Reposted by Stephen Moore
According to Suella Braverman not one of these ENGLAND players are English. FUCK HER 🖕🖕🏾🖕🏿🖕🏽🖕🏼
Stephen Moore
@stevem10.bsky.social
266 followers 633 following 329 posts
Enjoying an information space not filled with the dregs of the internet. More positive about history, books, music, cricket, #itfc
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
1
CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
2
CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
3
CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
5
HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
6
HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
7
HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
8
CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
9
CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
10
HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
12
HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm)
![[Scene is ICE CREAM VAN, a DAD and his child are at front of queue]
1
DAD [to kid]:
What would you like then darling?
2
DAD:
Would you like an ice cr-
ICE CREAM MAN:
Cut the crap.
3
DAD:
Sorry?
ICE CREAM MAN:
Let’s stop pretending, yeah?
4
ICE CREAM MAN:
*You* want an ice cream, don’t ya.
5
ICE CREAM MAN:
You, a grown adult, want an ice cream.
6
ICE CREAM MAN:
A special ice cream with spwinkles and a choccy bar pushed into the top, just for you.
7
ICE CREAM MAN:
To eat in the street. In your *forties*.
8
ICE CREAM MAN:
You pretend you’re here for your kids, but it’s always for you.
9
ICE CREAM MAN:
I’ve given up appealing to kids with cartoon characters on my van
10
Just drawn creepy pictures of *your* favourites instead
11
[Show the side of his van with a weird airbrushed painting on the side. It depicts the hideous, badly drawn, distorted faces of Fiona Bruce, Alastair Campbell, Rory Stewart, Micah Richards, Richard Ayoade and Noel Gallagher]
12
DAD:
Is that… Fiona Bruce?
ICE CREAM MAN:
You love her.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie7vqaoo6ctjkeoxe2as5asbrxdilxahzes5qonzqjfd6tlvr5z44)
![[Scene is the Tudor royal court. ladies and gentlemen standing round. In the corner a very fat HENRY VIII is hunched over playing a lute.]
1
LADY:
Hey Anne Boleyn -
Who’s that lute player?
ANNE BOLEYN:
I dunno
[Determined face]
But I’m gonna find out.
[Title lettering panel]:
THIS SUMMER
[Scene is now two musicians - one with a harp, the other is Henry VIII again playing the lute]
HARPIST:
Yo Henry VIII -
Who wrote that sick lute riff yo’ jamming?
HENRY VIII:
Why...
[Looking around, modest, surprised at the attention]
I did…!
[Title lettering panel]:
SEE THE STORY
[Scene is now a tudor record producer with ruff and wearing dark sunglasses]:
PRODUCER:
Congratulations Henry
Your lute thing is a hit and your story is now one of uncomplicated musical success!
[Show a panel with lots of Beatlemania-style scenes of success for Henry the musician - swooning tudor girls, playing lute on stage, waving to fans as he descends from his golden carriage. In the middle of it in Tudor lettering are the words]:
“UNCOMPLICATED MUSICAL SUCCESS MONTAGE”.
[Another scene - a man is saying to Henry]:
MAN:
Say Henry VIII -
Are you doing anything outside this narrative that is very bad or weird?
HENRY VIII:
No.
[Title lettering panel]:
…OF A MUSICAL GENIUS
who definitely didn’t do anything outside this narrative that was very bad or weird
[Scene with Thomas Cromwell]
THOMAS CROMWELL:
Hang on Henry aren't you also a -
HENRY VIII [jumping in front of him with his lute held aloft]:
LUTE SOLO!
[Final film title panel]:
HENRY VIII:
Rock Biopic
[rated U]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidmilghzmgnj35twr4xvnfm5eubpcdc4xmtd5nzexe2ybcubmeu7m)
