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Meretricious Metrician

@bwphades.bsky.social
248 followers 631 following 1.9K posts

look man sometimes you join in Nov. ‘24 because, even though you quit twitter months earlier, you’re a slow adopter of new tech but a critical mass of people you know are at the new place now, not because you’re getting paid by blue maga or whatever

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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 2h
or is it to build a fire? whatever the point is you’re good
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 2h
I read this when I couldn’t sleep and no other books were available and tbh don’t worry about it it’s just wet call of the wild for 14 year olds
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 21h
to be fair I would have done this too but as a bit like "but that's the ancients for you, there are certainly no relevant life lessons to be learned from those guys"
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HATE Mulgrew @josie.zone · 11/10/2026
The Monolith and the Apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey
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Revenge of the Man-Thing’s Menagerie of Marvelous Monsters @adventurin2fear.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
He already had his face used by someone else, he’s not about to do that all over again.
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
saw this font not five minutes ago advertising a food truck
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Did she say she was kidding? Dev Lemons's workplace micro-romance video is a big hit this week at InfoWars HQ. Watch InfoWars HQ now: bit.ly/4AUe43X
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
I’m sure Marcy Kaptur is not personally reading responses to fundraising texts but I for sure expressed my hope that every other dem in the country wins except for her
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Blaise Boo-lysse Bernard Collins @wittywebhandle.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Starting tomorrow everything is going to be OKAY!

They JUST announced it

Behind the text is an old school photoshop style picture of Britney Spears, Unicorns, and a Beach Setting.
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Rine Vieth @rinewithoutacat.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Not to take away from celebrating Carson, but she's a "former professor" here in large part because the university shut down her department and cancelled its classes. What pride does the institution claim now—years later—when austerity is forcing other scholars out? What does that 'pride' do?
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Lumpia Nyong'o @creolebabybritt.blacksky.app · 09/10/2026
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m@thew @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
driving a cybertruck is like ordering fajitas at an applebees it cant possibly be good u just want me to look at you
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Talia "ATTACK DOGS is out now!" Bhatt ⚢ @taliabhatt.itch.io · 08/10/2026
The future as imagined by men lacking the vital spark, who see no value in others' lives, who cannot envision the internalities of anyone unlike them, and who truly believe that everyone wants life to be an endless parade of flattery and yes-men just as they do.
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Chris Geidner @chrisgeidner.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
You’re fucking right you did.
Photo of Annie Andrews. 

Text:


Christopher, I messed up.
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Scott 𐚁 🦇 Cave 🦇 @hellabarnes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
a photo of an unclothed wolf and a dachshund in a pink dress
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haunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
let's make this age of bronze our best ever
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
#beckbook shipping notification in my email this morning, apologies to Adrian Tchaikovsky but I will have to pause your back catalogue to learn about the enchanting wizard of rhythm
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Jennifer C. Martin @notreallyjcm.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Extremely grateful for these two grocery store ladies recreating Prodigy’s Firestarter
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Fully Automated @fullyautomatedluxury.com · 03/10/2026
final panel shows nancy looking behind the bushes but the text from r crumbs "lookit that stupid ass-hole!" meme panel placed atop it so that nancy is looking in disgust at sluggo saying 
"I loathe ever person i see on the street! Lookit that stupid ass-hole!"
with text saying "normal guy" pointing at sluggo.
the whistling from the original panel has been removed and the whistling from the r crumb panel has been placed there instead.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 03/10/2026
I worry in the next few years we're all going to have to have some patient, complicated conversations with older or less media-engaged relatives who see the le epic trump takedown posts but do not stuff like this about who Gavin Newsom Really Is
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
truly a Michael Jackson Bad Weird Al Worse shelf space opportunity
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Chef Kennedy🐸🏳️‍🌈 @kennedy.northsky.social · 03/10/2026
Journalist: *breaks a story for the very first time* Dork: "hmm I fact checked this and didnt find much"
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
we’re getting to the werner herzog saturation point where it’s like … my guy wouldn’t say that, you just want someone to read your post in a german accent
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I think the main problem is they’re forgetting to beam these important cultural touchstones directly into my mp3 collection. Have they learned nothing from U2
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
this is the one thing that makes him relatable
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I don’t hear about it until the album drops at the public library
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
those are all solid genres
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
All Dogs Go to Heaven
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I’ve been wondering this myself; K.R. is a tail-end boomer; his cohort was very much “just show up with your résumé” which seems extremely offputting to ME. I imagine I wouldn’t have even registered that an applicant had a beverage or not before all this kerfuffle
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
this is a good reminder that you can always use the drafts feature instead of just posting whatever
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
when is this hitting imax theaters
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🐺Cold🪦Sam🪾 @pdfmerchant.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
look if the taxes went to nothing, sure, but don't these taxes go to schools and roads? considering the number of potholes right NOW on my public-transportless, 45-minute-each-way daily commute to my education job, I think I'd prefer to pay more taxes than break an axle
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
remember how we were saying Newsom sucked?
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Russell Irving @rginteger.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I'm not much of a Pokémon person, but my son is & trying to buy him cards at retail prices has been nigh on impossible the last couple of years, and I refuse to pay scalpers for anything. So it warms the cockles of my heart to see so many of them having a full meltdown about the recent set. Enjoy!!
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
are you in the mood for snake?
A drawing of a woman holding a telephone to her ear. A snake is coming out of the phone, and the woman is saying "I live for snake."

