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Alexander the Regular

@alexanderdoyle.bsky.social
25 followers 70 following 26 posts

I suffer from male pattern baldness.

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Alex Winter @alexwinter.com · 08/09/2026
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.
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Hamilton Nolan @hamiltonnolan.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/go-ahead-a...
hamiltonnolan.com
Go Ahead and Use AI. It Will Only Help Me Dominate You.
A message of support for my fellow writers
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
@edzitron.com had it on the money here
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
The sword dangling over my head had lowered a touch over night. Still not close enough that I was freaking out but I could sense its movement.
The sword situation
The sword dangling over my head had lowered a touch over night. Still not close enough that I was freaking out but I could sense its movement. I called my brother to check if there were any developments with respect to his sword and he said he could sort of make it out way up there if he squinted. I don’t know why everyone’s losing it over these swords he said. Then I called my congresswoman to ask yet again if there were any plans to tackle the sword situation as it were and the girl who answered said it was the official position of the office that the swords do not exist except in some rare foreign cases. I could tell she was reading from a script. Can you let her know that they most certainly do I said and she said that she would pass the message along and hung up. Outside some landscapers were at work trimming the neighbor’s hedges. Each of them with a gleaming blade perched inches from the back of their necks. Why didn’t they just grab it at this stage I thought. Why didn’t they just reach right up and grab it.
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
I want to start a trend of diving in barfights to try to get the other guy thrown out
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
That is 100% my old man gripe right now. Same dynamic of fishing with dynamite. Same result but ignoring why we do the process
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Vince Mancini @vincemancini.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Like taste is subjective or whatever but also if you listen to this stuff on purpose you eat paint chips
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Vince Mancini @vincemancini.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
That type of pop country where a corny redneck sort of rap drawls about fish or whatever is easily the worst dogshit I’ve ever heard
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
hello darkness, my old frenemy
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I was fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. proteanmag.com/2025/11/01/w...
The rules
Iwas fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. A total bloodbath. The referee would have stepped in by now but they had knocked him out with a steel chair. The only others watching were either fascists themselves or the people trying to fight fascism with the power of love and kindness and they weren’t having a great go of it either. I kept trying to explain in between haymakers that we were better than this and on top of that it wasn’t likely to be ruled on favorably as far as the courts. None of it helped. I was on my knees now bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose. It spilled out of me onto the snow in a pattern that if you sort of squinted at it from the right vantage looked like a cartoon heart. See that I pointed. Look how beautiful the world can be I tried to say through my broken teeth. Alright well now he was pulling out a gun. I didn’t think we were allowed do that.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Your boss is fucking you. Your landlord is fucking you. Your health insurance is fucking you. The TV and film and sports owners are fucking you. The grocery store is fucking you. The car dealers are fucking you. Everyone is fucking you. This fucking has a name! But they can't let themselves say it.
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Sludge @sludge.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
New: We built an interactive map of every ICE contractor working with the Trump administration. readsludge.com/2026/01/16/t...
readsludge.com
The Companies Behind ICE
Sludge built an interactive map of every ICE contractor working with the Trump administration.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Hey can someone tell me real quick if the handsome self I perceive in the mirror is the accurate one or the ogre in photos?
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Rabih Alameddine @rabihalameddine.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
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CharliCenter-CX @cambrianera.radical.town · 11/09/2025
We simply cannot live in a country where the death of hate mongers is a tragedy and the death of everyone else only warrants a shrug.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
These days, the football game of what’s more and more. In order to champion — when its competition of the ballgame — America is the time for together. And that’s which of the fans. The fans of what it’s most of all. Let’s what it again: the fans of when it’s more.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
operator: 911, what is the nature of your emergency me: nc3 operator: excuse me sir? me: nc3 operator: oh is that a chess move? are you playing chess? me: yeah operator: oh boy, okay. umm ... nf6 me: shhh. no. you aren't playing. only me operator: what do i do then me: sorry will you PLEASE shut up
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Decoction Mash @decoctionmash.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
This snippet is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read, no hyperbole
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
There are DOZENS of us! DOZENS!
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Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
don't worry everyone, I'm certain this feud between the adderall junkie with the nuclear codes and the ketamine addict with all our social security numbers is just a tiny bump in the road towards American prosperity and greatness
