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A Random Brandon

@brandomonium.bsky.social
4.1K followers 744 following 1.1K posts

That one dude that says things and stuff My shtuff bsky.app/profile/did:plc:f3isqq37mb…

PostsRepliesMedia
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Letting my employer know that I'm just a baby and this is child labor
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Companies don’t do huge giveaway sweepstakes anymore. McDonald’s used to be your friend. Sprite used to love you.
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
*opens a bill* This is why that hot italian boy killed that guy
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Scissors @scissors.myatproto.social · 14/08/2026
woke up mad at this cereal
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 09/08/2026
Oh to be able to click "leave conversation" in real life
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11/08/2026
They should make a surprise after 40 that's good
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Imagine having diarrhea and kidney stones at the same time where you got solids coming out your liquids hole and liquids coming out your solids hole. What an upside down world that would be
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Blaming your crime on ai is the new "we're all trying to find the guy who did this"
Shot from I think you should leave. Tim Robinson wearing hot dog suit after committing obvious hot dog guy offense saying "we're all trying to find the guy who did this"
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
I like my Greek tales told with WHITE people and my bible stories taught by VEGETABLES
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
You just know the inventor of the jPEG was a freak.. prob named the PPt too fuckin' perv
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Naming my child "anything" so when I tell them they can be anything when they grow up, I don't have to lie
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
It’s “stakeholders”? Damn this whole time I’ve been striving to deliver value for snakeholders
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
I made this for my friend who is having a routine colonoscopy tomorrow
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Buying my overweight son Braxtley a $180 Needoh on eBay so he’ll shut the fuck up
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
It’s illegal to name your baby Santa Claus, Adolph hitler , Jesus christ or C-3P0 but Malibu Barbie is fine
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saja 🥀🖤 @saja.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
my goal is to always try to post something people are afraid to like
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saja 🥀🖤 @saja.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
In my day there was only 2 kinds of weed, gasoline lawnmower and carpet fibers from the Playboy mansion, and it all worked on an elaborate lottery system
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
My tiny shred of sunshine today comes from the company I use for composting at my business, who signs off on all their emails with the salutation 'Worm wishes'
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad
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al-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 27/01/2026
and tiny greg, who WAS fired
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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
Ranking every condiment by degrees of sensuality
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
when will the political unrest settle down so I can go back to talking about myself???
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Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 26/01/2026
BILL KRISTOL: Dems should immediately go on the offensive. CHUCK SCHUMER: *loud farting noises*
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
I walked two miles uphill in the icy sludge this morning just so I can honestly torture my children later
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
I’m getting a lot of fundraising texts from Dems, and I WONT GIVE YOU MONEY SO YOU CAN STILL DO NOTHING BUT WITH MORE MONEY
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hammancheez but spooky @hammancheez.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
After i send a problematic DM
Large black bear with emoji hands 👉👈
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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
DAD (pounding on the bathroom door): You better not be doing meteorology in there!
Weather map captioned "Tracking the Polar Vortex" which just so happens to look like some big naturals, if you know what I mean. It even has low pressure icons for nipples!
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Thinking about posting hog just to feel something
Guy on a ledge
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Enough!!!!!🦋 @ofthebs.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
This ghoul gotta go.
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acab rangoon @mid-skeets.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
me after one sip of macdonalds sprite
kid with aggressive look on his face sweating and eyes going solid white
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
Eat a pound of asparagus before bed to give yourself a fun surprise when you get up to pee in the middle of the night
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
I have decided to part ways with my band that does death metal covers of Anne Murray songs. I wish Shadows in the Moonlight all the best in their future endeavors
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 17/12/2025
i'm great at distracting people from obsessing about their problems by giving them new obscure things to worry about instead, and if you don't like that idea I also offer doing exactly that but 10x faster
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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
But remember that the magical truth about Christmas gift shopping is
Anyone can shoplift is written in front of a picture of people walking around in a mall
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
I’m tired AGAIN? I was just tired every day before this
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
No it starts with COM. Open the schools!
Ad that says Community starts with immunity
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Clicking to find out which one got a gun
Headline. The preacher saw a monkey. Then he grabbed a rifle
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I’m spending November holding back the forces of Christmas with the Holy Talisman
A priest holding a turkey up like a crucifix to Santa and a reindeer
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A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
you got any games on your phone
Close up of a Himalayan cat
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erika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 24/10/2025
sometimes you gotta say unhinged shit and move on
crazy red head portlandia meme (ft crazy eyes)
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NurseBrianRN @nursebrianrn.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
gave myself a little treat this morning
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
The opposite of cellar door is creamy coleslaw
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
The president of america isn’t “dumb” he just doesn’t say words right or understand any of them
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gg @ggallin.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Your Doordash driver (Tim) is on his way with your pizza and one of those big skeletons from Home Depot
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