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GraaaaaveMc🍺

@davemc99.bsky.social
1K followers 412 following 3.3K posts

Autoglass Half Empty, Autoglass Half Full

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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 6h
Bames Nond's having a strontium
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Twonks @twonks.bsky.social · 7h
That's why
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 9h
"the jews and I just." suggests they are targeting the Jews and the OP only. No wonder they're angry!
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Dan Pop-o-matic (Halloween edition) 👻🧛‍♂️😈 @danpopomatic.bsky.social · 12h
Ha! Didn't realise that Underworld scored this (as Freur) and took their new band name from it. Shite British horror for the win again!
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Steve Rose @steverose7.bsky.social · 15h
No tittering at the Dutch potatoes.
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Ian Martin @ianmartin.bsky.social · 14h
As ever, and for the last time in connection with lying shit Jeffrey Archer, we remember Monica Coghlan, whose life he destroyed.
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Jez @uranium8.bsky.social · 13h
This may help take your mind off them.
Tom Leonard's poem "Just ti Let Yi No".  A Glasgow take on William Carlos Williams "This Is Just To Say".
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 12h
"Carol, FFS, can I just take a piss in peace??"
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 13h
Ruh-roh!
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Andrew R @excelpope.net · 13h
As Paddington leads Jeffery Archer into the great beyond, Archer excitedly explains how he's had a brilliant idea for a story about a Peruvian bear with a fondness for orange preserve sandwiches.
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Jennifer C. Martin @notreallyjcm.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Extremely grateful for these two grocery store ladies recreating Prodigy’s Firestarter
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Dan Thomas @itsdanthomas.bsky.social · 23h
In hindsight the moshpit was a mistake.
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Chris Orton @chriso1.bsky.social · 23h
NOT HIM.
Jofra Archer
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Chipockalips Now! @fragboner.bsky.social · 16h



right about now, the funk soul brother






check it out now, the funk soul brother






right about now, the funk soul brother






check it out now, the funk soul brother
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 13h
"Imberb" sounds like a drunk Cornishman offering a drink
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 14h
"Mancunian Candidates" was right there, professional journalist! What the chocolatey fuck is "Manchesterism"?
an article in the Grauniad about the cheating champs of the world, Manchester City, where they seem to ignore a possible use of a common word "Mancunian" and instead go with the utterly baffling "Manchesterism".  People get paid well for this shit.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I've muted the word "Cleese" so if he old fucker carks it, or if someone has a misspelt-but-interesting cheese post, DM me, ta x
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Oh, and can I add this too in all seriousness? For some reason the music on this advert gave me the fucking creeps, I'm sure I wasn't the only one.
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Warrington-Runcorn New Town Development Plan @warringtonruncorn.com · 05/10/2026
Never mind what TV programme or film "scarred" you as a kid. What spoke to you? What book or song grabbed your soul and meant everything?
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Books: Infants - Asterix in Corsica Juniors - The Hobbit Songs: Infants - Silent Night carol Juniors - Unforgettable Fire by U2
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This one still holds up, the remakes never came close to the same terror
static.klipy.com
Saying Hi Creepily To Your Friend
ALT: Saying Hi Creepily To Your Friend
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Mike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
The Doomsday Clock is too grim. We should change it to this.
The Cliffhanger game on Price Is Right. A contestant had her hands on her head in excited stress as she watches the little mountain climber rise up the numbered ramp toward the edge based on how far off she was on a product's price. If there was audio, you'd be hearing yodeling right now.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Went fishing for the first time in over 40 years. Caught nothing but the sunset. Glorious.
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Simon Pegg @simonpegg.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Years ago, I suggested it would be a perfect vehicle for Tarantino.
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Jonny Morris @jonnymorris.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
A poem for you to share in your local Facebook groups. Who remembers going to WH Smith's?
Who remembers going to WH Smith’s?