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 23/05/2025
Hard not to notice that ICE isn't breaking up drug rings or gangs (because we would ABSOLUTELY hear about it if they were), but instead are dressing up like bank robbers and doing the laziest shit possible, like hanging out at immigration court or grabbing people for busted taillights. Worthless
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Satan @thedevil.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
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Matt Ufford @mattufford.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
parenting is getting your kids to go to sleep so you can relax and look at pictures of them
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Melanie D’Arrigo @darrigomelanie.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
If you think companies will give us a 2 day work week instead of forcing us to more than double our output over 5 days, or pay us a lot less, then you don’t understand capitalism.
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
When you and your old pals get together and talk about the glory days
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
Not a profound or nuanced observation, obviously, but I am really struggling with how fucking evil everything is every day. Everything I love and admire about this stupid and amazing country just constantly getting vandalized and brutalized by people who hate all those things. Not digging it.
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
This mfer pivoting a quote from Marie Antoinette is quite the Freudian slip
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captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
how do i monetize watching Detroiters
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The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
rob
@OkButStill
Jordan Peterson: When a ghost says, "boo!" it is BEYOND alarming, obviously. But the word "boo" not only frightens, it is a condemnation.
Joe Rogan: The ghost is scaring you, but he's also, like booing you.
Peterson (tearing up): Well there you have it. That's exactly correct.
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Nicole Tersigni @nicsigni.bsky.social · 05/03/2025
you’re fired. wait you’re rehired. email us a list of things you’ve done today wait forget it you’re fired again. come back your job was important. you’re fired. or hired. come in to the office. wait the office has no computers go home. we are the department of government efficiency.
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Sincerely, I bought my kids cd players and now go on scavenger hunts to goodwill stores for alternative rock. Their classmates call it emo music
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
We’re living in the golden age of press conferences where a weird guy on pills babbles incoherently
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 09/02/2025
“That was a ridiculous catch! How do you thin-“ “So Ive had this starter for 2 years now, so it gives these bread bowls an extra special tang that just means more in my-“
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captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
...and the ugly duckling grew up to be a beautiful swan that never got over being abandoned by its parents
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Micah @rincewind.run · 04/02/2025
one of the defining features of the techbro dipshits now running the USA is their absolute refusal to consider that anyone, ever, has thought about problems before them time after time they come in, propose a solution that was rejected years ago because it's stupid, and call themselves geniuses
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Vince Mancini @vincemancini.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
A second groundhog has crashed into the shadow
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L Ron Mexico @lronmexico.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Being a “conservative intellectual” must rule so much. There’s this giant mass of babies that are scared of cities, mad at cartoons, and intimidated by women, and your job is to convince them having those feelings makes them brave warriors for western civilization
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
Saw that one of the employers declining visits and monitors on behalf of employees also had pinkeye himself. Cool.
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Satan @thedevil.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
“how poor people look defending billionaires that don’t give af about them” followed by a picture of a guy holding out his hand to a basketball team for a high-five and getting ignored by everyone
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DC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 22/06/2024
P.F. Chang’s stands for Pretty Fuckin’ Chang’s
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Gareth Reynolds PHD @reynoldsgareth.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
If only there was a cheaper way to not make everyone want to kill you.
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
Casually humming Dethklok’s coffee jingle as go for a refill
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
THANK YOU
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 27/08/2024
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captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 24/07/2024
Peabo Bryson's real name: Peab O'Bryson
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Alexander the Regular @alexanderdoyle.bsky.social · 04/05/2024
Finally finished folding and putting away laundry. Now? Looks like it's time to start doing laundry.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 30/04/2024
Buddy I am Massachusettes Irish Catholic, the bar for cutting a formerly beloved family member or friend out of your life is on the floor.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 01/05/2024
So she was lying
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Matt Ufford @mattufford.bsky.social · 25/04/2024
seems to me like every time college students have widespread protests against a war, history shows that they were right to do so. might be something to consider.
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