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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard)

@capricioustube.bsky.social
258 followers 188 following 2.4K posts

Erin, she/her, Yellow on AO3

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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 17h
Grandma's back, her new boyfriend is a maniac, he thinks that I killed his birds is an all time opener to a second verse
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Men can be evil or my coworkers can be incompetent but I need them to happen on different weeks. Thanks in advance
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
there should be like a barometer for Certain Discourse in the culture and when it fills up I should get a day off for free no questions asked
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Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
liberty biberty was humanely put down after mauling his handler
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gertritude @gertritude.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. Go outside. (This is where all the interesting ideas are.)

GIANT SUN: What if you wrote your own DND inspired romantasy novel?

ME, EXITING CARTOON HOUSE: Hot dog!
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
this works best if you read the caption in elizabeth holmes's voice
the liberty biberty puppet looking at nathan fielder saying, "why would i liberty biberty you?"
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tweet from phil (@PhilJamesson):

Officer: do you know why I pulled you over
Me: no sir
My Parrot: hell yea I love driving 86 mph without a seatbelt! my name is phil jamesson
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Clue Heywood @clueheywood.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
me and my friends would've killed Liberty Biberty with hammers I can tell you that much
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Ranged Touch @rangedtouch.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
ME BEFORE LORD OF THE YEAR: where the hell is my arkenstone! ME AFTER LORD OF THE YEAR: well yes obviously John 10:16 is about faeries. Oh my god hold on my arkenstone is missing again
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Faine Greenwood @faineg.com · 28/09/2026
for reference:
On March 25th, 2021, Twitter user @nialltg[1] posted, "dog shelters: don’t buy puppies, consider adoption instead. also dog shelters: this is pissfingers. she’s 19 years old and can’t live in a home with children, books or electricity. pissfingers is nervous around hair and needs 400 acres of land and an orchard of extinct fruits." The tweet gained over 2,600 retweets and 23,000 likes in over one year (shown below).
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Lady Emily ☄️ @ladyemily.nebula.tv · 28/09/2026
I’m gonna suck em off A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My cats let me brush their teeth and even run over to get the tasty toothpaste but on the other hand one is suicidal and the other likes to wake me up by licking my entire face so who can say if they're good or bad or not
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cmrn knzlmn @ckunzelman.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
If you are a graduate student in the humanities (construed as broadly as possible), what is the MOST EXCITING book published in the last five years to you? Please repost if you’re not a graduate student!
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
so called free thinkers when mommy takes the warm soft sheets out of the dryer
orange cat asleep under a navy blue pillowcase
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
When you hear a combo purr/heavy breathing in your ear and you know you're going to get your face licked
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brad @bradiscranky.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
errybody post nyc skies now
Purty pink skyMore purty pink skyYet more purty pink sky
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
new idea "one email a day" you should only be able to send or read one email a day
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I absolutely adore c dramas. The unrealistic martial arts. The slow mo when something vaguely romantic happens. The freeze frame on the end of the episode
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raisin bird @bryanthomasdaly.bsky.social · 12/06/2024
younger trader joes cashier: have you tried these scallion pancakes yet me: (with the terrified sternness of a third grader with one line in the play) It’s Giving Dinner
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Jay Edidin @edidin.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
One of my favorite cases of someone being Wrong on the Internet was a very earnest, very confused vegan who was telling people how cruel honey is; and it eventually turned out they thought honey was made by putting bees in a centrifuge and spinning them around until they threw up.
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worm restraint @ctsmike.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Chase
4:12 PM
Time's running out, Michael: Get a rat...
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
padding the word count of my novel by adding "So anyways," to the front of every paragraph. obviously you can't really do that with the first paragraph of the book, but in all other cases it's fair game. if you can drop in the occasional "So basically what the whole deal is, is that," even better
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Chris Ingraham @cingraham.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Incredible Facebook slop ad I just got
Horse pin with an illustration of a horse and the following text:
"Give a man a horse he'll eat in a day, teach a man to horse. and make him drinks water."
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Someday I'm going to bite a slow walking tourist and I will go to prison
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
(guy doing well) I wish I could call out for despair
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Bugs, Yaoist @bugsmaytrix.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
it's trans rights or we all go to hell
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
@Very__Regular

george lucas, 1975 (in tunisia, severely dehydrated, over budget) sure, yeah. put the little blue guy in the background. is alec still in his trailer

guy who gets mad for money on youtube, 2024: and now disney made Deebo Threebo green. that's how little respect they have for you
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 15/10/2025
WHEN THERE’S TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Oh wow. Yes, very clever! Waterfall treasure! No one’s ever done that before. Lazy jackass WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you
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Gil Hova @gil.hova.net · 17/09/2026
Any opportunity to re-post "When the Glove"
Web cartoon of the cartoonist waking up at 5 am, still half-asleep, saying "Just had such a good idea, gotta write it down", and is writing it on a piece of paper.

