Reposted by Laurenkatie dzwierzynski @kdzwierzynski.bsky.social · 5myou know what if this game goes nine more minutes we can *technically* say the cubs played baseball into october 2174
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 6mMason Miller using Korn as his walkout music is extremely based, I’m afraid 020
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 1hWhatever fucking put this team in the dirt. It’s almost Bulls season, this is a Caleb Wilson Stan account now 470
Reposted by Laurenkatie dzwierzynski @kdzwierzynski.bsky.social · 1h“the cubs bullpen will take over” pat hughes with a terrifying sentence 1416
Reposted by LaurenRobert O'Neill @robertoneill31.latenightgrin.com · 2hmatt shaw may be a disaster at the plate and a liability in the field but at least he's also a shitty person 48325
Reposted by Laurenvictoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 2hmike tomlin beginning the construction of his magnum opus in the mid 2010s specifically is killing me. dude had the single best RB and WR on his team at this moment in time but behind the scenes? he was getting his shit off 1024223
Reposted by LaurenJason Patt @bullsjay.bsky.social · 2hWillson Contreras hitting a HR off a lefty in a playoff elimination game you say? www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtXq...youtube.comWillson Contreras's Homer NLCS GM 6YouTube video by Cubs Baseball ~ Everything Cubbies 011
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 3hI’m not ready for the weather to turn cold enough that it will force me to wear sleeves. I’ve made going sleeveless too much of my identity to throw sleeves back into the mix 050
Reposted by LaurenHolly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 4hcrylaughing at the thought of Mike Tomlin getting home after a long day of listening to Aaron Rodgers and just straight up dissociating for five hours in Minecraft  171436213
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 3hMuse has been found in a shallow grave in the desert outside of Las Vegas 020
Reposted by LaurenPatrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 4hI use ChatGPT to tell me what to look at on my phone while I’m driving 216617
Reposted by LaurenRyan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 4hJon Gruden about to overcompensate and live stream Leisure Suit Larry 1543932
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 4hFor real benched for the first time since starting HRT and uhh, I am a lot less strong than I used to be. Ya girl won’t be repping 225 again anytime soon 140
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 4hI didn’t know @robdelaney.bsky.social has gams like that. Damn. 050
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 5hUnfortunately, Mother Mary wasn’t gay enough to offset how much it stunk. 130
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 6hAt some point someone’s gonna un fuck the CTA right? Like I shouldn’t be waiting ten minutes between O’Hare bound blue line trains during rush hour? I swear it wasn’t always like this 281
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 6hThe Sox have some absolutely gnarly looking white boys on their roster 160
Reposted by LaurenMaggie @youhaveamerryheart.bsky.social · 10hI have many thoughts. None of them holy 4204
Reposted by LaurenLancCo Rob (Topper? I hardly know her! Edition) @lanccorob.bsky.social · 7hALEC BOHM FOR THE LEAD!!!!! 05213
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 7hOur country really did lose its way when the Astros went to the AL. 191
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 7hI don’t care for the man or the team he loves so much but he was really cooking here 010
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 7hScrolling through my contacts to find a girl to come over and watch the Mike Tomlin Minecraft stream tonight 000
Reposted by LaurenGaius (from Tribunate) @gaius.bsky.social · 8hWestern civilization guys always elide over the fact that the traditions of “Athens and Jerusalem” (even going by the most broad definitions) hated each other for hundreds of years. The literature of the Maccabean revolt tells you all you need to know about Jewish opinions on Hellenism 616020
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 9hYou guys mind retweeting that video of Pete Hegseth a few more times? I didn’t catch it at first. 0222
Reposted by LaurenStella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 9hHere’s the bigger ask I mentioned: I owe $6k in back rent. I’ve been selling my limited belongings to reduce the number but it is slow going and I can’t hope to cover it all, especially not in the short time I have. I have enough to cover October rent and little more. More details below. 18761711
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 9hyoutu.be/RsYi2VH2y6U?...youtu.beStephen A. Smith - We don’t care.YouTube video by Pulse Livid 030
Reposted by Laurenpaul khruangbin (Dan Lehner) @danlehner.bsky.social · 10hthis is what Twitter used to be like all the time. “Ice Cube’s son admits he might have a race play thing going on” is some pure, vintage ‘09-‘10 style posting 210110
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 11hI know we shouldn’t share screenshots from X the everything app, but I think I need to share the kind of discourse that’s happening over there 0161
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 11hIt’s kinda crazy that nobody has ever made a song that goes harder than Bombs Over Baghdad 291
Reposted by Laurentinybaby @tiny.baby · 11hAll those people getting into committed relationships with artificial intelligence. Oh you're getting married to a partner who always answers your questions kinda wrong, uses a ton of water, spends a lot of money, and is incapable of feeling love or affection? It sounds like you met, my ex wif.e 1756
Reposted by Lauren🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 12hI asked Grok about Pinkerton and he told me that all of the lyrics are very normal. 61296
Reposted by LaurenGot CTE from Playing Peek a boo @doubledoinkrigged.bsky.social · 09/07/202619th century Ryan Grim: Based on the orderly nature of the stab wounds, “the ripper” is a highly inaccurate name. Its journalistic malpractice to not give “Jack” credit for minimizing suffering and killing painlessly 19th century Michael Tracey: I think these bitches alive 💯 31157216
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 12hThe neat thing is that this could be any number of frats. A lot were founded in the south and make “chivalrous gentleman” their whole thing. My money is on SAE in this case. 250
Lauren @beavisetc.bsky.social · 13hBoys’ Chat daydreaming about being one of those Salarymen who doesn’t get promoted to senior management and ages out of being a young executive so they just kind of let him keep coming to the office without any real work to do. 250
Reposted by Laurenlauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 13hHad to document this lest it be lost to history 4162942
Reposted by LaurenNed Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a... 142483542
![Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?
Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.
You’re right, that does sound grim.
Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.
I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:qnyq7wies2uc56bzqmfz4q25/bafkreief4hu7c6hd6ymgqnsaejlaipfuj7fq4ka2tkix72pionkb3dkkdy)
