Sign in

Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers.

@brianmwise.bsky.social
7.5K followers 1.9K following 19K posts

Unabashedly blue in my politics. Profane in my wit (or half of it). Adept in the Way of Absolute Candor. Pronouns aren't hard to learn. Anti-assclown/troll/MAGAT curator of the #BlockTheseTwitteratwits list. Living Among Clouds, Emerald City. Always Ω

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers.
S.J.💙🩵💙🦋🦓 @glimmers2.bsky.social · 5h
A study in valor. Imagine testifying against the most powerful criminal on the planet?
863193808
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 3h
I feel like "men who don't know sports" is a brush that I'd get tarred with. A little unjustly. I knew every sport I've ever played quite well. I don't bother retaining the information when I'm done with it, tho Tell me the rules of rugby other than "all body parts must be returned to their owner"
200
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
Folks, I gotta say: I genuinely can't tell who wore the expression better
020
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
Gonna be honest right now if I was anyone in the Trump regime, my highest priorities for personal finance and travel would be, in this order: - filling up those offshore financial accounts - researching the best vacation spots in non-extradition countries - call buddy at State about a 2nd passport
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
Eric Schmitt: "The Dumber Version of Ted Cruz"
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
So, I had an older guy tell me the other day as I'm pulling out the wood from a raised bed from the front yard "oh, save that wood! You can use it. It's still good." The 2x6 of cedar I held up was rotted ALL THE WAY THROUGH. I consider myself crafty/handy, but no This is a metaphor for the GOP.
130
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
Oh man, the AgSec is on camera talking about the shitty AI website making it harder to use the website to *checks notes* get services from the US government
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
The thing I love about C-SPAN is they just show you talking. That's it.
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 4h
I'm going to start yelling "THERE'S NO RULE AGAINST IT" as my reason for doing everything, even though I've never, ever seen Air Bud or any of its sequels and there are probably a bunch of rules against whatever I'm doing. BECAUSE Yeah, you know
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 5h
I don't want to defund the police. How would we arrest all the people who committed fraud and stole money from Americans for their own personal use? Can't do that without cops.
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 5h
Okay I heard it a few days ago but it took seeing Gavin Newsom on C-SPAN for me to realize exactly how much he reminds me of Gul Dukat from DS9 You can't unsee it, even though Marc Alaimo looks NOTHING like Gavin Newsom (sorry Marc, it's a vile comparison) And the answer is "nooooope"
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 5h
I would totally sit on the opposite side of Jonathan Frakes and answer these questions but only if I could do it in the original Klingon
120
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 7h
Today I learned that when Leif Erikson returned to Iceland and saw that he was no longer listed as a resident of the vilage, he stormed up to the chief and demanded to know why the chief apologized and said he must have taken Leif of his census THANKS I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK
130
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
"hey can you 3D print me this thing?" ...yes, but it'll take like $40 of filament, 3 days and you can buy it off Amazon for $15. "Can you do it for me tho?" Sure, pay me $5 an hour for print time and the filament. "No, like for free" HAHAHAHAHA sorry I sometimes laugh hysterically for no reason
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
Every so often I check to see how many people blocked me on the listifications app and I laugh because most are obvious trollbots and false flag accounts once I spend the energy looking them up. Which is fine, because if you're following me, you WILL get offended by some shit I say at some point
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
"That's going to be the part that's clipped, by the way," Gaines said. "It's going to be, like, 'Riley is so stupid and doesn't actually think Helen Keller is real.'" Yep, That'e exactly what I thought, Riley. Thanks for summing it up perfectly. www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
I am working in my office, which also happens to be in the same vast space the cat litter happens to be and I'm beginning to think the change of brands in canned gooshy food for kitties was a bad idea Holy crap imma install a bathroom fan or something jesus
110
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
Folks, I'm calling time on the Cornell thing. Susan Collins thinks the boys have learned their lesson. She's still very concerned, but she definitely thinks they know not to feed a woman daterape drugs and then gang rape her now.
200
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 9h
Fun thing to note: You can sing all of Emily Dickinson's poetry (well except for one or two) to the Gilligan's Island theme song. Also "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals And you can sing House of the Rising Sun to the Gilligan's Island theme song, and vice versa.
200
Reposted by Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers.
Arbaz Kakkar5 @arbazkakkar5.bsky.social · 13h
I believe a President should be impeached every time they commit an impeachable act
631671300
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
You know, we could stop gas prices from going up at any time, folks. All we have to do is remove the Trump regime from office and warn his successor he better get his shit together or we'll do the same thing to him
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
I watched Eric Schmitt do almost everything he could to pretend that a college basketball game held in Maryland was a professional basketball game in Atlanta and rant at a colleague who proved him both a liar and an ACTUAL committer of perjury in a Senate Judiciary hearing. Eric Schmitt lied.
110
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
We used to say "jesus, that guy is a total nimrod". Now I guess we can say "jesus, that guy is a total Eric Schmitt"
120
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
No offense to Canadians but if you're just now realizing that Donald Trump is a complete shitshow and so are the people who put him up on that fencepost, I assure you that America has been seeing this shit for well over 40 years
141
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
