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Storv

@storv.bsky.social
282 followers 251 following 244 posts

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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Gluten free range boars
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 19/07/2025
it’s not a labubu unless it comes from the labubu region of france
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
First day in HR for the NFL: “Ok it’s time we did something about all these offensive lines”
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 09/01/2024
robots can’t high 5 but they can high 10100100101110
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 23/12/2023
kirbyfaced butterfly
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 05/12/2023
i wish our elf on the shelf would do the dishes or something
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 30/11/2023
Is the fact that you can't avoid spoilers for the Great British Bake Off here in the US since we see the episodes three days later some sort of payback for dumping all that tea in the water it's been so long get over it
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 18/11/2023
a big mac is a clubhouse
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 14/11/2023
ew this is one the grossest things I’ve ever seen… I’m gonna send it to you
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 11/11/2023
I like how you’re not allowed to drink in a car unless it’s really long
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 30/10/2023
making a board game called “guilt trip” where your little character goes to their mother’s house. no one wins
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 23/10/2023
i want a love is blind but it’s just a dog on the other of the wall and you only spend a day in the pods because everyone says yes right away and then we all go to Mexico for a week with our new best friends
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 18/10/2023
“wow you sure have lots to do” says the child who is giving me lots to do
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 14/10/2023
boomer moms in your neighbourhood want to know where you took that picture
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 13/10/2023
just as the forefathers envisioned
A pistol attached to a drone because that’s exactly what a bunch of old white dudes were envisioning when they wrote the second amendment
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 09/10/2023
eat your turkey and don’t make eye contact kids, grandma’s gettin’ racist at thanksgiving again
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Rob Sheridan @rob-sheridan.com · 09/10/2023
Didn’t really realize until we got there and saw everyone else’s autumnal beige burlap babies that ours looks like he’s about to drop the hardest nu metal album this pumpkin patch has ever heard
It is our large son standing confidently in a pumpkin patch, wearing all black, a (cute baby) skull on his shirt, mirrored sunglasses, and a hat, making a very serious expression as if he might be about to say “give me sumthin’ to BREAK!”
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 07/10/2023
my wife is upset she didn’t win the terry fox run
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 28/09/2023
my wife reorganized the pantry and now everything is neat and tidy and also where is the rice I can’t find anything in here
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 27/09/2023
grannies don’t really like mcdonald’s
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 27/09/2023
hello, I have gone to great lengths to type out the instructions for you to fill out this form along with the exact words I would like you to copy and paste into it. once you have done so please send the completed form back to me.
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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 25/09/2023
It's only a velociraptor if it has both speed and direction
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 20/09/2023
A baby bit me today. Does that mean I will look younger or is it only radioactive babies
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
If you strike me down I shall become more telling mom than you can possibly imagine
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Lina 🏳️‍⚧️✨ @gridlockbrained.gay · 23/09/2023
tired of werthers originals. what's their new shit like
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Han Solo Cup @hansolocup.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 23/09/2023
John Wick movies are so funny, man. He goes into like a noodle shop and says “I’d like something…spicy” and a Chinese guy puts his hand into a big pot of broth and pulls out an AR-15 and says “enjoy your meal, Mr Wick” and then John has a fight in the New York Museum of Hatchets
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
“Perhaps you’d like to settle this outside,” I say, assuming the Muay Thai fighting stance. Nana backs down. As usual
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
Each time I hand my chewed up ID to a store clerk they say "Puppy?" and I wanna say "Nope, just hungry"
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
if america was a guy his name would be todd and he’d double dip
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Jinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
If being wrong is wrong, then I don’t want to be right
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Zach Schonfeld @zachschonfeld.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
Had some time to kill at Newark Airport, so I made a pilgrimage to the David Brooks National Historic Site
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Skeet To the Void @thevoid.bsky.social · 23/09/2023
I don't have much, but I have the audacity
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 22/09/2023
Friend: I’m poly. Me, pulling out crackers: Well, you aren’t going to believe what I have for you!
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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 22/09/2023
Women will literally buy more throw pillows instead of learning about the Roman Empire
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 22/09/2023
who called it wrestling and not cirque du solar plexus
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regular meghan 나영지 🇵🇸 @ruemcclammyhand.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
hand holding a slice of bread wrapped around a string cheese like a hot dog
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
An unpeeled banana in a bun with ketchup
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
I’m sorry but this is too many barts for me
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
the worst job at mcdonald’s is the guy who has to twist all the ice cream in the back
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
forever indebted to the count of monte cristo for such a nice sandwich
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Storv @storv.bsky.social · 20/09/2023
starting an airport restaurant called eat-t-a
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