THE NEXT MORNING

The paper says "When the glove"

The cartoonist stares at the paper.
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Marielle Hellraiser 💀 @mags.colvett.online · 18/09/2026
“I ASKED FOR EXPERIENCES AND I GOT THEM” is going to be psychically load-bearing for the rest of my life I fear
peter 2d
I ASKED FOR EXPERIENCES AND I GOT THEM!!!! LIFE IS NEITHER INDIFFERENT NOR CARING!!!! SHE IS ONLY MOTION!!!! BROTHER GET IN THE BOAT!!!!! OR SINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Rosemary Mosco @rosemarymosco.com · 18/09/2026
Humaning.
A four-panel comic. In panel 1, a Northern Cardinal and American Goldfinch perch above a busy crowd in a city, looking down. The cardinal says "It's a nice day to go humaning." The goldfinch says "Just look at them. Majestic." In panel 2, a close-up of the two birds. The cardinal says "Nobody tells you that you'll reach a certain age and suddenly get into humaning. I hit 3 years old, and then bam."The birds are looking out over the crowd scene. In panel 3, the cardinal says "Their calls sound funny to us, but each one has a unique meaning." Below, people are saying various things: "I'm tired." "Where's my phone?" "I'd murder a burrito." In panel 4, the birds look down excitedly at a man walking by. The cardinal says "Wait, is that a guy who got dressed in the dark and put his shirt on inside out and backwards?" And the goldfinch exclaims, "Holy... that's a lifer!"
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luckydicekirby @luckydicekirby.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
i will not be getting a switch 2 so i'm going to need as many dispatches as possible on whatever crazy yaoi is happening in the new fire emblem thank you
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
(petting my cat in my lap) wow Colby this guy in our show is epic. Did you know he's epic? Yeah, you're a good boy, you knew he was epic
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world’s spookiest weed puller @reflektion.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
utopians: i'm sorry guys i know no one is going to want to hear this but i just got resuscitated after being dead for 5 minutes and it turns out hazbin hotel is true

d94hxc: why do people treat near death visions and hallucinations as anything other than identical to dreaming?

i know some people take even dreams seriously, but it concerns me when i think about how people believe near-death or short-death experiences are somehow different or more true??

utopians: honestly an incredibly disrespectful and tasteless comment to make on my post about my very real experience of dying and going to hazbin hotel
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Someone should donate a switch 2 to the cause of me playing fire emblem
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
(watching a c drama) oh my god. The female lead is epic
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
the vvitch is a horror story about what new england was like before dunkin
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Todd in the Shadows @shadowtodd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"I am not complicit" I'm gonna say this all day
Ed Sheeran I am not complicit shirt
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Patrick Wyman @patrickwyman.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
TFW your entire country's path into the future gets fucking bodied by a 10-year-old named Riley Grunch
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michael lutz @ztul.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
gimme the sweet corn to feed my soul i wanna butter up that golden roll and munch away - advertisement for corn i imagined
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Anna Hughes 🍁 @annaghughes.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
trying to make new friends as an adult
Amy Adams in Arrival holding the white board that says HUMAN while she's trying to communicate with aliens
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
It's fucked up that karma isn't real
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
That motherfucker really just didn't like or respect me huh
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mrs. daniil dankovsky (beard) @capricioustube.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Briefly experienced a deep longing for companionship but I'm normal now
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CLAYFACE: CELEBRITY DIRT #3 out now @judedoyle.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
People of All Genders Empowered to Maintain Delusion That They Have A Chance With Gillian Anderson
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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My social security number
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Ian Rennie @theangelremiel.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Nathan Fielder and Elizabeth Holmes doing the "we're just normal men" meme
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