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Jess

@froglvr.bsky.social
180 followers 191 following 158 posts

made of 30% recycled plastic | she/her

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Reposted by Jess
Sam 🎉 @anoddgeography.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
gn
epic rap battles of history: Koko the gorilla vs curious George
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
posting in r/leaves: guys what leaf is this it looks so cool lol >AUTOMOD has replied to your post< Hello, dickhead. All leaf related questions go in the megathread that nobody reads. Posts are only for leaf discussion. Your post has been deleted and a SWAT team has been sent to your house
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/09/2026
“Damn, I wish I’d had the foresight to put some money down on rice back in 5000 B.C., because I’d probably be loaded right now.” — Keith Towers
theonion.com
Regretful Man Realizes He Would Be Rich By Now If He Had Invested In Rice 7,000 Years Ago
ST. LOUIS—Kicking himself for missing out on a potentially lucrative financial opportunity, local man Keith Towers reportedly realized this week that he might have become rich if he had invested in ri...
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
How can i justify having a marble run set in my otherwise adult apartment
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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
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Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"One more thing Miss Barlow... you were about 14 in 2001, and you grew up in the UK, so why did they dismiss your school at noon on 9/11, when the attacks would have happened around 2 pm your time? I just don't understand how the school knew the attacks would be happening later"
Columbo (Peter Falk) asking one more question
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
AI asks the question of “what if wikipedia ran on gasoline and was also wrong”
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
guy with one airpod: god the beatles fucking suck
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
type shit I say to the guy next to me in the airport security line
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
went to a hippy festival and there was a girl doing a sage cleanse in the disco tent
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SorryHat @sorryhat.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Happy bi-sexual awareness month to icon of the movement, spinning spirally blue head guy from the x files.
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✨️Angel Facts✨️ @angelic.style · 31/08/2026
the year is 2036. the president is AI generated Abraham Lincoln presented by Amazon-Google-Tinder. summers in the northern US get up to 130F on the regular. Florida is almost entirely underwater. im still jacking off to hand drawn images of Gardevoir feet
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birDIE 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 جانان @birdiebird.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
smoking on that email that finds you well
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Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief @katie.bzky.team · 01/08/2026
[explaining "leave no trace" to an american] Okay so imagine a clean burgerless plate
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emma (toys) @freeuse.toys · 18/08/2026
putting yellow paint around my pussy so my gamer girl gf knows where to go
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draft punk @sainthing.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
daily manifestation i am unkillable
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
made some tofu katsu :3
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dave @gloomfather.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
yeah man "woke 1" sucked ass. I "woke 1" morning from uneasy dreams to find myself transformed into a giant insect
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Wolf :03 ΘΔ @mandateofheaven.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
The Swirly Glasses Scientist Pervert Girl has liked your post: This Arby's Sandwich got me feeling like theyre injecting mysterious chemicals into me. The Swirly Glasses Scientist Pervert Girl has followed you The Swirly Glasses Scientist Pervert Girl has added you to list: Specimens to Study
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victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 11/08/2026
crying laughing bc i know there are people who will see this and get so pissed they throw up
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Dude no i’m sorry I CANNOT sit backwards in the Trojan horse bro it makes me like sooooo queasy
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
how it feels to grab a fly out the air
picture of neo stopping an array of bullets at the end of matrix
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 08/08/2026
"comedy is about timing" no comedy is about saying things like snail elvis: don't pour salt on me now, mama
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
my ketchup and mayo ran out at the same time do I need to kill myself now or something
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Santana Abraxas @slime-golem.biz · 05/08/2026
Dog in operating room keeps licking my exposed brain and the surgeon isnt doing shit
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Vlad ⚓ @vjlonir.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
This how I be in the mirror fo I step out
A comedic photo of daffy duck in a purple suit with yellow gloves, a green bowtie, and a wig of blonde hair in a pose with his hands towards the camera
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
If Biden had thrown Trump in the slammer we wouldn't be here. You can piss and moan all you want but J6 was history books shit and history books shit requires the President to do President shit. And he didn't. And now the guy who saved millions has to eat shit from a penis like Ron Johnson
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Being in public when the edible hits
Screencap from the television show the Simpsons showing 3D CGI animated homer from treehouse of horror
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Sometimes on google maps i’ll fly over the atlantic too zoomed in just to feel what it would’ve been like to be a spanish sailor
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 13/07/2026
Time magazine passive voice about ice shooting someone in the head and killing them
TIME
ICE officers involved in fatal shooting in Maine
now
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bree bird 🇨🇦 @goose.ski · 11/07/2026
the birthrate concern thing is such a crazy tell. anyone who is normal and who is actually concerned about the very real problems a country with an aging population can face talks about those problems in terms of an aging population
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
if a centipede could play piano it’d probably be really good
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Cabel Sasser @cabel.panic.com · 04/07/2026
new metaphor just dropped
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Larry Mitchell @drlarrymitchell.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Every religion has a food rule that sounds like somebody got diarrhea once and made it everyone’s problem.
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brent 🌹🗽 @therealbrent.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
I haven’t seen *any* coverage of this and worry people have just become numb (or are too distracted by the World Cup, Knicks, etc.)
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hammancheez but spooky @hammancheez.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
lol 3 supreme court justices said 'its fine to bring back slavery and remove citizenship from millions' absolute clownshoes ass motherfuckers fueled by fascist oligarch tickets to knicks games
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
guy on a bike called out to me ‘you look so beautiful!’ and i was steeling myself for it to get weird but then he called to a guy on a different bike ‘that’s a great bike man!’ and then ‘smoothie looks fire!’ to a third guy who was drinking one. so i guess i found him. Johnny Compliments
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I'm Dirt Mother Fucker @aynrandy.boontavista.com · 23/06/2026
my body is a machine that transports authentication codes from my screen to my phone and some other supporting auxiliary functions
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
the aphids in my herb garden:
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/06/2026
“Following a thorough review, the EPA has found that napalm, with its ability to burn at temperatures exceeding 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit, is highly effective for both weed management and pest control,” said Administrator Lee Zeldin
theonion.com
EPA Approves Use Of Napalm As Pesticide
WASHINGTON—Saying they saw no reason to limit any potential agricultural use of the flammable combination of gelling agents and gasoline, officials at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency approved...
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ceej @ceej.online · 11/06/2026
it’s fun to look at wemby
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
My bike broke and got stolen in the same hour I think I need to reroll my stats or something
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
babe what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your amazon pasta
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Just bought weed with my apple pay #lovemylife
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Todd Mitchell @toddnotmitchell.com · 07/06/2026
Bluesky is now showing me every single announcement about a dog passing away. Every one. This is unsustainable.
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
£150 harrods melon
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Jess @froglvr.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
I went into a vintage store today that was playing Drake over the speakers and I could immediately tell the prices were gonna be outrageous
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