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biscuit

@biscuit-tornado.space
1.3K followers 268 following 2.8K posts

nb (he/him). old enough to remember when people smoked in malls. I also remember malls. secrets of the ages: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6dejzgshz4…

PostsRepliesMedia
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Anthony Cougar Miccio @anthonymiccio.bsky.social · 19h
Well this might be the most depressing mind-blower of my life
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 20h
Bluesky broke bluesky trying to fix bluesky and then fixed the fix and now they're monitoring whether that fix fixed bluesky or what
A screenshot of the bluesky status page showing the timeline of today's outages and fixes and fixing the fix that broke the website in a different way

Partial system outage

Site Slowness/Loading Failure
Monitoring. Partial outage
Started about 2 hours ago

Monitoring - September 29, 2026 at 1:27 PM

The fix has been applied and we are monitoring the result

Identified - September 29, 2026 at 1:12 PM

We made a change that caused the site to go down again. We are undoing that change and monitoring.

Monitoring - September 29, 2026 at 1:00 PM

A fix has been implemented and we are monitoring the results

Identified - September 29, 2026 at 12:09 PM

We are experiencing slowness and occasional loading failures with the site. We have identified the root cause and are working to rectify it.
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 17h
I could rake in the dough from evangelicals, if I completely forfeited all morals and ethics I left christianity so that I wouldn't be asked to do those things, though, so crisis averted
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 28/09/2026
Reacher. You have the eyesight of twenty fainting goats. I wonder, what will you do with it?
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 28/09/2026
hold on; I have to say something devastatingly weird and embarrassing real quick
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 28/09/2026
if you ask me "can you show me how to do that again?" and it is literally the tenth time, I will need to leave the room for a moment to scream
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Your fave's fave @actually.roiskinda.cool · 28/09/2026
And they are even more upset because Blacksky has mostly figured out how to stop it and they know they are on a clock.
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dame @dame.is · 28/09/2026
if you have 100,000 followers on bluesky, you need to understand that quote dunking a small account that didn’t do anything to you (especially when it’s a trans person) is effectively like controlling the eye of sauron and causing your horde of minions to chase after whatever you point it at
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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
My ex: What’s that you’re wearing? Me: Mood Rings My ex: They kind of look like brass knuckles Me: Don’t they though?
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 27/09/2026
what doesn't kill me at leaves an interesting scar pattern
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­­ ­ ­ the­ ­­ ­ ­ postes @rem.bsjky.team · 27/09/2026
i think about this all the time
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 27/09/2026
my favorite part of the breakfast club was when Andrew McCarthy and Jon Cryer played lacrosse with Eric Stoltz after the credits
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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
No, but seriously,
Gabe from The Office getting really upset and saying "Shut up about the Skywalkers. Shut up about the Skywalkers!"
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 27/09/2026
Reacher. You have the intestinal fortitude of someone who opens a completed home colon screening kit. I wonder, what will you do with it
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 27/09/2026
the secret to getting Democrats to do things is to find a viable alternative to them. unfortunately, the things they do are incredibly unhelpful if not outright counterproductive, and that alternative just looks better and better
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 27/09/2026
Reacher. You have the strength of a hundred yodeling field mice. I wonder, what will you do with it
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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman.
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Spencer Ackerman @attackerman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Ha ha that’s gross and should make everyone uncomfortable, anyway, Rahm presided over a Chicago police black site, lied about what it was and then I sued the Chicago police for its records that proved it:
theguardian.com
Homan Square revealed: how Chicago police 'disappeared' 7,000 people
Exclusive: Lawsuit exposes scale of detention at off-the-books interrogation warehouse while attorneys describe find-your-client chase ‘from a Bond movie’
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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Self checkout is basically an argument with a robot over a sack of potatoes that summons an employee to mediate
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Kara @kgz3.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
But they were all of them deceived, Charlie Brown.
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Charles Johnson @charles.littlegreenfootballs.com · 26/09/2026
It’s grotesque and infuriating.
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Rodney Anonymous @rodneyanonymous.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Punk Rock Flea Market
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
there are only three narratives in fiction: 1) the hero's journey 2) a stranger comes to town 3) a greedy developer is going to tear down our beloved community center...UNLESS we put on the greatest breakdance show this town's ever seen
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Jeffrey Rowland @wigu.org · 22/09/2026
I'm basically a soothsayer. Comic from 2007 which was NOT 9 years ago turns out
Weedmaster P: Americans can't build a car that stays together or a shoe that costs less than ten thousand dollars but boy howdy we sure can build one hell of an internet huh Jeffrey: Yeah. Jeffrey: America invented the internet because they were afraid Russia would drop bombs on us from outer space. [[A bomb falls]] Weedmaster P: Maybe some hype shit will get made because of the global war on terrors Jeffrey: A vast computer network that believes in "evil", costs a billion dollars an hour and says the same 5 phrases over and over. {{Underneath}} Instead of showing you pictures of cats Internet 5.0 will question your patriotism
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Jeffrey Rowland @wigu.org · 26/09/2026
I wish there was some kinda special shampoo to get rid of google gemini like there is for public lice because that's what it feels like at this point
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
You can tell, with all of the explicit ethnic cleansing making everything worse and more expensive, the GOP's next target is just to go all out on gender wars. Everyone on X or Rumble is complaining about nagging women 24/7, with brief respites for holocaust denial. Full 4chan incel GOP incoming.
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dissected @trepanation.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i’m going viral on ClipClop. they’re reposting me on Grublr. everyone’s talking about me on BungTube
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 26/09/2026
I think playing generational politics even to identify with your peers is distraction from the class gap, but I will admit that my generation is not well represented in the social media sphere
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Lord Juiblex @lordjuiblex.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Gen X is a tough bunch. We literally murdered our parents and ate their hearts and lived in the jungle and had sex with jaguars.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Rahm Emmanuel is unsatisfying middle aged sex
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passionate butt client @miama.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"i'm choosing not to have kids because I have genetic issues that I don't want to pass on" 🚫 audience left unsure how to respond without causing offence "this curse dies with me" ✅ audience understands that you are nobly enduring a terrible burden for the greater good
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 26/09/2026
grew up evangelical during satanic panic. bad time to get into hard rock and metal. except for the fact that my old man knew it was bullshit and thought the *backwards messages in songs" subliminal thing was fucking hilarious
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 26/09/2026
would I have caught a hüsker dü show in the 80s if I'd had autonomy? absolutely. would I want to hang out with hüsker dü in the 1980s? no no no no no no no
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 25/09/2026
got a new phone a month ago and just figured out most of the calls I haven't been getting were misrouted as spam. super helpful
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 24/09/2026
major props to the absolute hero I just saw bolt out of a coffee shop to keep a lady from losing the coffee she'd left on top of her car
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 23/09/2026
in my experience, this has also been generally applicable to irl interactions as well
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 23/09/2026
TIL about "cross necklace theory" which appears to mean that if you see a video featuring someone wearing a cross necklace, you're about to hear some heinous shit.
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daryl "crimetime after primetime" b 🏳️‍⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
"could you get a less evil file photo of newsom?" "that IS the good one, boss"
gavin newsom literally looking like he's doing the laughing scene from coppola's dracula, his hands clasped in front of him and just fucking maniacal
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Jeffrey Rowland @wigu.org · 23/09/2026
40 years ago tonight, ALF premiered on TV. Happy 40th Birthday, Alf. I hope all the cats in Melmac Heaven are hot n' spicy, just how you like 'em.
Panel 1: ET's Asogian starship landing on a strange planet

