from now on.
Boasting a guest verse from Dr. Dre, what classic '90s R&B hit features Blackstreet singing, "I like the way you work it"?
A: No Diggity
B: Hardly Any Diggity
C: A Fair Amount of Diggity
D: An Overwhelming Surplus of Diggity](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ov6ksblbmitfo45xyfia4nk7/bafkreigamp2udonl5somqyhnvf6qs6ubc3wsioc2udqe5dpramzde7ggle)
![[Scene is a MOON BASE on the moon. The Moonbase has an AMAZON logo on the top of its domed glass roof. From inside it, we hear a voice.]:
WHEEEE
Cut to interior scene. We see it is the voice of a man in a space suit, bouncing around in the low gravity, having a great time. We gradually realise that this man is Jeff Bezos.
Boing
haha.
Wheeee!
[close in on Jeff's face]
JEFF BEZOS:
Alexa!
Set gravity to ‘Earth’.
ALEXA HOME SPEAKER:
Sure! Ending poverty on Earth now…
JEFF BEZOS:
No!
Alexa, *stop*…
Set gravity levels to 'Earth'.
ALEXA:
Sure Jeff.
Whum. [Jeff gently sticks to the ground]
[Pause.]
ALEXA:
Jeff - would you like to continue with: 'End poverty on Earth'?
[Jeff thinks about this for a very long time, his face in a rictus of awkwardness. His eyes dart left and right in his head, while he is frozen in thought. This goes on for many panels.]
[in the final panel it just cuts to Jeff bouncing again, saying "Wheee"]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibkj24ak2v5skl5nbpmtqdgacbxu2xpshl6n3xhj3zobv72qgyo4e)
