Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Letting my employer know that I'm just a baby and this is child labor 0257
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Companies don’t do huge giveaway sweepstakes anymore. McDonald’s used to be your friend. Sprite used to love you. 65718
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 20/08/2026*opens a bill* This is why that hot italian boy killed that guy 04611
Reposted by A Random BrandonScissors @scissors.myatproto.social · 14/08/2026woke up mad at this cereal 3211
Reposted by A Random Brandonandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 09/08/2026Oh to be able to click "leave conversation" in real life 12432103
Reposted by A Random Brandonandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11/08/2026They should make a surprise after 40 that's good 36763151
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Imagine having diarrhea and kidney stones at the same time where you got solids coming out your liquids hole and liquids coming out your solids hole. What an upside down world that would be 811628
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 23/07/2026Blaming your crime on ai is the new "we're all trying to find the guy who did this" 0287
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 18/07/2026I like my Greek tales told with WHITE people and my bible stories taught by VEGETABLES 832478
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 13/07/2026You just know the inventor of the jPEG was a freak.. prob named the PPt too fuckin' perv 02911
Reposted by A Random BrandonJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Naming my child "anything" so when I tell them they can be anything when they grow up, I don't have to lie 14716
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 06/07/2026It’s “stakeholders”? Damn this whole time I’ve been striving to deliver value for snakeholders 020
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 21/04/2026I made this for my friend who is having a routine colonoscopy tomorrow 76412
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 21/03/2026Buying my overweight son Braxtley a $180 Needoh on eBay so he’ll shut the fuck up 192
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 18/03/2026It’s illegal to name your baby Santa Claus, Adolph hitler , Jesus christ or C-3P0 but Malibu Barbie is fine 2123
Reposted by A Random Brandonsaja 🥀🖤 @saja.bsky.social · 21/02/2026my goal is to always try to post something people are afraid to like 24417
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 07/02/2026In my day there was only 2 kinds of weed, gasoline lawnmower and carpet fibers from the Playboy mansion, and it all worked on an elaborate lottery system 1309
Reposted by A Random Brandonmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 02/02/2026My tiny shred of sunshine today comes from the company I use for composting at my business, who signs off on all their emails with the salutation 'Worm wishes' 450283
Reposted by A Random Brandonmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 03/02/2026I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad 314426
Reposted by A Random Brandonal-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 27/01/2026and tiny greg, who WAS fired 39820
Reposted by A Random Brandon🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 28/01/2026Ranking every condiment by degrees of sensuality 6024461
Reposted by A Random BrandonOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 27/01/2026when will the political unrest settle down so I can go back to talking about myself??? 1027846
Reposted by A Random Brandon Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 26/01/2026BILL KRISTOL: Dems should immediately go on the offensive. CHUCK SCHUMER: *loud farting noises* 820728
Reposted by A Random Brandonmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 26/01/2026I walked two miles uphill in the icy sludge this morning just so I can honestly torture my children later 29119
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 26/01/2026I’m getting a lot of fundraising texts from Dems, and I WONT GIVE YOU MONEY SO YOU CAN STILL DO NOTHING BUT WITH MORE MONEY 020
Reposted by A Random Brandonhammancheez but spooky @hammancheez.bsky.social · 23/01/2026After i send a problematic DM 318222
Reposted by A Random BrandonDave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 23/01/2026DAD (pounding on the bathroom door): You better not be doing meteorology in there! 1121139
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 20/01/2026Thinking about posting hog just to feel something 040
Reposted by A Random Brandonacab rangoon @mid-skeets.bsky.social · 28/12/2025me after one sip of macdonalds sprite 0405
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 21/12/2025Eat a pound of asparagus before bed to give yourself a fun surprise when you get up to pee in the middle of the night 000
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 17/12/2025I have decided to part ways with my band that does death metal covers of Anne Murray songs. I wish Shadows in the Moonlight all the best in their future endeavors 000
Reposted by A Random BrandonEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 17/12/2025i'm great at distracting people from obsessing about their problems by giving them new obscure things to worry about instead, and if you don't like that idea I also offer doing exactly that but 10x faster 4301101
Reposted by A Random Brandon🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 02/12/2025But remember that the magical truth about Christmas gift shopping is 261155332
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 25/11/2025I’m tired AGAIN? I was just tired every day before this 17729
Reposted by A Random BrandonOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 10/11/2025today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win. 3668666
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 09/11/2025Being an adult rules you can do whatever you want. I like to sit down on my chair and complain nonstop about literally every single thing in the god damn world 113424
A Random Brandon @brandomonium.bsky.social · 02/11/2025I’m spending November holding back the forces of Christmas with the Holy Talisman 010
Reposted by A Random Brandonerika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 24/10/2025sometimes you gotta say unhinged shit and move on 0233
Reposted by A Random BrandonNurseBrianRN @nursebrianrn.bsky.social · 12/10/2025gave myself a little treat this morning 1435
Reposted by A Random BrandonEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 06/10/2025it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life 11652164
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 26/09/2025The opposite of cellar door is creamy coleslaw 2217
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 23/09/2025The president of america isn’t “dumb” he just doesn’t say words right or understand any of them 1456
Reposted by A Random Brandongg @ggallin.bsky.social · 19/09/2025Your Doordash driver (Tim) is on his way with your pizza and one of those big skeletons from Home Depot 1142