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JumboTheGorgus

@takethatudinosaur.bsky.social
92 followers 129 following 1 posts
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Biggest commitment to a 3 second joke I've ever seen
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/03/2025
Pete Hegseth Blows Into Breathalyzer To Unlock Phone
theonion.com
Pete Hegseth Blows Into Breathalyzer To Unlock Phone
WASHINGTON—Grumbling to himself as he repeatedly dropped the device, U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly blowing into a Breathalyzer Thursday in an attempt to unlock his phone. “Stup...
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
AI could never write something this weird and perfect
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spooky lilli @toomanymouths.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
thinking about when siskel and ebert were dicking off and riffing in-between takes and decided to roast the shit out of the protestants
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Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
Stephen A. Smith's call for the Democratic Party to clean house seems relevant today: "The Democratic Party is in a bad state right now. The whole damn thing needs to be purged. I'm dead serious. They need to go. Those strategists fire every damn one of them. Get rid of them."
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The Onion @theonion.com · 24/02/2025
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
theonion.com
Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them
WASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American pe...
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Bloody Disgusting @bloody-disgusting.com · 21/02/2025
We've learned today that Phantasm franchise hero Reggie Bannister has entered hospice care. It's time to rally and show Reggie how much he means to us fans. Here's how to send well wishes and cards of support his way:
bloody-disgusting.com
‘Phantasm’ Star Reggie Bannister Enters Hospice Care; Fans Can Send Cards & Letters to This Address
Phantasm franchise star Reggie Bannister is entering home hospice care, and he’d like to hear from you. As anyone who ever met him at a convention or worked with him on a movie can attest, Bannister i...
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @aoc.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
Adams must be removed. The city cannot sustain being governed for nearly a year by a Mayor who is being coerced by Trump admin in order to escape charges. This corruption poses a real threat to the people of the city. He should have resigned a while ago, but will not. So it’s time for him to go.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 12/02/2025
my favorite moments from the three who were laid off from secret base today:
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
"I want to perform their favorite song, but you know they love to sue" - Kendrick Lamar
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
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🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
Found this in my phone and it made me laugh all over again
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dr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
still think about the patti harrison nabsico bit from time to time
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
The behavior of 14 year olds or adult dorks trying to feel cool, no other option
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Cody @codyjohnston.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
I guess I'm too woke because I find the proliferation of this really off-putting and gross. The fact that it's now reached the "enlightened centrists" class is depressing.
Matt Yglesias gleefully using the r-slur.Noah Smith gleefully using the r-slur.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
leaving the cruelty aside for just a minute it's absolutely humiliating to imagine being my age or older and getting excited because you think you've been given permission to say a bad word. what are you gonna do next, ride your tricycle past the end of the block
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Wajahat Ali @wajali.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
"I think Allah just hates Buffalo...and Detroit." LOL. My friend just now.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
"Today's NFL playoff matchups will determine which two teams will play in the Super Bowl." - Jon Bois
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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 26/01/2025
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/01/2025
Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying theonion.com/rising-...
Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying
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Pats Pulpit: a New England Patriots community @patspulpit.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
The Patriots are reportedly hiring Terrell Williams as defensive coordinator.
sbnation.com
Patriots hire Terrell Williams as defensive coordinator, per report
Mike Vrabel’s former defensive line coach is headed to New England.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 20/01/2025
my favorite post of the year so far
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
Bud....when YOUVE LOST THE RULES GUY MAYBE ACCEPT YOURE WRONG
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
this definitely would have made it into my documentary about guys named bob if i’d known about it. what a beautiful moment of bob solidarity
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Ash @h1twom4n.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
Nude early concept art of Jar Jar Binks is real and can hurt you
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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
not Lynch's movie, I know, but god, what a sendoff
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
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The Serfs (youtube.com/theserfstv) @theserfstv.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
Can a headline alone be eligible for a Pulitzer?
I knew one day I’d have to watch powerful men burn the world down – I just didn’t expect them to be such losers
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onion person @junlper.beer · 16/01/2025
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John Carpenter @thehorrormaster.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
I got to be friends with David Lynch when we were both at Universal years ago. A very kind man, he was a fan of Bob's Big Boy. So was I. I'm going to miss him. R.I.P. David.
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Wintersong @wintersong.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
I've got an objectively small penis, and I don't understand the appeal of giant trucks. Hell, my favorite cars I've owned are (in order): a 1972 VW Beetle, a 2014 BMW i3, and a 2011 Th!nk City. Side note: body shaming doesn't really help anything or anyone.
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
Thomas, leaning forward so fast he bumps his mic and knocks it over: no it’s so much more than that
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🌭 stevia nicks @muffinlab.bsky.social · 14/01/2025
the chinese netizens have put america in the ground
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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
reminds me of my replies. I think Bluesky is so new that it’s populated by low level enemies like this. these are 1 HP boars in level one of the video game when all you’re equipped with is a wooden sword
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jab lung @mobute.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
Disappear into the all-new 2025 Chevrolet Tuunbaq. "You don't belong here!"
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
Leon from Curb
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Jimmy Kempski @jimmykempski.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
"My pick was smooth... that thing was nice. I was like, 'Oh shit Slay, this motherfucker right here in front of you' and then I just caught that motherfucker." - Darius Slay, on his INT
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ESPN @espn.com · 12/01/2025
Breaking: Mike Vrabel and the Patriots reached a multi-year agreement to make him New England’s next head coach, sources told Adam Schefter. Vrabel now is the seventh individual to become the head coach for a franchise he once helped win a Super Bowl as a player.
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
This was in—my opinion—the best head coaching job. Vrabel has a QB and a long runway to improve.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
texans-chargers is currently at 32-12. if this holds it will destroy the tetris, arguably the most iconic formation on the entire scorigami board
scorigami chart showing a tetris-shaped hole, with 32-12 highlighted over one of its points
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Scorigami @nflscorigami.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
rest in peace our sweet angel
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Scorigami @nflscorigami.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
LAC 12 - 32 HOU Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1091st unique final score in NFL history.
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Ian Rapoport @rapsheet.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
The Dolphins have fired special teams coordinator Danny Crossman and WRs coach and pass game specialist Wes Welker.
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Big Joel @bigjoel.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
If I was an LA firefighter and I saw the Brian Griffin thumbs up, I really feel that would motivate me and give me the strength to “do it for Brian”
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
a huge thanks to everyone who's joined our patreon over the last nine months or so and made this possible. both the story and the production techniques were ideas i'd been sitting on for years and it's been so fun to finally go for it
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
THIS FOOTAGE DOESNT EXIST
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