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petty mayonnaise

@kalehummus.bsky.social
345 followers 297 following 1.2K posts

critically acclaimed she/her

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Reposted by petty mayonnaise
The Onion @theonion.com · 16h
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank
theonion.com
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank
WASHINGTON—In a joint statement outlining the mission shared by hundreds of thousands of elderly American citizens, the nation’s 93-year-olds announced a new plan this week to crash their cars into th...
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 6h
Me, to my cat, in a baby voice: as if you could outrun me! As if you could fight me off!
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Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 13h
No notes
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donoteat @donoteat.bsky.social · 8h
lotta people out here bragging about "training models" but why do that when you can model trains
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
@JFriedhoff

me at 13: wow i can't wait til we have immersive computers everywhere like star trek
me at 30: wow i can't wait until we destroy all computers like in dune
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Brent Toderian @brenttoderian.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
To carry 50,000 people per hour in each direction, a city needs a 175m wide road for cars. Even if those cars are electric. And then there’s all the parking. OR a city can move A LOT MORE people in a lot less space, with A LOT LESS public money, emissions, pollution, noise etc. Choices. Simple.
Graphic showing a single lane 9 m wide track for metros, a 35 m wide road for buses with four lanes, and a 175 m wide road for cars with seven lanes, making the point that one single track of Metro replaces seven lanes of car traffic. Mobility in cities is about space.
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Dr Hannah M. Rowland @hannahmrowland.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Hope your day was better than Darwin’s, on this day 165 years ago
I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody &everything.

Charles Darwin
Letter to Charles Lyell
1st October 1861
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Is mamdani the mayor of Richard scarrys busytown or what
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Stan Oklobdzija @stano.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The story of American politics is the story of a C student who cannot help but start big projects the night before they are due. We've seen this coming for decades, but in response, we just made cars bigger and more deadly.
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Gregg Levine @greggjlevine.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It’s too wordy for a bumper sticker or a tattoo—or even a tee shirt—but there should be daily reminders out there. If elected leaders and public health officials won’t do their job, then it’s up to all of us. Vax, mask, mitigate, treat… care.
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
President Evil (2026)
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Matthew Dowd @matthewjdowd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Latest WSJ poll: "63% want to pause AI development 61% want a billionaire wealth tax 59% want Medicare for All 57% want a $20 minimum wage 58% want to end U.S. military aid to Israel" This is the center of the country politically. it is time all adjust to this political spectrum, esp. media.
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Hearsay @hearsay.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
Reminder about "They're here ILLEGALLY" Being undocumented is a civil offense, not a criminal one. That's why they're not entitled to a court-appointed lawyer, why it's "civil detention" not a jail, why it's not in the criminal code, etc. Other civil infractions are things like parking tickets.
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Okay. I'm watching Emily in Paris season 5 and a girl from Chicago would know the MITTEN representing Michigan and and also she's holding it backwards??
Woman and man in a bar. Woman is holding up hand to be shaped like Michigan, but she's holding it backwards. The caption is " so Michigan is shaped like a mitt, right?"
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Prisonculture @prisonculture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
You have a better chance of going bankrupt than of becoming a millionaire. Wake up!
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Prisonculture @prisonculture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is a country of delusional people who believe they may one day be rich. The California Wealth Tax has less than 50% support right now. We have to tell the truth about the propagandized voting public. It's incredible.
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Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Time for this classic again.
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Going to start referring to Claude as "clippy" at work
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Everything is making my heart hurt
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Em, midly @lefttheprairie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
$11,000 covers 4 long blocks of alleys on both sides of the street for 5 months, so this is expensive, but not cost prohibitive when you think about how $11,000 is one hour of overtime for 177 cops
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jj skolnik @supremenothing.myatproto.social · 30/09/2026
like i say every time this comes up, the term for what awaits survivors who go through the official system (cops, rape kit at the hospital, the hell of a trial where you as the victim get to be cross examined by yr rapist’s defense) is called “the second rape”
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Look at this amazing photo of my daughter
Gray tabby cat sitting up and yawning but her mouth is so wide open that it looks like she's screaming
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A man replied to this saying in earnest that women need to get organized and fight for our rights and men will follow. We did that. We do that. We mobilized the largest single day protest in global history on every continent and yet I have fewer rights than my mom did at my age.
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Charlotte Lydia Riley @lottelydia.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Having real #MeToo flashbacks today, what with various news stories going around, and thinking a lot about how women were encouraged to rip themselves open and show off our trauma, in all its Technicolor glory, so that men might begin to believe us
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feeb | yuritober!! @magicmooshka.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
it’s come to my attention that my tumblr post has been crossposted to bluesky, so I’m posting it on my account here #AntiAI #GenAI
recently my friend's comics professor told her that it's acceptable to use gen AI for script-writing but not for art, since a machine can't generate meaningful artistic work. meanwhile, my sister's screenwriting professor said that they can use gen AI for concept art and visualization, but that it won't be able to generate a script that's any good. and at my job, it seems like each department says that AI can be useful in every field except the one that they know best.