Trump: he didn't say nice things about me I'm sorry, Donald, that's just because you're a dementia-riddled syphilitic con man, convicted felon, pedophile and rapist who has spent an entire life being the punchline to the worst joke ever pulled on America. But your hair looks nice today so fuck you
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
Free advice: Live your life so it doesn't come out two years later that you explicitly covered up the gang rape of a woman in a frat house and gave the rapists extra homework as their only punishment while expelling students whose crime in its entirety was saying "Free Palestine" in public.
200
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
TBH, I feel like being someone who enjoyed doing HEMA combat on Jan 6 as a rep or senator would not have served me well simply because I am a dumb male who would have thought "I can totally gear up and bring Felicia out front if I can get to the office" But Congress frowns on literal battleaxes, so
110
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
Nikki Minaj cannot vote in US elections, because she is a green card holder, she is not a US citizen. Her husband cannot vote in US elections, he is a registered felon & sex offender. Her brother cannot vote in US elections, he's serving 25 years in prison for raping his 11 year old stepdaughter.
200
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 10h
Man, I sort of envy Josh Hawley's material presentation setup. He had those made pretty quick, even if they're complete garbage
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
Note that the Republicans who are trying to grill Jack Smith are playing at prosecution "yes or no, yes or no" and thinking they're searing him, but without realizing they failed to even connect the propane tank much less turn the grill on
142
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
Oh look, Josh Hawley out here admitting that political crimes are in fact about politics
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
Are we all just watching this Jack Smith thing because for political nerds it's like watching the playoffs where the #1 team in America goes up against the stoned and drunk junior varsity team from Falwell Bible Tech or am I just reading too much into this
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
A hedge witch is a lady who got sick and tired of seeing her neighbors walk around in their undies and planted some goddamn arborvitae A hedge fund manager is an asshole who makes money primarily on when bad shit goes down Don't confuse the two
020
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
I genuinely do not want Jefferies to be Speaker of the House. I do not want Schumer, or any of the other centrist Dems to be in charge Because NOTHING WILL CHANGE
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
For 20 years every time I drove by this sign it was ALWAYS some far-right drivel posted by a white supremacist with far more ego than brains. I always flipped it off. Always. Like holding your breath through a tunnel. Then the tribe bought it. I stopped.
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
And now Thom Tillis performs the "I'm not truly one of the assholes but I'm still going to be a dickhead who put these clowns in power" tapdance
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
It's easy to stand up and denounce the very thing you spent ten years profiting from when you get a comfy pension and speaking gigs. It's not so easy when your moral and ethical stand should have been taken one year into your job, and you chose to profit off it instead. I'm talking about MTG.
020
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 11h
The most annoying habit most Canadians have to me, an American, is their tendency to say "sorry" for no reason at all in completely inappropriate contexts. The good news is I'm pretty sure Trump just guaranteed Canadians are never, EVER going to use that word with him. Ever.
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
Clearly, the violent gang rape of a drugged woman deserves *checks notes* essays in why rape is bad, and essays on the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza by Israel is *checks notes* worthy of expulsion
031
Reposted by Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers.
nick @unionnick.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
On the *same day* the Cornell Seven drugged and raped Jane Doe, Cornell banned four students (including the President of Cornell JVP) from campus for three years for nonviolent, pro-Palestine protests. The same Cornell officials let the rapists off with apology essays.
3546891827
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
Ted Cruz: Mr. Smith, you and I have never met. Yet you investigated me Jesus fucking Christ Ted, that's what prosecutors do you utter shitclown
210
Reposted by Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers.
emptywheel @emptywheel.bsky.social · 13h
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAH. Eric Schmitt just accused Jack Smith of lying about going to an Atlanta Hawk's basketball game. Smith went to see the Iowa Hawkeyes.
30157631074
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
Schmitt is such a fucking moron
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
Still harkening back to those good old days when people got fired from their jobs for *checking notes* accurately quoting shit Charlie Kirk said on the record in public in reaction to Charlie Kirk pissing people off so badly one of them shot him
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
Guys, the real reason Trump falls asleep is simple: They stopped letting him snort meth
100
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 12h
The GOP trying to grill Jack Smith is literally a bunch of performative fuckwits trying to go toe-to-toe with a man who prosecuted war criminals at the Hague who tried to have him killed. I don't know if these fucking clowns understand the concept of "this guy stared down mass murderers, you twit"
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 13h
So, not for nothing, but if you get a long extension pole and a specific tool you can mount a can of spray paint to a pole and spray over things from the ground up to 20 feet up with consistent accuracy. This is totally unrelated to Flock cameras. Swearsies
121
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 13h
Karl Rovs said "The GOP are fascists" and failed to mention he'd been editing the contributions to Mein Kampf Weekly for the past 30 years
000
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 13h
OpenAI is just stealing everyone's shit right out in the open.
010
Brian M. Wise: Snarkasaurus Rex. Ω, MFers. @brianmwise.bsky.social · 13h
Oddly enough if a gang rapist winds up losing their scholarship, their school credits, their job prospects, and they are expelled from college over it, I'm more or less okay with that, especially if what they participated in was a gang rape
021