Who remembers going to WH Smith’s?
Buy a card for grandma wishing Happy Birthday
With a picture of Winston Churchill doing a V sign
On your birthday, she’d give you a gift token
Which you’d spend on Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab
Not like kids today with their smartphones
All the newspapers, the ink smelling fresh
Chegwin: My Booze Hell, read the headline
Not like kids today with their smartphones
You’d go in to buy some Pritt Stick or a hole punch
Or maybe some staples and a ring binder
Not like kids today with their smartphones
You could read all the comics and magazines you wanted for free
Put them back on the shelf when you’re finished
Steal a Creme Egg or a Double Decker, nobody minded
Not like kids today with their smartphones
We didn’t have internet pornography back then
You could just pick up a copy of Loaded or FHM
Look at photos of the Brookside girls in their underwear
A load of advertising pamphlets would fall on the floor
Somebody else would pick them up, I expect 
Not like kids today with their smartphones
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Buckinghamshire Archives @bucksarchives.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
For no better reason than it's Friday, we're going to review wrestlers on how useful they'd be working in the archive. First up: Triple H. He'd probably be great to have in the office, but that water spit thing is just going to raise our humidity levels so it's a no from us.
Triple H doing the water spit thing.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
"Maybe the real Exorcist II: The Heretic was the friends we made on the way"
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Yeah, but you get to read it in his voice and it makes it better "Wawlnaaahts"
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 02/10/2026
Still the absolute funniest "trailer remix" ever made -- as well as one of the very first of its kind, debuting in 2005 Every shot is perfectly chosen God I could watch this all day
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
🎵Congratulations, Ejaculations...🎵
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Watching telly outside, took my earbuds out while I went to the loo, guess what I just tried to put in my right ear in the dark when I came back! 😱🐌
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Whenever someone asked "do you need help?" my urge was to say "psychologically, yes, but I'm ok (doing this particular thing)". I eventually stopped holding back and get a kick from seeing their confused/amused/worried faces
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
We did it, everyone! We found a way to make Evri deliveries even shitter!!!
static.klipy.com
Wedding Crashers Champagne Fun
ALT: Wedding Crashers Champagne Fun
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"Two lethal injections..."
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Happy Spooky Season
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Maybe she was referring to the use of "come"?
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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's the start of the 2026 Hallowmeme Countdown. 🎃
The "Back In My Day" Simpsons meme that usually shows Grampa regaling Springfield's younger residents, (who are all sat at his feet in a semi-circle), with tales of how things used to be. Grampa is now Captain McCallister, the kids are still the kids, but the daytime and rolling green hills have been replaced with a beach under starry skies. The wording at the top reads "JOHN CARPENTER'S THE FOG". I was going to replace the drink in the captain's hand with a pocket watch, but couldn't be arsed, so feel free to imagine it for yourselves.
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Santiago Jones @santiagojones.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Harry H Corbett opening the door to Oddbod(s) in Carry on Screaming. They are labelled “October 1st” he is labelled “me”
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Excellent work, well done!
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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Free orange jumpsuit with every visit!!
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Phwoar!!
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a woman pushing a shopping cart into a grocery store. In the baby seat of the shopping cart is an unusual orange creature with a trunk and antennae. The security guard standing in the doorway says, “ma’am, you can’t bring that in here.” Panel 2: the woman turns around and gestures at the creature. She says, “come on… he’s not hurting anyone.” Panel 3: the security guard points matter-of-factly at a sign on the wall behind him. The sign reads in bold red letters, “NO SHNOOBS. NO EXCEPTIONS.” It features a picture of an identical orange creature, the humble shnoob.
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👻BOOryan BlessDeAd🎃 @bryb.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Huge cunt, "Danny" "Tommo" drying in court, as drawn by Elizabeth Cook. He's saying the tweet underneath.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Completely unrelated to the football this is such a comedy moment
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Sachin Nakrani @sachinnakrani.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Man City fans going through hell of a lot right now.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You go for a pint with Pertwee and you wake up in a bar in Marseille watching him arm wrestle sailors.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You go for a pint with Andy Burnham and he ends up wanging on about the 1980's Everton team or how New Fast Automatic Daffodils should have been massive. You go for a pint with Ed Davey and you end up stealing a gold statue from a temple then being chased by dart-blowing Hovitos tribe. No contest
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Oonagh @okeating.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You can tell when an area has been gentrified, because the stolen cars stop doing doughnuts and start doing a trio of deconstructed artisanal mini desserts.
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GraaaaaveMc🍺 @davemc99.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Too right, if you want dainty then drink coffee in tiny cups with a little finger sticking out. None of that Downton Abbey bullshit with tea.
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