theonion.com
God Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient Potatoes
THE HEAVENS—Shaking His head in disbelief as the color drained from His face, God, Our Heavenly Father, was reportedly horrified Monday to learn that humans had been consuming the sacred, omniscient p...
![Another near-fatality during the event was William Garcia of the United States.
He was found lying on the road along the marathon course unconscious, with severe internal injuries that had been caused by
breathing the clouds of dust kicked up by the race officials' cars.l3]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:5j4pcz5scisofl4yfoeurags/bafkreicw4jjjdfzwkjlshqdzoe36ura2vyrht2h6b3awwg2eicb2kbyn54)