Panel 2: ET walks down the ramp, smiling, ready to get his botany on

Panel 3: ET sees a bunch of ALFs boiling a cat. This is Melmac

Panel 4: ET immediately walks back up ramp, his little buns showing
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ʟʊʟʊ ȶɦɛ ɢɦօֆȶ (ɮɨʀɖ ʍօɖɛ) @soundwave187.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Look at this user who doesn't get the "please clap" joke.
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Brett "Solidarity 2026" Banditelli @banditelli.org · 22/09/2026
They even made DoorDash apologize.
DoorDash on Instagram: We messed up.
Our mistakes meant some NYC Dashers were underpaid or paid late. That's unacceptable, and we're deeply sorry to the Dashers we let down.
We've reached a settlement with the City of New York, and we will make this right by paying every impacted Dasher the amounts they are owed.
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Covie @covie93.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Diesel was so cheap under Biden truckers could drive from all over the US to DC to protest Joe
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✪ Gray Skies Ahead ✪ @jongraywb.blacksky.app · 23/09/2026
Everyone who says that the current war is inconsequential, police are not funded enough, that AI is an innovative boon, or flatly refuses to acknowledge that there is a recession or depression, economic or otherwise, always comes across as this.
The meme lady from Avatar saying how there is no war in.
Ba Sing Se
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biscuit @biscuit-tornado.space · 23/09/2026
post your draft(s)
imdb is sure handy, but there's no credit listing for the Baby Ruth bar in Caddyshack
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Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
What if we ruined these people. Could be fun
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
It’s really rare how few contemporary politicians are talented at doing what I am calling “Mayor Quimby shit”
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Taniel @taniel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
A post that’s so eye-opening because this is exactly what liberals will say is GOP distraction tactics, almost as a parody— and here it really is what Gaetz is saying unironically as his GOP message.
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