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KID DETECTIVE

@kiddetective.bsky.social
178 followers 230 following 150 posts

What went we into this wilderness to find? he/him.

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Microplastics Sommelier @eephus.mov · 14/07/2026
good news, everybody! that pre-immortal ceo who was harvesting his son's lifeforce is crashing out and comparing himself to "Gilgamesh, Asclepius, and Jesus"
Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

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The world wants me to die. My incurable disease diagnosis became global news. It was omnipresent on social media and 1,900 articles were written in a matter of days. Many were saddened. However, joy dominated the commentary.
[so many words later...]
I deserved it because I challenged death. The crowd was running a deeply rooted psychological script that represents the oldest, most deeply embedded stories of human culture. This was the first story ever written down, 4,000 years ago. Gilgamesh sought eternal life after losing someone he loved, only to have the plant of youth stolen by a serpent as he bathed. Leaving him to accept his mortality.
[even more words later.]
For if death is inevitable, their existence and that of their loved ones is justified and unavoidable. If death is not inevitable, nothing about their reality is safe. I occupy the same philosophical and archetypal position as Gilgamesh, Asclepius and Jesus.
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bea!! @yoloft.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
celebrate good times come on
Drawing of a bunch of little glowing creatures smiling and dancing in a circle on the grave of Doctor Hateful
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Nathan Goldwag @goldwagnathan.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsay Graham was, I think, one of the most contemptible figures in US politics, a titan of respectable bipartisan foreign policy for years who displayed no principles, no insight, and no beliefs beyond a gleeful and vicarious love of violence. An indictment of every institution he served in. RIP.
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leftylady.bsky.social @leftylady.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Curious to hear Mitch McConnell's comments on the passing of Lindsey Graham.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Mainstream Respectable opinion is that people joking about a bad person's death represents a culture of cruelty, but really it represents a culture of impunity. It's a coping mechanism for watching someone do evil their whole life and never seeing consequences
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Staffer: Senator McConnell is taking a much needed vacation with friends in The Hamptons
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Hatloween @talkinghat.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
having done this at least twice I would like to remind you that it’s highly entertaining to call McConnell’s office and ask if he’s dead
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ceej @ceej.online · 22/04/2026
you can make it pretty far in life by just not being an annoying dickhead. which is why it's strange that so many people seem to be dickheadmaxxing
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
imagine if it happens on tv
3 panel comic

Panel 1: 
A crowd is watching TV in a bar. The TV is facing away from the reader. The crowd ecstatically screams “YEAHHHH!”

Panel 2: 
A new guy walks into shot from the left and says “You guys watching football?”
A guy in crowd answers “Nope”

Panel 3:
The new guy looks at the TV screen and immediately screams “OH FUCK YEAH”
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Cheryl Lynn Eaton @cheryllynneaton.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
I say this with much regret during Black History Month: Every skeleton in this man's closet needs to be yanked out. He needs to understand that aligning with fascists to kneecap a Democratic candidate and push antiblack policies is not worth the money they are offering. (That typo annoyed me.)
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Robert Daniels @812filmreviews.com · 03/02/2026
Not only is it Black History Month. It’s also its 100th anniversary!! To commemorate its centennial, I wrote a list of 10 Black films, one from each of the last 10 decades, to stream.
nytimes.com
10 Movies to Stream for Black History Month
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the kat from HOUSE (1977) @dogunderwater.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
the private school and landlord labeler has added 'epstein connection' as a label just fyi
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🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 13/07/2025
Thank god we have a 230 year old piece of paper to protect us. I’ll sleep easier
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Kaitlin Kal Lee @kaitlinkallee.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
Remember : Epstein’s victims have already told us the names of the men who had done a lot of these crimes, we know there’s a list, we know this is a cover up.
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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
we built orc city (we built orc city) on rocks and bones
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Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Anyone who is anti-age limits on political power needs to take a hard fucking look at Diane Feinstein and Donald Trump as examples of why you should not let elders with mental diminishment stay in office
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Ben Goggin @bengoggin.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
ICEblock, which allows users to alert others to the geographical location of ICE officers, is the top social networking app in the App Store right now after Karoline Leavitt condemned it from the podium yesterday.
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Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 09/06/2025
Truth-tellers, not rioters. Protect these two men at all costs. “You feel tough with your assault rifles and your sticks. You should be standing here with us. You’re on the wrong side of history.” “John Lewis said make good trouble… that means make trouble on behalf of democracy.”
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Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
“Anyone”
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 27/04/2025
america rn
4 panel comic

Panel 1: Mum pushing her baby in a pushchair. ICE agent blocks their path and says “cute baby. mind if I lean in closer?”

Panel 2: ICE agent leaning close to baby, revealing a microphone/wire in his jacket.
Baby: Ga-Ga

Panel 3: ICE agent in inside unmarked van rips off his headphones and screams “WE’VE GOT THAT MOTHERFUCKER”
Behind him other ICE agents grab guns