It's only ever the jobs we're unfamiliar with that we assume can be replaced with automation. The more attuned we are with certain processes, crafts, and occupations, the more we realize that gen AI will never be able to provide a suitable replacement. The case for its existence relies on our ignorance of the work and skill required to do everything we don't.
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m @keptsimple.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I noticed last year that sweetgreen pivoted to MAHA when it started advertising seed oil-free french fries. Going MAHA is what a failing restaurant chain does now to get free advertising.
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Danielle Lasker @larkshead.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
You truly never know what’s going on in someone else’s house
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samuelwa.de @samuelwa.de · 28/09/2026
My “Involved in Human Trafficking“ shirt has a lot of people asking questions that are making me want to stop wearing my shirt rather than reconsider my involvement in human trafficking
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ICE must be destroyed 🏳️‍⚧️🏴 @miawong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Every day I ask myself do men even like women and the answer is just No
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Haymarket Books @haymarketbooks.org · 28/09/2026
In Against Tech Oligarchy, two leading labor organizers chronicle the past decade’s tech worker movement.
bayareacurrent.com
The Book Your Tech Boss Doesn't Want You to Read
In Against Tech Oligarchy, two leading labor organizers chronicle the past decade’s tech worker movement.
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Rupa Jogani @rjogani.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I've had four friends get hit by cars this year. FOUR. Cars and irresponsible drivers are the fucking problem!!!!
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The most useless form of news is “CEO says.” Can this tool actually do what it says or is the company just trying to profit off fear?
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 27/09/2026
Punxsutawney Jill is sticking her head out a little early this cycle.
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Carrie @cooler-by-the-lake.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Went kayaking on the river today and I captured a bucket list Chicago-y sight
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If the AI era has taught us anything, it’s this: it’s fine to judge people based on their aesthetic preferences
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Corbin Smith @corbinsmith.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
incredible
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Astra Taylor @astra.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Forget grandiose talk of curing cancer - this is what AI is actually doing to healthcare. In the words of one cardiologist: “it’s bots fighting bots, agents fighting agents, a horrible dystopic future nobody wants to live in.”
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Man in Business Suit Levitating @dfeldman.org · 25/09/2026
In 1979, the FBI set up a fake company called Abdul Enterprises, supposedly run by Arab sheikhs. An “employee” of the company (who was a fraudster on a plea bargain) invited politicians to “his” yacht to bribe them. They got six US representatives and a senator. The operation was never repeated.
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Mike Boylan-Kolchin @mbkplus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Girl dinner
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Caution! Bus approaching
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Ābrajam Simpson @mattformath.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
In case you need another reason to NEVER USE DOORDA$H
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Brandon @bedubble.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Divvy needs to be integrated into NITA
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Boullionaire
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Star:Line Chicago @starlinechicago.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Update: Rev. Eaddy is remotely attending the CTA board meeting **from the backseat of a car**
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
My cat and foster cat, who until now had a horrible relationship, fell asleep touching butts
Tuxedo cat and grey cat lying on blue armchair, facing away from each other at a 45° angle, but touching butts. Inexplicably there is a moose stuffed animal behind the grey cat.
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Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
If you’re moved by this guy crying boy oh boy are there some other images and videos you should check out
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petty mayonnaise @kalehummus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Do you remember?
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Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Stories like this have, for ages, treated men's desire to harm women as a sort of background noise, a weather we just normalize and accept and try to work around. Feminism is among other things a process of denormalization.
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petfinder names @petfindernames.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
a Petfinder screenshot of a young californian male rabbit named "overnight oats"
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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 20/09/2026
Americans: oh, look, a systemic issue. I will solve it individually
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