Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 30/09/2026the staffer who assured Eric Schmitt that Jack Smith was definitely at an Atlanta Hawks game has been identified 1404340558
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 25/09/2026took a wrong turn on Lankershim and ended up in a Cormac McCarthy novel 161747
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 22/07/2026I'm going to make a Wally George sculpture out of Pez and list it for $101,000 7672
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Elon is right, I've read The Odyssey and Helen is specifically described as a white woman with blonde hair, dark roots, 32DD silicone breasts, a lower back tattoo of Dale Earnhardt, and who cums at the sight of a doughy trust fund kid. 61316
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 17/07/2026if Frank Burns and Doug Neidermeyer had a kid 79510
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 13/07/2026I'll believe Mitch McConnell is really alive when he performs Puttin' On the Ritz with Gene Wilder 7750758
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 12/07/2026BREAKING: The Strait of Hormuz and Canal of Lindsey Graham are closed 4764
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 12/07/2026RIP Lindsey Graham: 5/3/16 5:02PM - 5/3/16 5:03PM 110411
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 29/06/2026TODAYS SCOTUS RULING: the president is definitely a rapist and let's give him more executive power 719044
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 27/06/2026wow, the line at Lindsey Graham's Great American Glory Hole must be really long 912619
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 17/06/2026the Iran deal is so unpopular analysts predict it'll take at least 3 fake assassination attempts and a zombie squirrel invasion for Trump to cancel the midterms 19813
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 14/06/2026everything with Trump is staged optics. He wanted to sign the Iran peace deal today so he could announce it tonight at the 250th celebration and pretend like he and he alone saved our country from nuclear destruction. the saddest part is his followers are such rubes they would have believed it 2984
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 13/06/2026wow, did a young Lindsey Graham just blow Mr. Strickland at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance? 5996
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 11/06/2026NBA is rigged! when Spurs had 29 point lead the game should have been immediately stopped and Spurs declared winner. Instead officials decides to play "4th quarter?" and Knicks "somehow" score enough baskets to win. Fraud! 550107791628
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Obama should sit courtside for Game 4. No bulletproof glass, no napping. He'd get a 10 minute standing ovation. Players from each team would hug him. It'd send Trump into such a violent rage he'd choke to death on a Filet 'O Fish 734468
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 09/06/2026haven't heard New Yorkers boo a politician this badly since the mayor from Taking of Pelham 123 417113
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 28/05/2026voting to once again keep a reality star megalomaniac buffoon out of public office. my 9th grade Civics teacher who could recite every Schoolhouse Rock song and Monty Python sketch would be proud 415610
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 18/05/2026I TOLD you going to jail for me and ruining your life would pay off. Enjoy this gold-painted Radio Shack Flip Phone, J6ers! 0510
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 06/05/2026he's not building a ballroom, he's building a tomb. when he dies he'll be displayed there like Vladimir Lenin, his grotesque corpse preserved as a monument to himself, forever adjoined to the most powerful and important structure in our nation like an inoperable tumor 99610
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 26/04/2026imagine how many people would have stayed for dessert if he was actually shot 314725
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 14/04/2026this is worse than Trump dressing as Jesus. This piece of shit harassed a woman into suicide leaving her child without a mother and he's playing the "God's plan" card. Really? So God MADE you do it as part of some divine purpose us mortals just can't comprehend. Seriously, fuck these evangelicals. 715123
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 09/04/2026watching the Melania Trump press conference like... 616720
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Lindsey Graham to celebrate historic Iran ceasefire by going to Knotts Berry Farm by himself and wandering around slowly eating a frozen banana while making eye contact with children until he's politely asked to leave 1824744813
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 07/04/2026lets hope tonights nuclear armageddon teaches every 13-year old sex trafficked girl to NEVER bite a customers penis 610511
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 05/04/2026if Obama said "praise be to Allah" on Easter Sunday Republicans would lose their...oh who are we kidding, if Obama ate a fucking pita bread sandwich on Arbor Day Republicans would lose their shit 220517
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 02/04/2026Pam Bondi leaves her government job protecting pedophiles to spend more time as a private citizen protecting pedophiles 216812
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 31/03/2026TRANSLATION: "I built a bunch of casinos I guaranteed were going to turn Atlantic City into paradise then bankrupted them all because I have no idea what I'm doing so now I'm gonna cash out and walk away and leave you all to deal with the disaster I created fuck you." 27813
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 29/03/2026John Waters is right. It was shocking to see Divine eat dog shit once but watching Republicans eat Trump's loaded diaper every day gets boring after awhile 01119
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 25/03/2026last words of Neidermeyer from Animal House right before he was killed by his own troops 1112316
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 24/03/2026on this day 41 years ago four students at Shermer High School pulled off the most elaborate practical joke on the quiet goth girl 712711
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 21/03/2026does this mean Erika Kirk won't be shooting bottle rockets out of her twat at his funeral? 1417713
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 16/03/2026the REAL Banksy would have made the hunt for his identity lead to Shelly Miscavige 1946
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 14/03/2026just when I thought things couldn't get any worse my neighbor is out on his deck setting up a DJ booth 71387
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 14/03/2026the Commander in Chief of the most powerful navy ever assembled is begging other nations to send ships to help open the Strait of Hormuz, which is barely 25 miles wide. This feels very 300 except instead of diamonds and gold chains our Xerxes is adorned in Filet O Fish wrappers and an adult diaper 1463399
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 03/03/2026Trump is being criticized for not flying White House flag at half mast to honor solders killed in Iran but in his defense it's not like any of them were podcasters 220838
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 27/02/2026the swagger of these mediocre do-nothing zilches is staggering. The photo has all the bravado of a rich dentist who flies to Africa, pays a guide to find some old elephant at a watering hole, blows its brains out, then poses with it triumphantly like they heroically took it down 710120
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 26/02/2026No longer financially attractive? Clearly Netflix hasn't read my Porky's reboot trilogy I just pitched at Warner Bros. 3743
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 25/02/2026in case anyone else found it odd all Trump did during his State of the Union was award medals 713350
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 20/02/2026just occurred to me what Prince Andrew is staring at 416520
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 19/02/2026out of respect for royal tradition I hope when they hang Prince Andrew in his cell they use a Windsor knot 1122523
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 18/02/2026Trump once sued Bill Maher for comparing him an orangutan so Ted Lieu giving daily press conferences calling Trump a child fucker is certainly going to be sued into oblivion. Oh, what's that thing Ted is allowed if Trump sues him? "Discovery?" OK, never mind. 313635
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 14/02/2026just a hopeless romantic looking to spend Valentines Day with an Ivy League woman into classy cinema, soft music, the calming feel of ocean waves, and sunsets. 51054
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 11/02/2026"Why are you protecting pedophiles?" PAM BONDI: 312921
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 09/02/2026See what happens when you eliminate DEI, trans, political correct wokeness and instead focus on excellence? The most successful pedophile ring in the world!!! 6859
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · 09/02/2026Bad Bunny gave his Grammy to Liam Ramos though I thought the most emotional moment of the night was when Kid Rock brought Erica Kirk up on stage and gave her herpes 1118323