Panel 4: ICE agent pinning down baby with his foot. He points a gun at the baby and yells “STAY DOWN SCUMBAG”
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KID DETECTIVE @kiddetective.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Happy National Donut Day, everybody! #Dilla #JDilla #Donuts #Blacksky
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KID DETECTIVE @kiddetective.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
This just came in the mail today! It was well worth the wait. Thank you @jacobgeller.com
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Kye @gxldsociety.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Rare audio. Celia Black, 1974 - 114 years old, remembering the slave fields. Her voice isn't ancient history — it's a reminder we're only a generation removed from this. Think you know American history? You don't. 🧠ERASED reveals what they buried. 📖Read it. Share it: stan.store/gxldsociety/...
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Anna Hughes 🍁 @annaghughes.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake
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wint @dril.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will
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✨ A Goddess has NO KING ✨ @the-goddess-speaks.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
A Florida weatherman telling his viewers he can no longer be confident in his forecasts due to cuts to atmospheric science is the kind of resistance content I’m here for. Kudos, Sir.🌦️
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Kayla Shaggy @kaylawayla20.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
Help Jonathan Joss' husband. A GFM has been set up: gofund.me/58c2e16d
gofund.me
Donate to Help ‘King of the Hill’ Actor Jonathan Joss After Fire, organized by Logan Kostroun
We are raising funds to support Jonathan Joss, the beloved voice… Logan Kostroun needs your support for Help ‘King of the Hill’ Actor Jonathan Joss After Fire
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KID DETECTIVE @kiddetective.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
@thelouvreof.bsky.social This belongs in a museum.
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Aubrey @aubrey.northsky.social · 02/06/2025
Jonathan Joss--voice actor of John Redcorn from King of the Hill, and Ken Hotate from Parks and Rec--was killed in a homophobic hate crime today. I'm so angry.
Statement from Tristan Kern de Gonzales
Husband of Jonathan Joss

My husband Jonathan Joss and I were involved in a shooting while checking the mail at the site of our former home. That home was burned down after over two years of threats from people in the area who repeatedly told us they would set it on fire. We reported these threats to law enforcement multiple times and nothing was done.

Throughout that time we were harassed regularly by individuals who made it clear they did not accept our relationship. Much of the harassment was openly homophobic.

When we returned to the site to check our mail we discovered the skull of one of our dogs and its harness placed in clear view. This caused both of us severe emotional distress. We began yelling and crying in response to the pain of what we saw.

While we were doing this a man approached us. He started yelling violent homophobic slurs at us. He then raised a gun from his lap and fired.

Jonathan and I had no weapons. We were not threatening anyone. We were grieving. We were standing side by side. When the man fired Jonathan pushed me out of the way. He saved my life.

Jonathan is my husband. He gave me more love in our time together than most people ever get. We were newlyweds. We picked Valentines Day. We were in the process of looking for a trailer and planning our future.

He was murdered by someone who could not stand the sight of two men loving each other.

I was with him when he passed. I told him how much he was loved.

To everyone who supported him, his fans, his friends, know that he valued you deeply. He saw you as family.

My focus now is on protecting Jonathan’s legacy and honoring the life we built together.

If your concern is how someone coped with trauma or how loudly they speak when recounting injustice and being ignored by authorities then you never truly cared about my husband.

Jonathan saved my life. I will carry that forward. I will protect what he built.

    Tristan Kern de Gonzales
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onion person @junlper.beer · 02/06/2025
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 02/06/2025
Flood the line.
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KID DETECTIVE @kiddetective.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
An LGBT broke into our home today. If it wasn't for our brave house cat, my boyfriend and I might have turned gay.
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You're on mute @elonmuskshairplugs.bsky.social · 01/06/2025
NYPD unveiled a rainbow colored baton that they will use to beat protesters this month.
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KinoFabino 🇵🇸 @kinofabino.bsky.social · 01/06/2025
Happy pride to u pimps
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theSoreWinner @thesorewinner.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
@chickfila.bsky.social this YOU❔ noted and done. #Harlem US ALWAYS 👊🏽💥
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Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
Beyond parody.
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
I bet if you spent 10 hours explaining the Ship of Theseus to Joe Rogan he’d be very into it and use it a lot afterwards, but never correctly
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Have A Gay Day @haveagayday.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
Never forget
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Cooperstreaming ♿️ @cooperstreaming.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
Some guy on Twitter made a point of announcing that thousands upon thousands of men are descended from rapists, and we women "aren't going to like it when [they] stop asking nicely." Which, you know, surprise surprise brother, but you're also not going to like it when we stop refusing nicely.
The painting titled Judith Beheading Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi. The painting portrays the moment that Judith beheads Holofernes, mid act of sawing his head off with a sword.  Judith grasps his hair as he lies face up on his bed and cuts the sword across to behead him while blood spurts out of his neck. Another woman helps hold him down as he attempts to resist.
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Anna Bower @annabower.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
Spotted in Kansas City, Missouri: Patriot Front—a white nationalist hate group—holding its annual Memorial Day march in front of the national WWI museum and memorial. They wore masks, carried shields and flags.
Group of men in khakis, navy shirts, and masks walking in the city center of Kansas City, Mo. they’re carrying flags
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Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
‼️‼️
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Shen Comix @shenanigansen.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
if you're ever sad alone silently, consider this: - i hold a copyright on being like that - you are encroaching on my intellectual property - i will send you a cease & desist - i will possibly take you to court so please make yourself legally distinct by talking to someone about it
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
I cannot believe this shot went in
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KID DETECTIVE @kiddetective.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
Fear passes from man to man Like one leaf passes its shudder to another Soon the whole tree is trembling And there is no sign of wind.
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Mister November @misternov3mber.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
Lol. So many good ones.

Vernon Maxwell

@VernonMaxwell11

I'm not sure why I'm getting so much heat from OKC fans. I think it's a great city. They have a great Walmart and the VHS section of their Blockbuster always has a nice selection. People in Utah would die to have those things. #begrateful
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