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Lizard Bimly

@kimberlizard.bsky.social
161 followers 75 following 17 posts
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Reposted by Lizard Bimly
Simon @simonxix.com · 05/10/2026
Oh look, a direct impact of the strike at University of Edinburgh.
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Pizz of hut
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Rogs @stev.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
Thomas of Gotchi
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Austin Flowers @austinflowers.bsky.social · 12/05/2024
I’m going to name my vegan bowling team ‘the Pirates of the Carrageenan’.
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cville1989🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 @cville1989.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Psyllium Hüsker Dü
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
my dentist: (throwing ninja stars into my gums) ope you’re bleeding
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Froghammer @froghammer.bsky.social · 20/12/2024
I heard they're charging Luigi Mangione with littering now, because he dropped 200 pounds of trash on the sidewalk
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 24/08/2023
i wish i could find a pair of glasses that didnt make me look like a glasses wearing bitch
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RedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 18/07/2024
DAUGHTER: What would you like for your birthday? ME: [wanting only for her to continue to share the bits of the world she finds meaningful, for her to find moments of joy as so much of experience conspires against it, for her to move both toward and away from the self] I could use some new socks
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 18/04/2024
and i got u and baby you’ve got me hey hey hey what you say, Chili dog
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 15/04/2024
Cybertrucks are being recalled due to an error with Juicer Mode. The whirling blades are only supposed to extend when the car is filled with fruits/vegetables and all humans have exited the vehicle, but wearing a red shirt tricks the sensor into thinking you’re a strawberry
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 19/04/2024
scifi enjoyers: The aliens are peaceful and will teach Humanity how to travel the stars. They envy our ability to love humans to less advanced species: I'm either going to eat that thing or put it to work making something else I can eat. I'm pretty sure it has no consciousness or thoughts
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 18/04/2024
and i got u and baby you’ve got me hey hey hey what you say, Chili dog
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 17/11/2023
SPEECH THERAPIST: okay let’s start with the alphabet SCOOBY DOO: ray ree ree ree ree ref ree SPEECH THERAPIST: *into intercom* cancel all my appointments
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Stabbatha Christy @lovenlunchmeat.bsky.social · 25/10/2023
Nobody who was good to their ex is still nervously watching everything they say and do years later, but you do you, Justin Timberlake.
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🪦 Spooky Scrotum 🪦 @scrotum-philips.bsky.social · 15/03/2024
2 panels of frames from a 70s game show, arranged vertically. 
in the first, a man in a suit with a mustache (presumably the host) is leaning in to talk to a panel of contestants. he asks “the most romantic sounding musical instrument?”
in the second panel, a man with glasses that looks vaguely like john lennon with shorter hair (he is wearing a name tag that says steve) responds, “Drums”
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Dan (spooky version) @sh0rtshine.bsky.social · 27/11/2023
Nardwuar: April 19, 2044! Me: Uhh, I'm not sure... Nardwuar: The date when you will.... Me: ........ Nardwuar: 🤓 Me: The date when I will what? Nardwuar: 🤓 Me [tearing up]: The date when I will what, Nardwuar?
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 06/11/2023
dont mind me, just a non-sentient studio ghibli lookin sewing desk minding my own business
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Dan (spooky version) @sh0rtshine.bsky.social · 16/10/2023
Yes, we made $80 billion profit last year, which was 149% up from the previous year. But our target was 150%, so as a result, we are laying off 50% of the workforce and replacing all our raw materials with cardboard
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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
🎶jimmy crack corn and he eat world🎶
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 04/08/2023
imagining a doctor driving by an apple orchard and hissing aggressively at it like a vampire
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hotsietozzi @hotsietozzi.bsky.social · 08/09/2023
I just, once, want to pause to glance angrily at someone before taking off one earring to make a phone call. Is that too much to ask?
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 14/06/2023
if you ever fall off a cliff, a good final bit you could do is try to look really bored on the way down. check your watch, etc
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 24/08/2023
i wish i could find a pair of glasses that didnt make me look like a glasses wearing bitch
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 22/08/2023
you can kill 2 birds with one stone or you can leave no tern unstoned it’s totally your call
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 22/08/2023
Getting my tongue forked at Claire’s.
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 19/08/2023
Stop trying to scare me with the state of the world. I’m already scared about smaller, dumber things
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Lizard Bimly @kimberlizard.bsky.social · 19/08/2023
the happiest version of me is me eating a jumbo corndog like my pfp
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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 19/08/2023
Satan may have cloven hooves but God has bird feet and always has to scoot sideways along His wooden perch.
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