Big text at the top says "ARE YOU IN THE  MOOD FOR SNAKE?"

Text underneath says "CALL 1-888-SNAKE TODAY, THE ONLY PHONE NUMBER THAT WILL SEND REAL, LIVE SNAKES THROUGH YOUR PHONELINE TODAY.

 SNAKES ARE STANDING BY TO TAKE YOUR CALLS.
EXPERIENCE SNAKE - 1-888-SNAKE"
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
obligated by the narrative to like this post
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Micah @rincewind.run · 19/09/2026
anyway congratulations to Calvin’s Dad on diesel prices
Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin’s dad hopes gas goes up to eight bucks a gallon
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Lev Mirov @thelionmachine.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
How did so many of you sleep on The Gardener's Hand trilogy by Felicia Davin??? Every time I try to describe it I end up trying to compare it to The Locked Tomb but high fantasy and with a telepathic magical system. Even though it was first. The first book is free!! www.feliciadavin.com/thornfruit/
feliciadavin.com
Thornfruit (The Gardener's Hand, Book 1)
Nightvine (Book 2) | Shadebloom (Book 3) Sign up for my announcements list and get a link to download a free ebook of Thornfruit. The world-building is excellent, the prose is gorgeous, and the cha...
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I did today see a man head fully in his lap looking at his phone while driving a giant pickup truck which was already incredibly smashed up in front and I feel like a lesson was learned and immediately forgotten
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Micah @rincewind.run · 18/09/2026
"what if the democrats become labour on trans rights" is the nightmare scenario for trans people in the united states and avoiding that is why I think we need to continue pushing back on dems who waver as hard as possible
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ElieNYC @elienyc.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
STOP LISTENING TO THE DEMOCRATIC CONSULTANT CLASS
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Nicolas Hénin @nicolashenin.net · 17/09/2026
Nice campaign by the Norwegian Consumer Council about the declining lifespan of products. Enjoy!
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Julia Serano @juliaserano.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
...I conclude the essay with this message for trans-exclusionary Dem candidates: you made a decision that no one of significance would care if you abandoned trans ppl. but many cis ppl care about trans ppl. & even if you win in November, we'll remember your decision. it will hurt you in the long run
screenshot from linked-to essay that reads:
I will end this essay by officially declaring that I won’t be voting for either Talarico or Turek this election. Because I live in California. But if I did live in Texas or Iowa, I’m not sure how I’d vote just yet. There is still almost two months to go. Maybe one or both of them reverses course on trans issues? Or maybe they double down on their anti-trans talking points? This is why I will not stop speaking out about this issue, because there is still time to influence their campaigns.
But I will say this: If you are a Democrat who flirts with or outright promotes anti-trans positions, it makes me want nothing to do with you. If you are ever in a Democratic primary that I can vote in, I will almost certainly vote for one of your opponents over you. And there is no chance in hell that I will donate money or campaign for you. And I will likely frequently mention (whenever the subject comes up) that you sold out transgender people.
If or when I ever do this, it’s not because I’m petty (or irrational, selfish, overly sensitive, cult-like, etc.). It’s because I know that you don’t have my best interests at heart. And why would I, as an informed voter, support someone who has very clearly communicated that you don’t give a shit about me?
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Cheryl Lynn Eaton @cheryllynneaton.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Look, I'll be the one to say it. I hope that any black employees are allowed to work remotely or that place is going to be bereft of us. Which is a reality that DC also had to deal with and adjust accordingly.
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Jessika 🏳️‍⚧⛓️🤖 @jesikalashnikov.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Illusion of free choice meme with Joel Robinson and Ryland Grace
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
man I don't want to hear anything else ever again about JKR unless she decides to give away her money and go live up a pole in the desert somewhere, but that list of disclaimers that's going around is pretty funny
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Meretricious Metrician @bwphades.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
maybe Rasputina? cellos just so nice
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
www.welcometohellworld.com/i-do-not-bel...
Just once in my life I would like to see a Democrat being interviewed by right wing media like Fox News or right wing media like every single other outlet treat their questions with the contempt they deserve. I know it's not going to fix everything or maybe even anything but how much coverage and how much groundswell of excitement from the base do you think it would inspire if when asked about "boys in girls sports" or some other stupid fucking culture war distraction one of them finally said "What the fuck are you talking about man? You sound like a dumb asshole right now."

What's the worst that's going to happen the New York Times is gonna work overtime to make sure you don't get elected? They were already doing that buddy.

You simply say "Are you stupid? Do you think I am stupid? And do you think all of the people watching at home are stupid? Everyone sees through what you are doing. Using one group as a scapegoat for the very real problems everyone has – all caused by Republicans by the way – unlike this fake one you have made up. Dumb asshole."

Just go on the attack for once instead of sitting there trying to please your enemy who is in the process of trying to humiliate you.

And if you want to say something else true that almost no Democrat ever says for some reason you can top it off with a “Every single Republican in our lifetime has sought to make our lives worse in every way possible. I’d like to try to stop that.”
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